Adding my maiden name to baby’s name?

31 replies

munchymoo · 10/04/2021 10:42

I’ve just had our beautiful DD who is 2 weeks old and as yet unnamed! Have DS1 5 years old and DS2 18 months.

I changed my maiden name on marriage to my husband’s surname in a fit of romance (!!) and in all honesty have always regretted it - have been honest with him about this. The reasons are multiple - I feel like I’ve lost my identity in ways, I love my maiden name and do not like my married name (it’s not a great surname!), I’m the last one of child bearing age in our family and there are no males to carry on the name so my surname will die out now in our direct line, and I also now feel since having a daughter that I don’t want her to comply with the patriarchal system if she doesn’t want to (but in no way am I disrespecting those who do, it’s just becoming an issue for me that’s all).

We’ve discussed double barrelling and we all 5 of us become new name - let’s say Smith-Jones for example. Or do I just revert to maiden name so I’m Smith and husband and kids are all Jones. Or do I double barrel on my own?

I want my maiden name back but I don’t love the idea of my children having a different name to me.

If you double barrel - what is difference between heiphenating or not? I’m really confused. So Smith-Jones is different to Smith Jones - in the latter example the surname is basically Jones and Smith is a middle name??

If I gave my daughter my maiden name as a middle name, would it be weirdly that my sons don’t have it? They both have my father’s names as their middle names as he died years ago and wanted to honour him in their names.

If I change their names by Deedpoll - adding in my maiden name - will that be a nightmare for them for ever more having to produce lots of documents etc?

Sorry so many questions! I’m in a tizzy. Can’t work out how to name my daughter when all these ideas are going round my head. Any help gratefully received!

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TheWaif · 10/04/2021 12:15

I changed my Dd's name to double barreled when we separated. I wouldn't give your maiden name as a middle name in your circumstances in case you want it as a proper surname (or part of one) in future.

Sall23 · 10/04/2021 12:12

I didn't change my name when I married, but when my daughter was born, we all went double-barreled, and so share a surname. It seems much more equal to me. Yes, changing it will be a bit of a faff, but just make a list and do it systematically - once it's done, you never have to think about it again.

alexis4theppl · 10/04/2021 11:43

My partners surname is double barrelled and the children have taken this surname. It really annoys me that they have their paternal grandparents surnames and mine has been wiped out.
My son has my middle name which is also my dads middle name. I hope will carry on that tradition

shipsandgiggles · 10/04/2021 11:30

DH and I double barrelled our names. So we became a a Smith-Jones family

SaraCrewesDoll · 10/04/2021 11:21

I have my mother’s maiden name as a middle name, as do my siblings. My mother is from a family of girls and the name was going to die out otherwise. I took my husband’s surname when I got married (would have actually liked to keep my surname on reflection!) so my OWN maiden name is now ‘gone’ from my name, but gutting.

I think if you want your maiden name change it back. You will need to agree something that works with your husband for the children (mine do not have my maiden name as middle names). Maybe double barrelled is an option if you both feel strongly about it - if it is not hyphenated the first name will be a middle name not a surname.

Totallyworthit · 10/04/2021 11:12

Common in Scotland apparently to give children the maiden name of the mother, not weird at all. DH has his mother’s maiden name -oddly not his older brother. FIL had his mother’s maiden name as his middle name. I think it’s a nice way to keep the name in the family

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