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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Naming a girl after a man

45 replies

Opinion4321 · 10/03/2021 16:25

Hi, I posted in chat too but I'd really appreciate the honest opinions I often see on this board : )

My FILs name is Ray and if we have a boy we would use this as a middle name. However, I'm wondering if we could also use it for a girl, either with the English spelling of Rae or Rei/Rai (as my FIL is Japanese).

Would it be really odd to name a girl after a man? It would also potentially really annoy my MIL but my FIL is such a lovely man. I'm worried he might think it's odd.

My DH is very close to his dad but isn't sure if it's a strange thing to do.

Honest opinions welcomed! Thank you

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clpsmum · 20/03/2021 07:47

It's nicer for a girl IMO

purplemunkey · 20/03/2021 07:37

I know a Rei, I think it’s a great name. Go for it.

AnxiousAnnie86 · 20/03/2021 07:29

@Opinion4321 Rae is on our list for a girl! I absolutely love it! Thinking of spelling Rey, the Star Wars character Rey! We've had a lot of mixed views on it saying it's a nickname but I love it x

Onlinedilema · 20/03/2021 07:07

I 27th no it's fine to use Rae as a middle name. Dont like it as a first name.

garlictwist · 20/03/2021 05:42

I work with a woman called Rai. I think it's short for something though (an unusual Jewish name I think) but can't remember what the full name is. Everyone just calls her Rai though.

Neonlightning · 20/03/2021 05:38

I can't see a problem, society is slowly moving away from gendered names.

I do love Rei, I can see is being a lovely middle name.

babynamelover · 20/03/2021 04:17

Raya is new Disney movie.

movingmelly · 20/03/2021 02:04

My friends dad was called Ray and she wanted to honour him so she named her daughter Reya, which is gorgeous.
Other spellings could be Raya or Rheya ☺️

SmeleanorSmellstrop · 11/03/2021 01:17

Rae is becoming a really common middle name choice so personally I wouldn't use it, especially not spelt Rai as I don't think this is pronounced how you'd like. I also think it's unkind to name your child after one parent if anotjer parent would be upset about this, unless you really hate MIL or are NC with her. I think every baby deserves their own name! Dont see the need to name a little girl after her living grandad.

partyatthepalace · 10/03/2021 23:11

It’s fine. That’s how lots of feminine versions of male names started I imagine eg Charles / Charlotte etc

Cbeebiesrehab · 10/03/2021 22:34

My son has the masculine version of my grandmother’s name. It was well received when she found out

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 10/03/2021 20:46

How lovely to honour FIL. I like both Raya for a first name or a middle and Rae or Rei for a middle name (I think Rae is a bit too nn for me personally as a first name).

DramaAlpaca · 10/03/2021 19:58

It's fine.

ILoveShula · 10/03/2021 18:43

Rae isn't great, although fine as a surname, but Rei is a Japanese name and given the link should be fine as a middle name.

Tal45 · 10/03/2021 18:36

I really like it as a girls name x

purplebiscuits · 10/03/2021 18:12

Rei is lovely!

Sunny4876 · 10/03/2021 18:08

*Ds not as

Sunny4876 · 10/03/2021 18:08

My Dd has a unisex name that is more commonly used for boys,one of my other friends was going to use the same name for her as even if he had been a girl and my other friend named her Dd after the grandfather so not strange to me at all.

trindi · 10/03/2021 18:05

It's my daughters middle after my grandpa's sister who died when she was a baby, and was called Rae.

I think it's cute and would have used it as her first name but DP wasn't keen.

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 10/03/2021 17:51

I know a female Ray, it's a lovely name. But I just saw someone suggested Raya which I haven't heard before and I think that's lovely.

MeadowHay · 10/03/2021 17:48

I would probably ask FIL about how he feels about it tbh. Make sure as PP said that it's culturally 'ok' to do this. I come from a culture where only the names of deceased relatives can be used to name future generations to honour them. It would be seen as culturally 'wrong' and a bad omen to name after a living relative.

daisypond · 10/03/2021 17:41

Is his name Ray or Rei? They are very different, with different roots and meanings, and pronounced differently too, I think. I strongly dislike Rae.

May2021Mummy · 10/03/2021 17:24

I love Rae as a girls name I think you should go for it

Congratulations

sarah13xx · 10/03/2021 17:08

Think Rae is lovely, it’s my gran’s name 😊 we are honouring my papa with my son’s middle name but think first name is also nice

Original poster

Opinion4321 · 10/03/2021 17:03

Thanks all! Far more positive reactions than I was expecting.

@EugeniaGrace that’s what I’m not 100% sure about. My nephew has a Japanese name after another relative though. I also don’t want to get the spelling wrong. My DH thinks it’s fine and should be spelt Rei.

@BraveBananaBadge I was just about to google how Rey is spelt in Star Wars when I read your response : )

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