Taking turns with your partner to name a child

We couldn't agree. So we did this. But each name was ok iyswim, just not our favourites. Wouldn't have done it for one I'd hated! We each picked the middle name for the first name that wasn't our personal favourite. Give it a year or two and it's just "their" name and I couldn't imagine them any other way.

Best to be a joint decision.

I know someone who did this and their kids' names are similar to Jedidiah and Conor in terms of contrasting style. It does sound a bit odd.

Dd1. Has Dhs favourite name of all time. She was not meant.to have this name. We had decided on something else all together but when she was born she didn't look like an Elizabeth. So she ended up w dhs favourite name.

We found names we both loved for dd2 and ds when dd3 was born and we were unsure between two dh said let's go with your first choice or the two as you love it and I got the name I loved with dd1.

However this was done after much talking and communication to get to a list of names we both liked.

Thousands of names out there has be be something that both parents like.

Well yes, I seen men not respecting their wife name choices, e.g. man hating non traditional names, while woman wanted non traditional name.

It sounds good on paper, joint decision, but in Real Life joint decision isn't always possible.

Obviously, it can't always be joint decision, would you really jointly decide your kid's name if one love Desdemona and other Katherine and none wants to budge!
Not to mention middle ground can't naturally occur because middle ground in names is diverse landmine

If it came to two names which are very different but neither parent is happy with the other name then both should be binned and start looking again.

A name is for life, not just a decision on what's for dinner. You both have to be reasonably happy with the choice.

Thousands of names out there has be be something that both parents like.

>>Except the OP also wanted input on this baby's name too. I remember by the end of the thread several Mumsnetters had warmed to Blanche. No update though, and I guess baby Blanche would be around 10 now.<<

I'm not English, but I love Blanche and variant Blanchefleur. Not our top choice though.

I'm also twin and my mum picked my name. My brother got name after great-grandad, my mum picked name that was matchy.
I never heard them arguing over names and my mum had never had another child. I guess because there was never "if that happens" kind of deal.

We had narrowed it down but I picked 1st n 3rd dh picked second.

I think it should always be a joint decision to name a child and both parents should love the name,

I know a family who were having twins, she picked one name (Rio) and dad picked the other (Simon) named after himself. Mum wasn’t happy but she agreed that he could name one of them.

I’m a twin and mum named me, my dad named my sister.

Sister got a name which was most popular in the late 50s/early 60s, and I ended up with a trendy (for the time…) 1980s name which will never, ever be seen as old lady chic.

They don’t go at all, but I suppose it’s better than us having twee matchy matchy names.

Joint name.

if not, you need the power of veto against names you can’t stand.

And not always men. There was <a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20120418150352/www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1449031-I-promised-DH-he-could-name-the-baby-Now-Ive-changed-my-mind" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">a great thread in AIBU years ago where the OP named their first child and name her DH hated, and when their next baby came along, he wanted to name her after his grandmother Blanche. Except the OP also wanted input on this baby's name too. I remember by the end of the thread several Mumsnetters had warmed to Blanche. No update though, and I guess baby Blanche would be around 10 now.

What I heard is that it should be joint decision. Ignoring examples like this.

Obviously, it can't always be joint decision, would you really jointly decide your kid's name if one love Desdemona and other Katherine and none wants to budge!
Not to mention middle ground can't naturally occur because middle ground in names is diverse landmine.

That's like saying "we're both okay to following traditions and pleasing other people, so we didn't care about names we're picking." Which have zero impact on the thread cause the question is "would you pick a name you're not okay with."

There might not be a “next child”! After my last birth I couldn’t have any more. I told my husband he can name all the babies he carries and I’ll name the ones I carry. Problem solved!

I’d rather a name you both find ‘okay’ then a name just one loves. Recipe for disaster!

We sort of did it.

Where I come from, the kids tend to take the name of their grandparents traditionally.

First child normally takes the name of dad's parents (either mum or dad) and the second child normally takes the name of mum's parents (either mum or dad).

In our case, we followed this rule/tradition, as otherwise our parents would be VERY upset!

It was a joint decision though and we didn't have any issues with their names!

Maybe if you're having twins and can't agree but generally I concur with others it's better to agree on names. I've seen a few threads where the man chose the first name with the agreement that the second child would be chosen by the woman but it doesn't happen. Either the man "forgets" that was the agreement or no other child is born leaving the woman feeling annoyed.

I think it might lead to one of the children being seen as Daddy’s favourite and the other as Mummy’s favourite, or just having a stronger bond with one. Not a good idea

Joint decision! Definitely! Just ask my cousins Daniel James and Gilbert Greg.

No, I'm not kidding. Sorry, Gil.

I could never agree to that! I think both parents need to like their kids names/ have a say in what they are called.

It should be a joint decision. It’s not so bad to take turns picking the final choice out of a couple of names you both love (and understanding you may not get the chance to even it up), but I don’t think one partner should have complete free reign with no input from the other.

My parents did this. The result is that me and my middle sister have fairly 'out there' unusual names, while my brother and oldest sister have very classic, timeless names. My sister and I think our names are ugly and a burden to spell etc., whereas my brother and other sister think theirs are dull!

We had an agreement that I’d name the girls and he’d name the boys. We ended up with 2 girls and 1 boy. Of course we could veto any names we really didn’t like. He didn’t like the first 30-40 names for our first girl! Luckily he loved my first choice name for our second girl, and I loved his first choice for our boy

I wouldn't do it. Sounds like a recipe for resentment, if your partner ends up choosing a name that you dislike. Getting to choose the name of the second child wouldn't make up for having to call my firstborn by a name that makes me cringe. There's no guarantee that there will be a second or third child anyway. The choice of name should be a compromise between both parents.

I agree you should both like the name. I have a friend who agreed that her husband could name the baby if it was a boy and she would name a girl. They only had one child, a boy. He husband chose a name that did not work in her language, and in her country where the child grew up for most of his life.