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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Birth registration tomorrow and husband has doubts about daughters name!

56 replies

NameChanged15729 · 21/02/2022 11:37

My daughter is four weeks old and I have her birth registration appointment tomorrow.
We found it really difficult to settle on a name this time around. We must have gone though dozens of potentials before we finally settled on Adelaide. Dh liked it but I could tell he wasn’t in love with it.
Now at the eleventh hour he’s brought up that he really really loves the name Madeleine and wants to register her as that. I do love it too and I’ve been calling her Addie so really Maddie makes very little difference. I also want him to love her name!
I guess I just feel embarrassed about having to have to tell everyone we’ve changed it. I know my mum won’t like it because of the association with Madeleine McCann so I expect her to be reluctant to use it. Also will I keep calling her Addie/Adelaide? I genuinely like them both the same so it’s not her having a different name… it’s other peoples reactions and the thought that I’m used to Adelaide putting me off. Is changing it now really that big a deal?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
stormstormgoaway · 21/02/2022 14:31

Middle names are usually said in isolation, I think. "Does she have a middle name?", "Oh, that was my grandma's middle name!", etc. It's very rare that you will say the first and middle name together, so I agree with Blubells to just choose a first name you are happy with.

By the way I still think your DH is being a bit of a dick calling her by a different name today in front of your son. You've not even agreed on it. It's weird he thinks after 4 weeks, the day before you register her, he can just unilaterally change her name and leave you to deal with it. I am tempted to ask the Mumsnet classic "is he usually like this?", but it's probably not what you need right now. In your shoes I'd be feeling stressed and discombobulated. If that's how you feel, you've every right to.

viques · 21/02/2022 14:30

@NameChanged15729

Thank you everyone Smile

I’m still none the wiser. Dh has started calling her Madeleine which is confusing ds. Mind you his suggestion thus far has been King Giddorah. I’m reaching the point where I’m almost starting to consider it if it means she has a name!

The middle name is Daisy and I am leaning towards Madeleine going better with Daisy than Adelaide. But but but I feel like she has a name already! I can see me still dithering while at the appointment tomorrow.

If you like Daisy as a middle name then can I suggest Madeleine Marguerite which I think sounds lovely and flows better than Madeline Daisy. IMO anyway.

Ditto Adelaide Marguerite!

SleepingStandingUp · 21/02/2022 14:29

I'd go with Madeline so you both like it, but there's no reason you can't call her Addie still, it's just Maddie without the M. It might work as a transition nickname

BowerOfBramble · 21/02/2022 14:29

You can still use Addie as a shortening for Madeleine! If it’s the full name he’s worrying about and the short name you are worrying about.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/02/2022 14:27

@itisyourmoney

Adeline?
Ooh this is a lovely compromise.
Blubells · 21/02/2022 14:23

Middle names never ever get used so I wouldn't worry much about that. Choose the first name and nickname you prefer.

I prefer Adelaide/Addie.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/02/2022 14:23

I know my mum won’t like it because of the association with Madeleine McCann so I expect her to be reluctant to use it.

This is absolutely absurd. It's a beautiful name.

NameChanged15729 · 21/02/2022 14:21

Thank you everyone Smile

I’m still none the wiser. Dh has started calling her Madeleine which is confusing ds. Mind you his suggestion thus far has been King Giddorah. I’m reaching the point where I’m almost starting to consider it if it means she has a name!

The middle name is Daisy and I am leaning towards Madeleine going better with Daisy than Adelaide. But but but I feel like she has a name already! I can see me still dithering while at the appointment tomorrow.

OP posts:
Blubells · 21/02/2022 14:18

I much prefer Adelaide and Addie.

Madeleine is always mispronounced in English and Maddie someone mad.

finallychangedmyusername · 21/02/2022 14:14

I utterly adore both Madeleine and Adelaide. (I also like Madeline and Adeline too!) Adelaide is probably more unusual/less well-used than Madeleine (if that's a factor for you). But really you can't go wrong with either, both are lovely, don't worry about making the "wrong" choice, there really isn't one here.

Cbeebiesrehab · 21/02/2022 12:46

Just a thought but you could call her Madeline but still call her Addie day to day…the diminutive doesn’t always have to be the obvious one and Addie is a natural diminutive to me.

Susu49 · 21/02/2022 12:45

If you're happy to change it then do.

Nothing to be embarrassed about. Most people won't give it a second thought. And the opinion of others as to which they prefer is completely irrelevant.

FayCarew · 21/02/2022 12:36

Madeleine is much nicer than Adelaide. I don't like Adeline at all

Notwithittoday · 21/02/2022 12:26

I wouldn’t call her Madeleine. I would stick with your original choice. My mother chose a name for my brother something like Joey and we all called him said name for weeks. She then came back from the registry office having registered him something totally different, think Alexander. Changed her mind en route Hmm. Needless to say Alexander never, ever caught on and it’s a pain for him now when he starts new jobs etc

RuthW · 21/02/2022 12:16

Sorry, I mean Adelaide which is even nicet than Adeline.

RuthW · 21/02/2022 12:15

Adeline is lovely. Madeleine not so. Stick with the original plan.

Musmerian · 21/02/2022 12:11

I think Adelaide is a much nicer name. I’m a teacher and teach a lot of Maddies - it’s a bit bland imo.

Hadtocomment · 21/02/2022 12:08

PS I do really like both Adelaide and Madeleine. You don't hear of that many Adelaides at the moment.

Hadtocomment · 21/02/2022 12:06

This might be a bit of a sideways thought but I have a name that is now really popular and it's towards the end of the alphabet and my surname is towards the beginning. I've got very used to being near tops of lists etc due to surname. But in recent years people have started just listing things by first name not surname and I've got right to the bottom of many lists. This kind of effects things you don't even think it should. For me it has resulted in- for example - me being pages and pages down on lists that are sometimes directly linked to opportunities etc. It's quite frustrating. In fact I think it's really unfair on people with names starting lower down the alphabet and I think a fairer system should be thought of as it's only now that I've gone from one to the other that I've noticed how this can make a difference.

I suppose it's the reason many people choose to call their companies names beginning with A to be the first in yellow pages or whatever.

I just bring this up because there are a huge number of people now with A names. Which means that there will be tonloads if ever alphabetically listed on anything.

It is probably irrevelent but things would be a little easier for me now if my name was higher up the alphabet.

If you like Adelaide and Madeleine equally - maybe just another factor to think about? I prefer Addie to Maddy I think.

There's also Adeline or Adelina or a host of other spellings.

But Madeleine is a very nice name too so I don't want to put you off. It's just something I wondered if people considered.

stormstormgoaway · 21/02/2022 12:04

@NameChanged15729

Adeline was my original choice before we decided on Adelaide. Dh decided it sounded to much like a brand of medication and I had quite a few ‘Adeline… what, like had a line’ comments. Honestly I wish I could briefly fast forward twenty years into the future and ask her what she prefers! I hate the responsibility of naming an actual human Confused
It is just impossible to know, isn't it? She might hate her name as a child, love it as an adult, or never give it a moment's thought, who knows.

I do think I'd feel a bit weirded out to know that I'd been known by a different name for the first few weeks of my life, but worse things happen at sea.

stormstormgoaway · 21/02/2022 11:56

Your DH is a bit unreasonable. You'd already agreed on her name. I'd have been gobsmacked if after weeks of knowing our new daughter Adelaide, introducing her to everyone as Adelaide etc, my husband had suddenly turned around and said he actually wants to start calling her Madeleine. It's too late, the decision's been made!

There seems to be a lot of tolerance on MN for this, even changing the name of a child months or years old, but I think it's mad unless there's something really wrong with the name. As in, a serial killer is discovered with the same full name, that level of wrong. Not this "hmm, actually I think Madeleine is a bit prettier". He had his chance, she's called Adelaide, you shouldn't have to be worried about how to tell your mum or how you can get Addie out of Madeleine. You can just say.... Er, no. She has a name.

As far as the names go, I don't think one is particularly better than the other. They're a very similar style, Adelaide is a bit fresher and brighter. It's not as if you're choosing between Adelaide and Taylor.

NameChanged15729 · 21/02/2022 11:53

Adeline was my original choice before we decided on Adelaide. Dh decided it sounded to much like a brand of medication and I had quite a few ‘Adeline… what, like had a line’ comments.
Honestly I wish I could briefly fast forward twenty years into the future and ask her what she prefers! I hate the responsibility of naming an actual human Confused

OP posts:
NewcastleOrBust · 21/02/2022 11:51

They are both lovely and I'm a great believer in calling your baby what you want.

Don't worry about telling other people. You've had a last minute change of heart, she's your baby and you can call her the name you want to call her.

Chestofdraws · 21/02/2022 11:47

Adelaide make me think of Australia. Madeleine is much better op.

drpet49 · 21/02/2022 11:46

Madeline is so much nicer than Adelaide