If you just can’t agree on a name, what would happen when they go to register the baby?

I really dislike when people feel a silly family tradition matters more than choosing a name you like and hope the child will also like. It’s so arrogant and self centred

Generally if either parent really hate a name it should be vetoed (unless one parent is being a dick and claiming to hate all names except the one they want).

If someone is being this much of a dick about something as important as their child’s name, I’d be questioning whether I actually wanted to raise the child with them! What else are they going to be a stubborn dick about?

Tell the mum to register the child alone if they really can’t agree. Before dad gets a chance to!

My great grandad registered my grandad with his choice of name, however, such was the force of my great grandmother’s personality that at his funeral some 80+ years later actual family members were surprised to discover that the name they knew him by was not his actual name 😄

The family sound awful saying they will call the baby 'their' name.

I know someone whose Mum calls her one name and Dad another as Dad didn't like the name Mum chose (he was working away at the time the baby was born).

Lol I don't know. But we were still not in agreement on arrival at the registry office and we'd left it as late as we could.
We finally decided and went in.

I have met several people whos fathers registered them with a totally different name from the one they had agreed on with their wife. Baffling.

she says her son in law and his family have said they’ll use ‘their name’ regardless. Charming eh?

Eurgh, the 'D'H and his family sound awful.

I can see DH and I disagreeing name wise - we have religious and cultural differences to navigate and different tastes but I can't imagine either of us insisting on a name the other hated.

If I were your neighbours I'd be encouraging my DD to come home.

If the husband and inlaws are being this unpleasant to her now I can imagine they will be even worse when she's just given birth.

A friend of mine was known by a completely different name to her birth certificate as her Dad took it upon himself to choose a different name when he went to register. Her Mum called her by the name that she'd chosen and friend changed her name by deed poll as an adult to reflect this.

When my grandfather went to register my mother's birth (during WW2) he and my grandmother had agreed a name. He was in a queue for the registrar with about 6 other men and 3 of them had chosen the same name as each other (a seasonal name) which was very different from the name he and my grandmother had chosen.
He decided the other name was nicer so registered my mum with the other name (yep, the same one as three other babies!) and then went home and told my grandmother! Apparently she didn't get too cross . I think the original choice name was way better personally.

I know someone whose parents had decided on a name and the dad went to register the baby, changed his mind on the way and gave the baby a completely different name, one not even on the consideration list! The parents are still married - if my husband had done that, he'd be under the patio.

My grandad did that!!

My parents had agreed my name (and cards announcing my arrival with said name had been sent!). However DF went to register my birth officially but on the way met his friends for a lunchtime drink ‘to wet the baby’s head’. When said (male) friends discovered my name they told my DF he couldn’t possibly use that as it sounded like a ‘piano in a run down bar’. DF agreed I needed a new name and I was registered as ‘Elaine’* after his ex girlfriend! It’s almost impossible to change apparently despite M trying!

Needless to say there was no joy in our household growing up!

*not my real name!

In some areas with covid at the moment, births are being registered via appointment on the phone. The birth certificate is then sent by post.

So finding out the procedure in their area is important.

I think it's a terrible shame they can't agree on a name.

There were names DH liked and I didn't..names I liked and he didn't. Those names were discarded and we kept coming up with suggestions until we agreed on one.

It shouldn't be his or her decision.

His family sound ridiculous. I can't imagine getting involved like that. They're essentially trying to bully her. What a relationship she's in! If my brother had a child and really wanted to use a name but his wife didn't I just would stay out of it, as surely any normal person would?

Also, a few people mentioned that there are men who go to register a name and do what they want rather than what they as a couple agreed to. That's ridiculous and I can't believe the women put up with that. I wouldn't be with anyone like that. It's just controlling and manipulative.

I would mention it. I'd also mention that he too can register alone. They brought the subject up. I think that mum might need help - her h sounds like a bully, backed up by his own family.

There have been lots of cases of married men registering the birth with in, doing it alone and then telling their wife when they get back. Some of them even film themselves doing it.

I would be telling the parents that either one of the baby's parents can register the birth.

I think I'd advise her to legally separate before she gives birth. The husband and his family sound like arseholes.

I don't remember any confusion. Children are generally adaptable. Lots of families call their DC by various silly or nicknames. Ironically DH is used to name confusion as MIL and MIL's sibs (six of them!) were mostly called by their middle names by everyone. DH was very determined that we should agree and use a definitive first name.

I always thought babies were assigned a name by the registrar if enough time elapsed and the parents couldn't choose. As in she wants Sophie, he wants Matilda and the registrar says 'pick one or I'll call her Alice'.

In my experience my mother won the argument and my mum's choice is my first name and the one almost everyone calls me. There's one exception - my father's choice of name is my middle name and my father has always called me by my middle name and never uses my first name. I'm over fifty years old and it's not changed. Used to utterly confuse my school and university friends when they first visited.

What's wrong with Gordon?

I asked the registrar this when I registered one of my children (just out of nosiness, we agreed on a name).

She said that if both parents attended and couldn't agree on a name, then their rules stated they were to take the mothers choice. Not sure if this is a local thing or what but that's what she said.

I’m pretty sure you can just register the baby as Baby Boy [Surname] and then change the name within the first 12 months but in my area the council charge £80 for the change.

Family names are pish. What if it's something hideous like Gordon?