At what point is it actually cruel to give your child an old woman/ man name

I once knew a 13 year old Muriel, which is a name I’d always associated with old ladies. She wasn’t a big fan of her name.

I don’t think it’s cruel to give old fashioned names to kids (and a lot of them are back in style now) but it can be odd initially to meet a little one with a name that you associate with your granny.

I like Gertrude. And Susan/Susannah, Joan/Jean, etc. And Mary, and Maude.
I can't get to like Fox, Bear, Wolf etc very much ( because of what on earth must have their parents in urban/suburban/safe countryside been thinking??). But I would never dream of letting my views influence my behaviour towards children with these names. Nor would may others, including young people, to whom even the most unusual name would probably not raise an eyebrow today.

I'm sure I knew of someone with this name in the 70s

Alice never went away, did it? There were a couple of Alices in my year at school (90s).

Personally, I think it's better to give them a classic name that's been around for a while than some of the new ones I hear. I don't think any name is cruel though - when you get to know people you don't really 'see' their name. It just becomes them.

I feel sorry for the kids with really dull popular names. Sooo many of them - had that myself and didn’t want for my dc

I would much rather have an "old woman/man name" than some ridiculous made up modern name with a stupid spelling that I would have to spend my whole life telling people how to pronounce!

Get over yourself OP. Just because you don't like those names doesn't make it "cruel" to give them to a child.

These things go in cycles. I have a name which I would have considered an old lady name when I was a child. I hated it. But now it’s en vogue and I know a few small (under 5) children who have been christened with my first name.

Some old lady names have come back like Iris, Lily, Edith etc

Others haven’t (Barbara, Sandra, Janet spring to mind)

Some names sound nice & others don’t, regardless of how trendy/old they are

I personally cringe when people give boys ‘fancy’ names like Etienne, Felix, Cosmo etc

Most of the old lady names mentioned here seem pretty OK to me - but I just cringe at some of the names being bandied about on MN. Poor kids to be saddled for life with their parents dreadful attempts at being trendy.

I always think of Johnny Cash...
"But the meanest thing that my daddy ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me Sue"

My niece is Iris. It's a beautiful name, from a lovely flower and slightly trendy at the moment too. I think it would be crueller to call her Sarah / Anna / Jane ( yaaaaaaawwwwn)

Those names aren't ppl people names anymore though, because that generation has mostly died. Old people names
(I.e in their 80s) are more like Margaret, Rosemary and Joan now. Shortly to be moving into Susan, Jackie and the dreaded Karen!

@Amandalockwood1007 at what point is it cruel to give your kid a stupid name to be "modern" like storm, star etc etc

I’ll just have to ruin her life another way

Because they're lovely names. It's personal taste isn't it. I really dislike made up modern names or alternative spelling of classic names and wonder why people would burden a child with them. Each to their own.

I was given an old lady name in the 1970s.

I was named after my grandmother who was born at the turn of last century.

My parents really deliberated about it. They have me a simple middle name (my other grandmother’s name, but much less ‘out there’ in the 70s), on the basis that if I hated my given name that much, I could always opt for my middle name.

Just after I was born, as my Dad later told me, the obituaries starting filling up with old ladies with my name, dying.

They really worried that they’d made a terrible mistake ‘saddling’ me with this name.

I never met another soul with my name. I did get teased for it quite a lot - but very noticeably by adults, not other kids. I was never, ever able to buy plastic tat with my name on it, because nobody else was called it!

25 years later, and you couldn’t move for babies being given my name, and it’s several variations. It became so popular as to be over-used, and in another generation it will sound ‘dated’, and in another couple of generations, it will be an ‘old lady’ name again. I’m not going to say what my name is, but think ‘necessary on the bike’ (what I got asked by pretty much every adult I was introduced to, growing up 🙄).

The point is, most names are cyclical, going in and out of fashion.

I must admit, while I didn’t like my name growing up, I grew to love it. And I really like having a name that’s current as an adult (as opposed to being one of many of my generation’s Jennifers, Nicoles, Sarahs, Karens, Michelles, etc, etc - no offence to owners of those names, they’re nice, just plentiful!).

This is a long-winded way of saying - don’t worry too much about it, OP.

To me, George, Jack, Alfie, Lily, Evelyn, May and names of a similar vintage, are the old person names. They are the names if my grandparents generation and even older, so would never have been names I would have used for my dcs. I agree with those who say names go in cycles. There will always be 'unusual' or made up names and some will become fairly mainstream - Wendy, I believe, was made up by JM Barrie, whilst others will fall out of favour quite quickly.

I love old names including Maude - but heard a little Gertrude last month and thought WTF. So I think that's my line!

I think Shirley, Tracy or Barry would be cruel.

You have listed some lovely names OP.

Why in earth would children of this generation be bullied? Their peers probably won’t know of anyone of the former heyday if these names.

I know a young 20-something Maud, she is SO cool.

I felt Edith was an old name. Having never met a young one.
I met a lovely 6 year old Edith recently.
I now think all little girls should be called Edith and be as nice as she was!
J guess it's a grand parents thing?
People are choosing names that their grandparents have/had.
But not so much names their parents have?
But if everyone had the same name, the world would be boring and confusing at the same time!

I am saddled with a hideously,old fashioned name but not one of the pretty ones,it just sounds fairly harsh to me. Normally given to girls born in the thirties and forties, however I was born in the 1970's.
I have never met anybody my age or younger called it. My nickname was based on a tv presenter with the same name, she is in her 80's now.
I actually envied my friends called Donna,Sharon and Tracey and I still do now really.