DH and the unpronounceable baby names

I knew a Ramakrishna, shortened to Krish which I thought was lovely.

Also love Ravi, Rishi, Hari and anything that can be shortened to Sunny.

[quote TheLastLotus]@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep but then English people can have names such as Dick which is, literally, a dick? You are racist.
I suspect that OP’s DH is actually digging in his heels because of her family’s blatant rejection of his culture.[/quote]
No I'm not
Shh

@daretodenim exactly! So many small things you take for granted until you’re out of your own culture.
I’m not saying that we should impose 100% (for me at least it’s my choice to be in the U.K and date a white British man, unlike some of my friends who wouldn’t even consider dating outside their race). My children won’t grow up learning all the languages I did naturally, it’ll have to be an ‘activity’ that they do, or watch shows in my language etc etc. It isn’t easy and takes work from both sides.
Of course some people don’t care either way and are happy to just go along with their partner bringing their children up in a single culture. But I’m not like that.

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep but then English people can have names such as Dick which is, literally, a dick? You are racist.
I suspect that OP’s DH is actually digging in his heels because of her family’s blatant rejection of his culture.

dh and I are different nationalities.

We had a system where we were both allowed to veto, for whatever reason.
So, I love Naomi, but he said in The Netherlands that is a rubbish name. (can't remember why)
I love flower names - Rose Lily Poppy, he said no, they didn't work well in his culture (I think he is wrong on this actually having met Dutch girls called Rose, but he was allowed his veto)
He alos vetoed names like Grace, Hope Faith, as they don;t work well in Dutch either.

I vetoed other names for other reasons.

Then we had to get past - no names with a 'th' and no names with a 'g' as these are horrible in each others languages, and no Dutch names with an 'ij' as this doesn't work in English.

you both have to be allowed to veto because it doesn't work in your culture

Indian male names of people we know:
Rohan (quite popular though. Ds is at school with several)
Arun
Kinnar
Dhruv
Hari
Sarit
Ayan
Dinesh
Dinuka (he's not Indian but is Hindu, not sure if the name works for someone of Indian heritage as well)
Hetul
Suvraneil (known as Suvra)

I think that people do learn quickly how to pronounce names but it's easier if they are reasonably intuitive, as all the ones above are...

This plan was (is) that we had an Indian first name that would "work" in the UK, an English/Biblical middle name and DH's Indian surname. I figured that he is the one who is living away from most of his family while mine are all living in the same town as us so I wanted to give a bit more weight to kiddo's Indian heritage because it's going to be getting a tonne of British cultural influence in its childhood and I don't want the rest of its identity to get forgotten, if that makes sense?

OP have you explicitly said this to him? It sounds like you've talked a lot so probably! But I'm wondering if it's something to go back to. I am the partner with little access to family/my culture and my DH has a large family who live closer (not as close as yours though). The reality of knowing that your child(ren) are going to grow up outside your family culture, even if you a) specifically left that culture and/or b) really like the new culture is actually quite hard. It's almost instinctual.

I guess too that your DH additionally grew up around a big family network? So he may be realising that his kids won't have any of that (the good or familiar bits at least) and in addition they will have a very strong English connection.

I really have to say that there's a difference between knowing the logic of this and feeling it.

It may be worth going back to this and letting him know explicitly you understand and seeing if there are any particular things on his mind about this (not seeing x family member after school, not having x dish with grandma at weekends etc - small things count for a lot here). And then revisit the names.

I do t mean to suggest you're not listening to him because actually you sound like you are. It's more that as someone in a similar situation to him, I know my partner didn't have a clue and it was understandable because I'd never understood the full impact of having a child grow up in a culture that wasn't mine, until I was faced with it.

Shafi comes up on a list of Marathi names on Baby Names Direct.

‘Doesn’t sound silly to English ears’

This absolutely is ‘culturally insensitive’! Otherwise knows as racist.

Rishi is lovely
Anwar

How about a name which can change slightly depending on the native language of the person saying it? I'm thinking of something like Rahul/Raoul.

But someone reading Shlok for the first time is going to have a bash.

I don't think any names are going to sound the same with an English accent - Irish names don't sound the same with the non-rhotic R, and certainly those of my relatives who were given French names which were popular in the 60s and 70s (Julie, Therese, Marie, etc) would make the French raise an eyebrow at the pronunciation.

Everyone is suggesting really old fashion Indian names. I’m not familiar with Marathi names. If you google you’ll get a long list of Marathi boy names so it’s worth a look. Just some suggestions that could work:
Dhillon
Hari
Dhian
Devan
Arun
Neel
Sunny
Krishna
Kian
Rohan
Dhruv
Varun
Siddarth

I quite like siddarth (nickname sid?)

[quote mathanxiety]@TheLastLotus, I agree with you, having seen many, many threads featuring Irish name and responses to them that are crass in the extreme.

However, there are names - Shlok for instance - that have different meanings in English.

Maybe if the DH were to provide a really long list of names he was comfortable with - not necessarily his favourite names since he was eight, just names he could live with -, there would be something on it the OP would like.

[/quote]
'Shlok' isn't pronounced 'shlock'. The 'sh' part is lighter than an English 'sh', and the vowel is long, like 'slow'. Admittedly 'Sloak' isn't much more appealing for primarily English speakers.

WeBuiltThisBuffet, it is Soham in this case. His dad explained the meaning to me and I felt like I had received a most beautiful, profound and life-affirming sermon; along the lines of it being an acknowledgement of the divine in all beings, and a statement that "I am that", also apparently used as a mantra. Gorgeous name for a lovely boy.

Are there any names you can lengthen /complicate for him? My.mum wanted to call me a short name, like 'Anna' for example. Dad thought it was too short and settled for 'Anastasia' . So my birth certificate name is long but people hardly call me that.

Sachin is a great name. I had a very handsome and charming friend called Sachin when I was a teenager !

Cliodhna is not pronounced 'cleaner'.

@TheLastLotus, I agree with you, having seen many, many threads featuring Irish name and responses to them that are crass in the extreme.

However, there are names - Shlok for instance - that have different meanings in English.

Maybe if the DH were to provide a really long list of names he was comfortable with - not necessarily his favourite names since he was eight, just names he could live with -, there would be something on it the OP would like.

[quote Hollyhobbi]@Luckyelephant1 Kian isn't an Irish name as there is no letter K in the Irish alphabet. Cian is Irish as the letter C is instead of the K. It means ancient.[/quote]
Oh right forgive my ignorance... I only assumed it was Irish due to Kian from Westlife!

Either way it's a lovely name.

I totally get you, my only condition to name my kid was that both families needed to be able to pronounce the name and easily spelled in both languages.
That made for some long conversations.
Also she has both our surnames

Dhillon?

*any chance

I work with Rohan, Ravi, Keran and Anwaar. Like all of those names.

I haven’t read the full thread, so this may have been discussed already, but is there any your DH’s refusal to budge is related to your parents’ insistence the baby be called William or George....?