At what point is it actually cruel to give your child an old woman/ man name

My grandmother, who I never met due to her dying leading to my mum conceiving me due to all the sadness and life's too short, or something, was called Nora. She had a pet name which I got and was so grateful that I hadn't been called Norah- Norah Batty and all that - but now think it's an absolutely lovely name. That's in part because of Nora Barnacle, Jame's Joyce's missus who was a beautiful and talented woman in her own right. Also, my grandmother was beautiful too, so if I had a girl now I'd definitely consider it as a name but I'd stick an h at the end because I'm a pretentious twat.

Very popular in Ireland (where my family are from) was Noreen which was a diminutive of Nora with een being a loving way of saying little. I often call my boy cat my maneen.

I do think all the Edwardian servant names and well-to-do Victorian names have been given a thoroughly good airing at this stage though. If it hasn't come back at this stage there's a good reason.

Edith, Mary, Iris, and Maude are all pretty middle of the road names now so I can't imagine anyone finding them surprising choices.

I do wince a bit though when I see people trying to look for obscure 'vintage' names and going for things like Cecil and Beryl.

A bit premature. Those were chart topper names in the late 60s. They'll be old people's names in 20yrs.

So the grandparents of todays children, just like Alfred and Enid were for us.

Referring back a few pages, I once knew a charming and clever French girl named Muriel. She really was lovely - a student teacher, and rather gifted linguistically.

OK, perhaps the name sounds more glamorous in a French accent, though it's still pretty in English-language local accents that can easily pronounce the '"u" (as in French 'mur' or Scottish 'puir') sound . And it has a nice meaning : 'from the sea'. In addition, it's really old - thousands of years - and from "Celtic" languages, just like the very fashionable Niamh today.

Context - and fashion - is everything in baby names.

I love Edith, Iris and Maude. In fact my DDs middle name is Maude. It's subjective, like so many choices in life.

This is not going well for me. I have an old lady name and a grandparent name but it would be cruel to use it for a baby now because it's not old enough

"Old lady/man" names for our children will be names like Sue and Steve not Edith and Mary.

Absolutely love that name 💕

I also think children don't have the awareness OP thinks they do. Looking back, I was at primary school with children who had classic names, trendy names, made-up names, names from other cultures that aren't common here...to me that was just what the person was called. I had no idea of the connotations of any of them. The names you hear at school every day are normal to you.

Strangely enough I stumbled upon a thread yesterday quite similar where people were saying "old lady" names that couldn't possibly become popular again. The thread was from 2010 so I didn't resurrect it but I found it funny how dated it was as 90% of the names on the list are now incredibly popular, and included the ones the OP has slated here.

"Old lady" names for children born now will be 1970s type names as those people will be in their 60s/70s when these children become adults.

I love the older style names, and I'm gutted I used some on pets years ago now I have a baby to try and name!

This is crazy thread…. My dds a Florence which is a very old name…

looks like the OP isn't coming back

I think old names are beautiful.

Both my daughters have old names, but not ones that have disappeared and made a comeback. Both traditional names that have always been around.

I think ‘made up’ trendy/celebrity style names are cruel!!!

Elsie seems much more 'old lady' in an unappealing way than Mary or Iris! It's all perception. I can't imagine calling a baby Elsie, Maude, or Ethel, but the younger generation don't have the associations that I do.

Names go in and put of fashion 🤷🏻‍♀️ just give your child wtv name you like

I was the only person in my whole school with my name. A few years later it became a super popular name!!!

I do disagree with the American tendency to butcher name spellings

Doesn’t it also work the other way though? I mean, imagining an 80 year old Poppy or Jordan seems jarring too, doesn’t it?

but heard a little Gertrude last month

I know 3 Gertrudes. Two in their 20s and one late 40s. One of the younger ones has German family and it’s shortened to Gert. The other two are Trudy and Trudie.

Iris, Edith, and Maude are gorgeous names 😍 A child won't think "that's an old lady's name." They'll think "that's the name of many of my peers.' It won't even seem like an old lady's name to them because names work in cycles, go in and our of fashion. To them it will just be a familiar name. I knew loads of Elizabeth, Sarah, Leah, Rebecca, Naomi etc, all ld these are ancient biblical names. As a child, I didn't think "Haha, your name is ancient!" I just thought "Oh, another Naomi. I know a few already."

What's the alternative, anyway? We just refuse to reuse names and keep making up new ones?

Their grandparents are called Laura, Dave, Donna, Steven, Julie, Ian, Linda, Kevin.

Auntie Mabel in "Come Outside" in the 90s hence the connotation for me

As is Doris.