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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Changing baby's name

112 replies

TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 17:22

Hello I have a 7 month old son which we thought we had named a unisex name as we liked it for a girl and for a boy. It turns out since naming him and introducing him to the world that no one has heard of a boy called this name and I have had so many comments from people assuming he's a girl. I am really gutted as it was the only name that me and my husband could agree on and I am really concerned that our son will have issues with this his whole life. I really wish we had named him something else, although I don't know what that would have been. I think about it constantly and hate introducing him by name to people now because I just anticipate their reaction. I have had it in baby group where the teacher called him "she" during one of the songs and I had to correct her. She said that she'd never heard of a boy called that before so thought he was a girl even though he was dressed in what would be described as 'boy clothes'. I've had people think he's a boy and ask "what's his name?" then when I answer they say "oh she's a girl" nope! It's really disappointing and I hate that it's being spoken about. My mum had issues at the hairdressers when another person overheard her talking and commented that it was a girl's name. It just feels like everywhere and I'm really upset that he will bear the brunt of this. I don't know what I want people on here to say really. I'm reluctant to say his name seen as no boy ever seems to have been called this before it would be completely obvious, but I just wanted to see if others would feel the same in my shoes and what you would do.

Thank you

OP posts:
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TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 19:27

NerdyBird · 20/05/2022 18:33

Could you use a middle name instead?

He doesn't have a middle name but that is a good idea, maybe we could add one and then we could call him by that or he could choose as he gets older. It took us so long to agree on the 1 name he has there was never another name to use as a middle name!!

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 20/05/2022 19:25

If you are fed up and embarrassed of it after 7months, don’t subject your child to a lifetime of it.

TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 19:22

jammyrose · 20/05/2022 18:34

Would it be too outing to share the name? It’s hard to say without knowing.
I can imagine it’s frustrating having to explain he’s a boy over and over. Sorry this is happening OP. 😞

I think so with the reaction I've had so far IRL. That is exactly it having to explain that he's a boy repeatedly and getting questioned about why we named him that. I didn't realise it was thought of as a girl's name as I heard it first on a boy.

OP posts:
ahwobabob · 20/05/2022 19:18

NCAB · 20/05/2022 18:52

Sooo have a really wierd question - what name will my scans and baby maternity notes have also what name.will my baby be given once born

I was married in 2014 so my name changed from my maiden name to my married, I have a son born 2015 , but soon after followed with my divorce 2017

i still hold my married surname on my nhs medical and bank and all files except my driving license and passport are back in my maiden name purely to keep the same surname as my son.

Since then I have my new partner 2020 obviously his name is different, we have spoke of being married but it's just not happened yet, we have found out we are expecting a baby, and for obvious reasons I'm thinking the worst tsaid our baby will be given my ex husbands name 🤦‍♀️ as my records at hospital are under that, I'd it true would that happen?? Or is there an option have have the baby surname on scans and once it's born my partners even though we ain't married.

What a palava - it's starting to worry him though an he really isn't liking it.

As in the baby's surname in the hospital? They don't put baby's first name on any hospital documents nowadays including the hospital wrist band they put on the baby, they do put the surname on it though as "baby SURNAME".

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 20/05/2022 18:58

@NCAB, as far I understand it the baby will be given your surname. So yeah, the same as your ex-husband's. You'd probably get good advice if you started a thread on the Chat board.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat

NCAB · 20/05/2022 18:52

Sooo have a really wierd question - what name will my scans and baby maternity notes have also what name.will my baby be given once born

I was married in 2014 so my name changed from my maiden name to my married, I have a son born 2015 , but soon after followed with my divorce 2017

i still hold my married surname on my nhs medical and bank and all files except my driving license and passport are back in my maiden name purely to keep the same surname as my son.

Since then I have my new partner 2020 obviously his name is different, we have spoke of being married but it's just not happened yet, we have found out we are expecting a baby, and for obvious reasons I'm thinking the worst tsaid our baby will be given my ex husbands name 🤦‍♀️ as my records at hospital are under that, I'd it true would that happen?? Or is there an option have have the baby surname on scans and once it's born my partners even though we ain't married.

What a palava - it's starting to worry him though an he really isn't liking it.

ahwobabob · 20/05/2022 18:47

I'd imagine it's something like Courtney, Lesley...

A name is honestly what you make of it. I have a name that is foreign and is never pronounced correctly by British people, I've just got used to my name being butchered even after I correct people. You are always going to get ignorant people with regards to names whether pronunciation or association.

Is it a name that is likely to become more common as a unisex name?

I think you should just own it. Your child might appreciate having an unusual name when their older. I still love having my unique name even with the mispronunciations!

jammyrose · 20/05/2022 18:34

Would it be too outing to share the name? It’s hard to say without knowing.
I can imagine it’s frustrating having to explain he’s a boy over and over. Sorry this is happening OP. 😞

NerdyBird · 20/05/2022 18:33

Could you use a middle name instead?

KirstenBlest · 20/05/2022 18:29

@pinklavenders , Jack Monroe is not the name her parents gave her.

TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 18:24

HitsAndMrs · 20/05/2022 18:19

Thank you 😊
You both chose your little boys name for a reason, don't let people's reactions take that away from you. It takes a while for a name to sink in and if you stick with it, it will become easier.
There are all sorts of names out there now. Don't change it. Flowers

Thank you 😢 It's quite emotional choosing a name and then having people react to it. I thought not telling people while we were choosing was best but maybe if we'd had these reactions before he was born we would have picked something else. Although I really don't know what! We did choose it for a reason though and hopefully you're right and people will get used to it. I just really hate to think of him being bullied/picked on for it.

OP posts:
HitsAndMrs · 20/05/2022 18:19

TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 17:46

See I would assume Jesse as a boy and maybe Jessie as a girl. I definitely think you don't need to worry about that 😊

Thank you 😊
You both chose your little boys name for a reason, don't let people's reactions take that away from you. It takes a while for a name to sink in and if you stick with it, it will become easier.
There are all sorts of names out there now. Don't change it. Flowers

TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 17:46

HitsAndMrs · 20/05/2022 17:37

Is it Jesse? As this is what we are naming our baby if it's a boy and I worry about this too but it has been the name we've wanted for 10 years.

See I would assume Jesse as a boy and maybe Jessie as a girl. I definitely think you don't need to worry about that 😊

OP posts:
CandyApplePie · 20/05/2022 17:45

Just change it,
it doesn’t matter what the name is, change it now whilst under 12m as then you can change it on the bc so best to do it now

Amandawest447 · 20/05/2022 17:45

Well it whatever name it is, names like ashley, Taylor etc are used predominantly as girls names nowadays. Surely I’m you knew this when you were choosing a now unisex name?

Undertheoldlindentree · 20/05/2022 17:44

Perhaps Jesse, Morgan, Rowan or Robin? Have known boy and girl versions of all of these and have never given it a second thought. I think this style of name will become increasingly popular...

StageRage · 20/05/2022 17:44

Is it Aubrey?

Which is / was a boys name, but has been re-invented by Americans and those who have never heard of Aubrey Beardsley as a girls name.

I think you can change a child’s name on the bc up until they are a year old if you have a good reason. Change in use, boy to girl, might count.

Or make a Nick name the everyday name.

TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 17:44

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 20/05/2022 17:37

So maybe a name like Eden that's predominantly used for girls' name in the UK and seen as a boys' name in other countries.

It's hard to say without knowing the name but I don't see an issue with changing your child's name as long as it's a considered decision. Do you even have another name in mind?

Yes along those lines. We don't have another name at all. It was the only one we could agree on. I just assumed people would be fine with it as I would be if someone told me their child's name and it could also be used for a girl but that hasn't been the case.

OP posts:
treesandweeds · 20/05/2022 17:43

You'll have to say the name otherwise they'll be no value in what people say. If you want honest opinions otherwise this thread is meaningless

anewername · 20/05/2022 17:42

Or just introduce him as " He is called Jesse"

I do similar with my partner, we aren't married and I think if I say partner people assume same sex, so I say My partners He's called xxxx

MojoJojo71 · 20/05/2022 17:40

Aubrey?

to me that’s a boys name but I think I’m in the minority and I seem to hear more and more girls called Aubrey these days

TulipPeony1 · 20/05/2022 17:40

pinklavenders · 20/05/2022 17:35

People are being rude. There are lots of people with unisex or the 'other' gender's name who've had no issues - people just accept it. Eg female Jack Monroe, Cameron Diaz, etc

That's a good point, thank you 😊 I just feel really upset that the first year of his life is consisting of me regretting his name.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 20/05/2022 17:40

Jack Monroe wasn't called Jack at birth- I just looked it up and she called herself Jack as a young adult.

I think it really depends on the name, it would be annoying to have a name that makes people assume you're a different gender.

anewername · 20/05/2022 17:39

Can you change it to something similar or similar sounding, so you don't loose his identity completely? MN is great for ideas.

User354354 · 20/05/2022 17:38

Without knowing the name it's impossible to comment.

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