The rights to a name?

Balls to her. If you love the name then use it.

Our 3rd daughter and our niece share a middle name, ours is older. My SIL called her son one of the names we would have used if our twins had been boys. All our children's names begin with different letters so we wouldn't use it if we had another boy anyway. We are keeping current babys name a secret until after birth.

If you like it, use it. No-one owns a name. Plus she’s not even pregnant, may only have boys, or may change her mind.

If she liked the name so much she should have used it for one of her two existing DDs.

Also, Sophia is such a popular name anyone who uses it will expect to encounter others with the name.

So I wouldn't be inclined to change your name for a hypothetical daughter of someone who already has two daughters.

You'd still need DH to agree to use the name though!

Ignore her . Name your baby whatever you please and let the silly madam do the same when her time comes.
That said; I'd be concerned at your dh suggesting you indulge her nonsense, what's that about?

I reckon your names (lovely) hadn't even entered her thoughts but the minute she heard them, she loved them and tried to bagsy them. She's a CFer trying her luck. Ignore her and go ahead with your choices. She's the one that'll sound deranged when/IF she has another girl and keeps the exact name as yours (without switching them around). I guarantee she'll be bad mouthing anyone that she can get hold of and accuse you of 'stealing' her names. I'd keep schtum on anything else around her going forwards.

I don't think there's an issue here.

She's already said that she will still use that name even if you have used it, so she doesn't mind if there are two cousins with that name.

There's only a problem if you have a problem with it.

Historically, cousins often had the same names as people were usually named after relatives.

Please just use the name you like. She may well change her mind anyway before she needs another girl's name, but if she does go with the same name, there will be two children with the same first name, a fairly similar middle name which will rarely if ever be used, I'm guessing not with the same surname, and not in the same year at school (if they even go to the same school). It's not going to cause anyone any confusion or inconvenience.

@Crankley 😂😂😂😂

She has no right to get arsey. However, she is your sister in law so whilst you should still use Sophia, maybe change the middle name as it will look like you’re being spiteful (I’m not saying you are btw). She just said that she would still use the name, so be prepared for that if you use it. I, personally, would still use a name I loved even if a family member used it.

May2021Mummy
@Crankley I've seen that episode people are crazy

So true, in one episode a black woman who was a 'tad' overweight, put on a strapless dress. Her boobs were overflowing and on seeing herself in the mirror, screamed 'Oh my God, I look just like Princess Diana!'

@Crankley I've seen that episode people are crazy

Sophia is a lovely name and it's no big deal for two cousins to share a name. Your SiL is being ridiculous - how many Sophia's does she think there are in the country? Plus she's not even pregnant plus even if she was it may not be a girl!

It reminds me of an episode of Say Yes To The Dress re bridal dresses. The bride to be arrived with mother and younger sister. Went into a room to try on one of the dresses, came out to ask opinions, to be told by sister 'if you choose that dress I will never speak to you again because that is the dress I want for my wedding.'

There was great puzzlement because she wasn't engaged, wasn't close to being engaged, she didn't even have a boyfriend!

Use the name.

She might never have a girl, she might change her mind. Even if she doesn't plenty of families have similar or the same names.

I'd use it and tell her to do one - she's saving a name for an imaginary child she may not even have

Congratulations I think it's a lovely name choice

If she also calls her non existent baby Sophia then she'll have to get used to sharing it with others anyway. It's a very popular name, I know several.

I would definitely use it now, even if I had been undecided before.

Don't let her bump you off a name! She may never have this imaginary girl.

Keep Sophia - it's a very lovely and very popular name. Potentially having 2 cousins both named Sophia Isabelle isn't a huge deal imo - there are bound to to be lots of other Sophie's/Sofia's/Sophia's of a similar age they are going to run into (and nobody will know their middle names).

Your SIL is just annoyed you got there first, but who knows, by the time if/when she has a DD she could have gone off Sophia and you could regret not using it!

You cannot bag a name for a baby you’re not pregnant with or a gender you might never have.

SIL and I had kids at the same time.
Boys name wasn’t an issue.
We ended up pregnant with girls at the same though though and she considered our girls name briefly. I didn’t mind, didn’t have any issue but did make it clear it was our only choice and that we wouldn’t be changing our minds. I suggested different nicknames to make it easier on family to identify

SIL changed her mind I knew she would. I’m the kinda person who can see someone in the office wearing the same dress as me and be like ‘hey nice dress’. SIL would be mortified and not wear the dress again ... two types of people!

Agree with everyone else, use it. She’s the one who’ll look a bit odd if she has another daughter further down the line and gives her the same name as yours. She’s the one who’ll get the looks not you. Beautiful name - use it!

Concur with what everyone else has said. I’d be narked at her putting you in such a horrible position though, not cool at all. DH needs to have a word. She’s being ridiculous.

Your baby actually exists, your SILs doesn’t. So while no one really has more rights to a name than anyone else, you definitely have more reason to take the name now.

As long as you don’t get upset if sil does use the same name if the time comes, which it probably won’t, then there’s no problem. Tell your husband to stop being silly.

ten I’d guess they both work with children

(due to our jobs we are both fussy and it's taken us a long time to come up with two potential names we both like)

What about your jobs makes you fussy about choosing baby names? That really confused me!

But yanbu. You are pregnant so I'd go ahead and use the name. She doesn't own the rights to it. She's not even pg or ttc!

A school friend's cousin had the same first name and surname as friend, was a bit weird but it happens and who cares, they'll be in different school years, likely different friendship groups and different jobs later in life. No one owns a name, just do what you want

Right, so she’s had two opportunities to use these names and has decided against... yeah. All yours!

What a delight she is.

Use the name, she has no rights over it. And tell her she is very welcome to also call her daughter, if she has one, the same name as you also have no rights over it. It is completely up to her. And she will look like the idiot she is.