At what point is it actually cruel to give your child an old woman/ man name

But they aren’t old people’s name if lots of children are called that. Old people’s name to this gen alpha is Steve, Nigel, Paul, Sarah, Claire, Karen. Not Edith, Elsie, Arthur.

It seems it is OK for you to get uppity about some insulting your daughters name, which I think is beautiful. But you have zero problem insulting other peoples names so horribly!

I get you OP. It's a generational thing as much as anything. Most of today's new parents won't have known anyone in their hinterland with those names so won't have the associations older people have.

A lot of the so-called old lady/ man names used to be early 20th century working class names. But they have lost that link now and have a different cachet.
Doesn't mean you have to like them.

YABU, they are only peoples names to you. I’m 55 and my grandparents were called Hannah and George, when my DS was born in 1994 Hannah and George were hugely popular but they had been missing for at least two generations

I work in a primary school. I NEVER hear children teasing each other about their names. There is such a huge variety that nothing seems odd to them now.

To be honest I think it’s massively twatty of you to use ‘old people’ as a pejorative.

Age is a privilege that a fair number of us won’t get. There’s nothing wrong with old.

I have a 3yo Iris. I had no idea I would be perceived as being ‘cruel’ to ‘saddle’ my daughter with the name! I’ve had nothing but compliments on it. She is also at nursery with an Agnes, Dorothea, Margot and Reggie!

In honesty, Alice is a name I absolutely despise. I think it is so wet and weak sounding. And Elsie is worse imo that any of the ‘awful’ names you’ve mentioned. Apart from perhaps Maude.

What sort of modern name do you prefer OP? Names are very personal. One person's old fashioned is another's classic. Personally I find the ubiquity of Olivers, Harrisons, Olivias, Avas and Evies really off-putting and would never chose them. My own children tend towards the more 'old-fashioned/unusual end of the spectrum...I'm sure some people hate the names we selected. I'm not sure either end of the spectrum would cause bullying...?

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey I love this too! I don’t work in a nursery but my youngests friendship group is Stanley, Arthur & Ada. I love it!

I work in a nursery and I love it when a group of kids are playing and you realise that it's ...
Nora , Norma, Ida,Elsie and Sidney .
It's sweet and the names suit them.

Old lady names to the babies being born with these names will be Carol, Julie, Alison etc as they will be the grandparents of this generation.

I know
Agatha
Vincent (vinnie)
Walter
Reginald (reggie)
Raymond (Ray ray)
Victoria
Winifred
And I have a Bernadette.
Clearly they're coming back into fashion because people like those names.

Names that are horrible and ‘old’to you are not to others

Just as names you like are horrible to others

Children will only bully if they hear people like you saying Maude name is that of an old lady, if no one says anyth8ng the name is simply accepted

It’s funny, when I look at the list of popular names for the year my mum was born, most have gone out of fashion, but you’d see boys with any of the names on boys today. Why don’t boys names go out of fashion so much but girls names do?

Complete tangent, but this thread has had me in tears.

My daughter has an "old fashioned" name,it was my Granny's. I was reflecting on this, and remembered that I ever had a second daughter (I dont) she was to be named after my Granny's best friend, who I remember as a kind soul who died when I was three.

And then I couldn't remember the name.

I could see her, visualise her living room, and the stairs leading to her flat, her cookoo clock and her pendant, but I couldnt remember her name. And then I had the sudden realisation, that there was no one at all that I could have asked what her name was.

And then I remembered, it was "Ethel". I still kindof miss her in a weird way. Such a beautiful but old fashioned name.

WALTER and Winifred.
I know both

I don't think kids bully each other for their names anymore, when I was young there were a limited amount of names spread between all the kids, I was one of three Claire's in my class, anything different would have stood out. In my sons classes everyone seems to have their own names mainly, a few repetitions (Noah's, Ava's, Olivia,s) but even then not enough to spoil the name. Some lovely names and unusual names, classic boys names for girls, cutsie names, old people names, non English names. I can't see anyone's name making them a target, it's middle aged people who are still tossers about names the kids don't care.

I think children grow into their names. My nephew is a Burt, and people were a tad bemused. It totally suits him. Now a name like Gertrude would be a bit iffy. Or maybe not.

I'm in my 50s and was at school with "old lady" names. Better than the current crop of made-up and mis-spelt rubbish.

Olivia sounded very ugly to my ears when I first heard it being used again in the 1990s. Same with Ruby. Now they're just normal little girl names.
I'd be interested to know where you live as I agree with PPs that names like Edith, Iris, Mabel, Margot, Wilf, Stanley etc are ten-a-penny in parts of London; multiples in a class kind of popular.

I have an old lady name and have always hated it. It's always been a source of anxiety for me whenever I've been in the position of meeting new people as it's always been met with a funny look. It'll eventually be okay in around 30 years time when I'm in my 60s!

Ooh, Maud, Myrtle, Winifred, Agatha, Edna – all excellent, keep the suggestions coming, I’m TTC and baby name lists are the inspo to keep up the homework sex.

Thing is, even if someone DOES say to a child (they won’t) “you’ve got an old lady name” (100% won’t happen), so what? Why is “old lady” an insult? In my experience if a kid is going to get bullied it’ll happen, even with a ‘normal’ name; if a kid is going to be popular it’ll happen, even with a ‘weird’ name. You can’t bully-proof a kid.

Most of the children in my daughters nursery class have names like this, my daughter included. It will be normal for them. There are two Elsie’s, Mary, Otillie, Orla, Rosalie, Rupert, Henry, Ted, Hector and Monty. They will think names 80s/90s names are very uncool I’m sure.

Yes but it’s not offensive for someone to say to a child “your names American”

I don't know OP....to some American names can be a euphemism for misspelt and try hard, made up and generally a bit chavvy/downmarket so they may well mean it as an insult even if the child isn't enough to realise it