Overthinking names and going crazy..

What about Mia

How about calling her Elspeth as a full name and being Elsie day to day? I don't agree with you about it being only a little girls' name (as would many others who are old enough to remember Elsie Tanner - one of Corrie's greats) but as that's an aspect that bothers you, having a longer name tucked away in the BC might be reassuring. Could also be Eliza or Elizabeth.

I only like Matilda out of those.

To narrow it down, I think you should remove the names that you "can't" use. If you think Vivian is too masculine and Vivienne too feminine, then they shouldn't be up there. Same for Olivia/Lily/Amelia. If you can't or don't want to use them, they shouldn't be on your shortlist.

Which leaves: Lydia, Maia, Elsie and Matilda.

I like Lydia, but you have three concerns listed there, which suggests you wouldn't be happy with it as a first name, where she might be teased. As it's a family name, could you use it as a middle name?

Maia is nice, but I agree that she'll have issues with spelling and pronunciation. (Until I found Mumsnet, I thought both Maya and Maia were always pronounced My-ah!)

Elsie is fine. You could always put Elizabeth on the BC and use Elsie as an everyday name. A lot of Mumsnetters don't like this, but my parents did this with my name and I like having the option of a formal longer name (which I currently use at work) and a shorter nickname I use with friends and family.

Matilda is nice, and it sounds like it's your favourite. She doesn't have to be Tilda, though she might decide to go by it herself. Nicknames don't have to be the obvious ones. You could go with something barely related (Mimi, Tia, Marnie etc...even Maia?) I know an Olivia known as Lia, for example, and a lot of my family have nicknames that don't bear any relation to their actual name.

Out of all the above, I would go with Matilda, with Lydia as a middle name, assuming you haven't already decided on a middle. And maybe use Maia as a nickname.

Lydia - Lovely and underused. Liddy as a NN when young is very sweet. I wouldn't even think of the chlamidya thing!

Maia - Okay, prefer Maya.

Elsie - agree it works best on younger girls, not so much adults.

Matilda - Love this! I hear Tilly used more as a nickname than Tilda but also wouldn't connect to dildo. Matty also a good nickname.

Vivienne - Not a fan.

I dont think you could go far wrong with Lydia or Matilda both gorgeous names. Or perhaps Claudia which is similar?

It's tough but you just have to pick! Ironically I have always always wanted to use the name Lydia but had two boys and then when I was pregnant with a girl my SIL had a baby and guess what she's called?! The chlamydia thing didn't bother me really, kids will pick something to be mean about even with the most boring of names.

So I had to pick something else and had a similar dilemma to you. I didn't love one really but I chose the one I liked best. My daughter is 18 months old now and I can't imagine her being called Lydia, her name is just right for her.

Clearly I think you should pick Lydia but whatever you choose they will just become that.