Is it cruel to give your son a “unisex name” nowadays

OP, try being a Vivienne in the early 80’s when the only other time this name was heard in my Northern industrial town was being screeched out of Rik Mayall’s gob on a weekly basis.

Always hated my name for this reason, and I was even bullied by my older brother to save himself from being bullied by his peers for having a sister with a boy’s name.

The nuance of spelling was COMPLETELY lost on those kids. But I like to think today’s kids are more enlightened. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

I know a boy called Lindsay. It's almost never used for girl babies these days!

Well said Babyjellyfish.

I think Ashley is more of a female name in the US. In the UK I've never met a female Ashley but i know multiple men called Ashley, aged between 18 and 35 or so.

Same here, although I have known a very few girls with variant spellings like Ashlee or Ashleigh - which suggests UK parents still think it needs to be feminised in some way before it can be used for a girl.

Also all the Taylors (and Tylers too) I've known in the UK have been male. They were both quite popular boys' names when I worked in schools.

we think of names such as Evelyn, Hilary, Jocelyn, Meredith, Vivian and Lindsay as girls' names

To me, Vivian and Lindsay are the male spellings (though very unfashionable now) - most of the female ones I've known have been Vivien and Lindsey with the occasional Vivienne and Lynsey.

I think the internalised misogyny comments come from the fact that it is often not considered cruel to give a girl a typically boys name, but is in reverse

Anybody calling girls Brian or Gary?

I'd be wary of using one with a surname that can be or sounds like a girl's name.
Rowan Bell or Riley May sound like hyphenated names

Of course it's not cruel. Two of my favourite are Rowan and Corin/ne. I really wish I had used Corin for my ds, but it's probably too late now at age 12 to change it!

Ashley is a dated male name here, girl's name mainly in the US.
Taylor is unisex, I suppose, but very American.
Addison is awful, but I would assume male because of the son element.
Avery I quite like, and it feels a bit more male to me.

Those baby name wizards say anything ending with ley is for the girls, even finley! And as for Stanley, "cool for a girl but do not use it for a boy"

Maybe all names should be unisex?

Why should a name identify a person's gender? This might remove a lot of discrimination.

i know lots of female Ashleys (from the south of the UK) - surely it's properly unisex?

Also know girls called Taylor and Emerson both about 15 now...... think the American trend will catch on?

I’ve always thought the American tendency for calling girls masculine/surname type names very different to the names given to girls in the uk. In my opinion those names are more masculine, but fine to call either a girl or a boy those names if that’s what the parent wants. I don’t think other children would care either way. I do think Addison is pretty awful for anyone though

There are some names which used to be mainly male names which are now mainly female ones, but they're much older - e.g. Tracey, Stacey, Lesley, Hilary, Lindsay. I would be surprised to meet a young male with these names, but I wouldn't consider it "cruel".

I suppose I would be surprised to met a young girl with one of those names too though since they're pretty dated.

I think Ashley is more of a female name in the US. In the UK I've never met a female Ashley but i know multiple men called Ashley, aged between 18 and 35 or so.
I've never met anyone with those other names and probably would consider them more American names. So maybe this is more of an issue over there? I wouldn't Ssume any of those were female names. They're pretty unisex.

Eloquently put, @babyjellyfish

So... boy's names typically become thought of as girls' names once they start to be used by girls.

It's subtle and ingrained misogyny really. Giving a girl a boy's name gives her a certain cool factor, maybe even allows her a certain freedom to live her life without being stereotyped as a girl to the extent that she might be if she had a hyper feminine name.

Once the name starts to be commonly used by girls it becomes unisex, and just as quickly it becomes a girl's name. It's OK for a girl to be mistaken for a boy, but not for a boy to be mistaken for a girl.

It's why we think of names such as Evelyn, Hilary, Jocelyn, Meredith, Vivian and Lindsay as girls' names, even though they were all originally boys' names.

No Dallas is a city. She shags her way round the city!

Debbie Does Dallas. Is Dallas not a man in that film?

We live in a big city. I hadn't hadn't heard of many of the names in my kid's classes. Those names would not raise am eyebrow. In fact both names were in the mix!

That film in which Debbie did him was hetero, wasn’t it?

I keep on re-reading this sentence but I think I spent too much time out in the sun on Friday.

Can you please explain?

Alex is my absolute favourite.

That film in which Debbie did him was hetero, wasn’t it?

As this thread goes on I’m getting more and more bemused at the names coming up. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone in the U.K. with pretty much any of them.

Ashley is a boys name!

How about Carrington?

But ... Peyton Manning? Surely it doesn't get any more, well, manly?

And why does Dallas sound like a boy's name?