Name traditions

And that's what i think of when i see seanchailleach 's screen name

I like the archetype of the crone. The word crone is horrible but i see it as wise and accepting, taking no shit, doing no harm, honoring her own agenda. I think jean shonoda bolan has a fantastic clip on youtube about the archetype of the crone. I listen to it every few months 😍

Me and my 2 brothers were given my mother's maiden name as our middle name. My 2 sisters were given our mum's mum's maiden name as a middle name.

www.teanglann.ie/en/fgb/cailleach

My grandmother followed this kind of tradition and always regretted that she named her only daughter after her mother in law. She always presumed she would have a second daughter to name after her mother, which is who I'm named after. I think no matter what way people name their children, their is always the possibility for regret

People can regret following traditions. Some can regret it and still want to pass it on. People can be weird like that.

In my spouse's family, first-born boys are given a particular name. MIL & BIL loathed the name & MIL didn't like that her MIL had talked her into it - but still wanted us to use it, but only as a middle name. I liked the name more than any of them.

My maternal family has a variety of 'traditions', though most are only a couple generations old so I guess there are some regrets that have caused some changing. Longer than any tradition given by their parents is the evidence of people changing their names or using multiple names. The number of names one of my great grandmother used can make things a bit confusing (before getting into that the second half of her double name was after a sibling who died - but she used variants of that part most).

Really common in my family!
I certainly chose family names too.
It helped me get over "losing " my surname.

So my question is this.
If both mum and dad come from families who use traditions, who’s wins?
You can’t use both traditions, one has to back down as a child only has one first name. Even if you double barrel the first name, the child will only be known by the first part of that name so John-Michael will ineffect be known as John and therefore the Michael will not carry on.?

I'd weep if someone took away my right to name my own child! The only other person with a say is DP and even then I have the option of "no".

My husband's family give the same unusual (but not weird) middle name to the first born child of the first born, and as it has been 129 years of only males born (my daughter was the first female in 129 years, but fourth child), all of them have been boys. My husband's first born, however, had a female as his first born, so she is the first female in a very very long time to have this middle name.
My mother's family also had a particular middle name that first born males were given.

Both our mothers are very into family history to the extent that MIL gave poor DH (her firstborn son) an excruciating set (3 middle names) of names all with family relevance including her maiden name which is just rather embarrassing as a middle name to the extent we agreed not to use middle names at all at our church wedding as he is so embarrassed by it.
She gradually calmed down with her subsequent children who were not similarly burdened.

My family aren't quite so extreme but do like a nod to an ancestor somewhere in the mix. I was always told that I was named after my Irish great great grandmother but it's a pretty common name so who knows. I liked that thought as a child and still do now.

DH and I have given our children whatever 1st names we like and 2 second names a piece referencing their grandparents and great grandparents. I think it's nice to have a family connection with names but I would not want my first name choice constrained.

My cousin's ex was Jack as was his father, his grandfather and so on for many generations. She was very glad to have girls as the row if she'd tried to choose another name for a son would have been epic.

x-posted with you, @Elisemum.

[quote Elisemum]@Spindrifting actually just showed it to my DH- he is Irish and Sean means god is gracious apparently (not that I care about the meaning one bit) - and that’s with or without the fads. Just a side note, sorry for hijacking OP:)[/quote]
I’m afraid your husband is wrong, @Elisemum. ‘Sean’ (pronounced ‘Shan’ just means old. eg ‘Is seanbhean mise’ (‘I’m an old woman’).

Seán (pronounced Shawn because of the fada) is the Irish version of John, and means ‘God is gracious’ or equivalent.

@Spindrifting sorry I take that back! You’re completely right.

@Spindrifting actually just showed it to my DH- he is Irish and Sean means god is gracious apparently (not that I care about the meaning one bit) - and that’s with or without the fads. Just a side note, sorry for hijacking OP:)

My brother is named after our paternal grandfather, but that was because he died before my brother was born. And my grandfather used a different shortened version than my brother does.

There is a family name on my mum's side that I think it was "expected" I would use for DS, however it reaaaalllly doesn't work with DP's surname. Also I wanted DS to be the first in the family to have his name

Just thinking, I gave my dd my mother's middle name as her middle name and my son's middle name is my dad's middle name but the name that he goes by.

These silly rules are why poor Dh has a first name and a middle name ending in the same 2 letters which to me looks absolutely ridiculous tbh. In laws are extremely meek rule following types so if you tell them there is a made up rule they will follow it without question even if their son ends up with a daft name! Sadly for them their son is the exact opposite so we ignored the “rule”.

I have a pregnant friend whose husband’s classic name (Eg: Thomas, George, James, Edward) has been used by every first born son’s first born son for generations (so it’s her husband name, her father-in-law, great-father-in-law etc). They are in a real dilemma (and hoping to have a girl!) trying to decides whether to use the name even though it’s not really to her taste and she thinks it’ll be confusing to have a husband and son share a name or whether to risk that entire side of the family.

I know a family that alternates first & middle names for the oldest boy - so James William's eldest is always William James. Except they aren't ordinary, sensible names like that - they're very distinctive & unusual.

The reason I know this is because a friend married in to the family, had a ds, & flatly refused to go along with the tradition (with the full agreement of her dh, who'd always vaguely thought he'd follow the tradition but had never actually liked his name much, either).

Her MIL didn't speak to her for months & simply wouldn't accept that it was a joint decision by both parents. It was grim. (FIL didn't give a shit that his dgs wasn't called after him, mind you).

So I'm inclined to think that it's a tradition best not started in the first place!

However, it must have prevented the name regret some of us suffer.

Personally I'd have much bigger name regret if I had to name my children after some rule or family members!

On my mum's side, we currently have 4 generations of the same name, great grandfather, grandfather, uncle and cousin. My younger brother has it as a middle name. I think it's restrictive to use the same name, but then, if it's a name you like, why not?

On a similar vein, but not a traditional thing for us. DS was given our dad's name as a middle name (fil and my dad share the same name) as we thought it was a sweet nod to our dad's, and it flows nicely with ds first name.
If we have a dd she will have the same middle name as me, our mums and sil as its a nice name and is sweet in the same way as using our dad's name.

[quote Elisemum]@Spindrifting haha that made me 😂 Yes Sean - Irish spelling.[/quote]
Well, make sure you include the fada, as ‘Sean’ means ‘old’!

eldest son named after father, second after paternal grandfather etc

I also read this to mean that both brothers share the same name