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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Is this a really terrible idea for a middle name??

115 replies

Shouldhavereadtheinstructions · 16/05/2022 20:18

Since we had DS1 we always said that if DC2 was a girl then her middle name would be my grandma's name. She is a truly amazing woman and we would both love to do this in her honour. But of course.... We are now expecting a boy!

We have thought of alternatives and even went so far as asking my grandma if she had any favourite boys names she would choose e.g. that my grandad hadn't liked 😂but I just keep coming back to really wanting her actual name to live on. DS2 is likely to be her last great grandchild (and obviously I can't tell anyone else what to name their kid!).

Would it be truly terrible to give DS her name as a middle name anyway? It's not a super 'girly' name as she goes by a nickname. E.g. think El rather than Eleanor or Kat rather than Katherine. On the one hand I think it's be wonderful to be named after such an amazing person and for his middle name to have a story. And it's very easy not to share your middle name widely if he is anxious in certain contexts. But is he just going to get awfully teased? Does that even matter as kids will always find something to tease about??

What do you think? Does anyone have any similar experiences?

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MolkosTeenageAngst · 17/05/2022 08:25

Without knowing the name it’s not really possibly to say, but I will say I don’t think Kat or El would work as middle names for a boy so if it’s similar then probably not. Is there a male version of the name? El could be Elvis, Kat could be Kit for example.

LosingTheWill2022 · 17/05/2022 08:23

I agree with the suggestion to use her maiden surname.

PeekAtYou · 17/05/2022 08:23

Have you thought about using her surname or maiden name? Lots of kids have names like Jackson as a first/middle name and a lot of surnames work

Gloschick · 17/05/2022 08:15

Why don't you give him her maiden name as a middle name? She will be pleased that her family name is living on for another generation.

spotcheck · 17/05/2022 08:12

Come on, tell us the name 😊

TabithaTittlemouse · 17/05/2022 08:11

Your two examples El and Kat work but something like Mandy no.
Hard to say without the name!

browneyesblue · 17/05/2022 08:09

I know a boy who has his grandmother’s name as his middle name. It’s definitely a name that you would associate with a girl, but is also a noun (similar to Daisy or Willow). He’s 12 and uses his full name wherever possible - writes it on the front of exercise books, forms, etc.
He’s a lovely, funny sporty boy and it doesn’t bother him at all.

dragonfruittie · 17/05/2022 08:00

I'm using my dads name for middle name for our DD, just changing spelling. Apparently it is actually a girls name too, you just never hear it!

Anyway agree with everyone - we have to hear it! Although I'm inclined to say go for it anyway. Maybe shortened if possible?

veronicagoldberg · 17/05/2022 07:57

No.

Doingmybest12 · 17/05/2022 07:56

Is there a male version of her name you can use?

Lisbeth50 · 17/05/2022 07:15

Use her maiden name as his middle name.

Justkeeppedaling · 17/05/2022 07:07

I wouldn't what's the name?

BirdWatch · 17/05/2022 05:58

We used dmil's maiden name as a part of our ds's name.

ShirleyJackson · 17/05/2022 05:51

Yep, happily.

ShirleyJackson · 17/05/2022 05:50

Bob Wilson’s middle name is/was Primrose. Didn’t hold him back.

(I’ll now go and check if he’s still with us…)

ButterRose · 17/05/2022 05:47

Depends on the name some would be ok others a definite hard no

Honaloulou · 16/05/2022 21:06

I know a bloke with the middle name Rose - I think it's actually a family surname.

He seems perfectly well adjusted.

stickygotstuck · 16/05/2022 20:57

I'd go for it, OP.

This idea of pandering to hypothetical future bullies is nonsense. If it's important to you, do it.

jenny91x · 16/05/2022 20:52

I'm not sure why you're so intent on using a female name even though you're having a boy; I get that it has sentimental value to you but you need to think of your boy and the times in his life he'll have to say it out loud to people.
My DH was embarrassed at his middle name being Jim (instead of James, his grandad was called Jim by everyone) when we got married he was nervous of it being said out loud by the vicar 😆I bet his parents didn't consider that but I guess that's actually a male name!

DogsAndGin · 16/05/2022 20:45

Generally speaking it’s a recipe for bullying to give a boy a girl’s name. I wouldn’t do it OP

lanbro · 16/05/2022 20:40

Names like Mo, Sal, Jo, maybe, Peg, Meg, Flo not so much!

InFiveMins · 16/05/2022 20:37

What's the name?

ElleBelleLou · 16/05/2022 20:35

One of my middle names is a men's name (passed down from a male family member) and it's never ever bothered me, only comments I've ever had about it are asking where it's come from as it's a bit unusual but nobody thinks it's strange - I say go for it Smile

audweb · 16/05/2022 20:31

Is it Muriel?

Pieceofpurplesky · 16/05/2022 20:31

Brenda?