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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

If you just can’t agree on a name, what would happen when they go to register the baby?

36 replies

TeapotCollection · 15/02/2021 14:50

Just being nosy really 😊

Our neighbours daughter is due in a couple of months and they’re at stalemate big time. Her husband wants a name that’s been in his family for years but she hates the name and won’t have it. I don’t know either of them well but our neighbours say they’ll both dig their heels in. Neighbours are finding themselves hoping it’s a girl so that it’s not a problem

Does either parent legally get the final say?

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duckalemon · 15/02/2021 15:50

The man usually lets the woman have the final say once he has witnessed the birth

bridgetreilly · 15/02/2021 15:50

My grandfather did this. My gran had refused to give the family name she hated to her first two sons, so when my dad was born, his father went straight to the registry office and put down only that name, so he has no middle name and only the 'hated' family name. I really like his name, personally. ;)

bananamonkey · 15/02/2021 15:48

At the moment there’s about a 4-5 month delay on registration appointments (at least in our area) so they may have more time to argue it out! Also they were only allowing one person from married couples to attend so she could get in there first. It if one person doesn’t like the name then it’s vetoed surely.

Changeythenamey · 15/02/2021 15:44

I knew a couple who were like this about there first baby. Dad was so so fixed on a family name. Anyway, after he’d witnessed her go through child birth he said she could call the baby whatever she wished.

Might be worth the neighbours finding out the sex just to see if it’s a live issue.

MixedUpFiles · 15/02/2021 15:06

I don’t know what happens legally if they are married, but morally, mom is the final arbiter.

Original poster
TeapotCollection · 15/02/2021 15:02

Yes it is difficult but I’m on her side - she doesn’t like his choice so surely they should choose a name together that suits them both

They’re married, I didn’t realise either could register the birth without the other. Don’t know if they’re aware of that. I’m not saying anything

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MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 15/02/2021 15:01

I know someone whose parents had decided on a name and the dad went to register the baby, changed his mind on the way and gave the baby a completely different name, one not even on the consideration list! The parents are still married - if my husband had done that, he'd be under the patio.
I do believe you can change a baby's name if you do it within the first year, so if one parent did give the child a hideous name, the other could in theory change it and not tell first parent until the child was one.

Imho, if they can't agree, the mother should get final say - she literally made a human with her body, I'd say she has more skin in the game

MrsDoctorDear · 15/02/2021 14:58

Not popular on here but I think the mother should have final say if the father is not budging on the family name thing.

Family name should be middle name.

ShirleyPhallus · 15/02/2021 14:57

@QueenOfPain

What will actually happen at the registry office is the person will look at them both blankly while they grow up and choose a name, and if they can’t they’ll send them away to rebook for another day.
This 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼
QueenOfPain · 15/02/2021 14:56

What will actually happen at the registry office is the person will look at them both blankly while they grow up and choose a name, and if they can’t they’ll send them away to rebook for another day.

LemonBreeland · 15/02/2021 14:52

If they are married it could be a case of who gets to the registry office first. If they aren't married he can not register without her.

Seems like a difficult situation.