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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Babies surname?

84 replies

El77 · 11/09/2021 16:55

Would you give your baby your partners surname (you're not married) or make it double barrelled with his and yours?

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NigellaSeed · 11/09/2021 18:08

DS has my name. DP would take my name if we marry. Everyone assumes DS has DPs surname which annoys me

Nuuktown · 11/09/2021 18:06

PP is right, children of unmarried parents are traditionally given their mother’s surname

I think hyphenated surnames are fairest though

pompomsgalore · 11/09/2021 18:02

Mine until married. You re register the baby after marriage anyway so can change the name then

dementedpixie · 11/09/2021 17:58

If you arent married I wouldn't give his surname
My sister did this and then when he left she was left with a child with a surname different to her own. Her other 2 kids have her surname and her oldest child ended up changing her surname to match them

sonypony · 11/09/2021 17:58

Out of quite a few I know of only one mother who (so far) doesn't regret giving their child the fathers surname. I would NEVER do it.

Twizbe · 11/09/2021 17:54

Nope babies have always had their mothers name. If the woman was married she'd have taken her husbands name. If not the baby had her name.

Some nobility would give their children born out of wedlock other surnames either to hide their parentage or allude to it. Fitzroy for example means son of a king.

Topseyt · 11/09/2021 17:53

I would give them my surname unless I was married and had decided to change it.

pinkyredrose · 11/09/2021 17:49

You can call your baby whatever you like, they don't have to have either of your surnames.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 11/09/2021 17:49

I thought it was traditionally the fathers only if married and its also the mothers married name.

Kylereese · 11/09/2021 17:49

My children would always have my surname, which is also his as I chose to take his upon marriage (mine was common/boring).

If I’d have kept mine or not got married they’d still have my surname. It’s traditional to have your Mother’s surname but it’s also historically tradition for them to be married and take his surname. I think this is where this misconception has come from.

LouNatics · 11/09/2021 17:47

My surname, or make a new one completely.

I wouldn’t give them mine if I was planning to get married and I was planning to change my name to his. (Personally I would not marry or name change, so my children have my chosen name)

Original poster
El77 · 11/09/2021 17:47

@Twizbe

Traditionally babies have the mothers name. Give the baby yours or double barrel if you like the sound of it.

@twizbe I've never heard of people giving their baby the mothers name?? I thought it was traditionally the fathers

OP posts:
SantaSue · 11/09/2021 17:45

Mine have DP's surname.
It just seemed normal to us, and it doesn't bother me that I'm the odd one out. It's just a name.

Noshowwithoutpunch · 11/09/2021 17:45

My dc have my partners surname.
I wish I'd given them mine.
I'm the one who does absolutely everything for them and am there for them always, fully present both physically and emotionally.
Currently playing the long game and I just hate that they have his name.

ISaidDontLickTheBin · 11/09/2021 17:45

Mine have my partner's name. I've never met any unmarried mums outside of MN who have given their kids just their own surname, although the reasoning for doing so is sensible.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 11/09/2021 17:40

My children all got my surname, not their dads.

Pallisers · 11/09/2021 17:39

mine. I was married having my children but never changed my name to his but still we gave them my husband's name without any thought. That was more than 20 years ago. We both agree now that we would probably give them mine which is a great surname (not that his is bad). It would have been worth it for his father's reaction alone.

Twizbe · 11/09/2021 17:37

Traditionally babies have the mothers name. Give the baby yours or double barrel if you like the sound of it.

MrsGilly1 · 11/09/2021 17:30

Depends on your relationship I guess.

Mine had partners surname although we weren't married at the time X

SoupDragon · 11/09/2021 17:28

Both surnames as the baby has two parents.

Runnerduck34 · 11/09/2021 17:22

Your own or double barrel, definitely not just your partners surname

ImNotWhoYouThinkIam · 11/09/2021 17:20

I gave them his surname. DS1 is changing his when he's 18. DS2 is happy with having his dad's.

EL8888 · 11/09/2021 17:20

My surname or double barrelled. Zero chance of giving the baby his

MilkywayMonarch22 · 11/09/2021 17:19

If not married probably mine, but I was married so double barrel mine first

pinkyredrose · 11/09/2021 17:14

Just your name would make sense wouldn't it?