Using DS1 middle name for new baby

I think this a bad idea. I have a friend who is one of three (middle child and now in his mid 30s) and is the only one without a middle name, he says this is evidence of how his parents “couldn’t be bothered with him”. That is very likely untrue but i think it flags that if your boys don’t get on naming the youngest after the oldest could be an issue the youngest latches on to (e.g. “you don’t love me - you couldn’t even be bothered too give me my own name!!!!”)

It guess it was a more tangible link that we could think about. Say when people are named after their grandparents or a special family member. They are linked anyway through genetics but it's also nice to have naming link

@wanderlove

My post to you wasn't even about whether I 'liked' the idea of not. It was purely the fact that you consider it to have 'linked' you, when you are siblings who will forever be linked anyway!

@smoothchange
You might not have liked it. I liked it. I'm just providing a counter to all the people that said that the younger sibling would feel second best. I didn't. I liked it so it not necessarily a negative thing.

I don’t like top 20 names at ALL. I feel why label a child with such a bog standard, average heard everywhere name that has lost any appeal or individuality through being heard everywhere.

The irony of this when you're planning to recycle one your first son's names. Individuality?

You're

Your literally sisters. You are already 'linked together'

I definitely wouldn't. You say you really love this name - Well that's great cos you've used it already!

I'd be gutted if I was given a reused name as a younger sibling. There are so, so many great boys names out there, I would definitely use another.

I have both my sisters middle names as my first and middle name. I don't mind, I never minded as a child and saw it quite positively as it linked us all together.

I honestly do not understand why this is being so frowned upon?

What if OP wanted the middle name to be DS1 first name but her husband said no, so she gave it as a middle name thinking she might not have another boy?!

OP pick the name you love.

Did this with ds1 and ds2. Never been an issue with them, they are adults now. Don't see a problem with it at all. Same as you OP, I just loved the name.

@DollyParton2
I don’t like top 20 names at ALL. I feel why label a child with such a bog standard, average heard everywhere name that has lost any appeal or individuality through being heard everywhere.

Wow OP, could you be any more insulting?

I thought no issue with you using the middle name for next baby, but not very 'individual' is it...your own words.

I think it’s a bad idea. I know sisters where this happened, although the first was given a short form middle name of the second sister’s first name. Think for example

Louise Abi Surname and
Abigail Helen Surname

All fine, except as an adult Louise decided she’d never liked her name and would now be known as Abi. So now there are two sisters called Abi and Abigail, and the original Abigail can never go by Abi (as she did when younger) because how fucking weird would that be.

You must be able to think of another name out of the thousands available

DD has just reminded me about her first boyfriend he was called William Harry & his brother was William Jack - they went by their middle names but apparently it was a family tradition that all boys were called William.

My DHs mum did this. 3 sons in this order:

Jonathan David
Daniel Adam Kyle
David (no middle name)

Don't know why there's such inconsistency between their middle names or why the middle child missed the David train 😂

I’ve also not questioned the OPs parenting just her lack of imagination .

There's a girl in DS's class whose family did just that!

DD1 called Alice Emma & DD2 called Emma Alice.

I'm sorry OP but it's just plain weird in my opinion.

It’s sweet that your older boy would like to use his middle name. He sounds sensible enough for you to have conversation to check he is 100% sure. It could make the bond stronger. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy @DollyParton2

I never made a judgment about OP parenting so don't bother mixing my comment with someone else's to try and jump to that.

I said 'your child may think your couldn't be arsed though'

Nothing to do with their start in life

smoothchange and WellityWellityWellity: daisypond said DS2 would think she "couldn't be arsed... hardly a great start in life". You'd think we were thinking about raising a chid in intense poverty, or not feeding/clothing or caring for them properly. Nope, it's because she'd like to give him a name she really loves and wants to take centre stage for him, currently only being used as a rarely ever heard middle name. This IS a judgement on her parenting. It's ludicrous!!!

Very worrying actually re. peoples standards of importance in caring for a child.

Just a small word of warning. I once worked with a man whose parents had done exactly what you are proposing e.g. His brother was called Peter Matthew and his name was Matthew Peter.

He hated the his first name and would have liked to go by his middle name but couldn't because it was his brothers name.

Consequently he ended up changing his name entirely as he didn't want to remain Matthew but he had no other options. Had he had a different middle name he would have simply gone by that so it might be worth adding an extra name just incase.

Sorry to disappoint those who want to present OP as a terrible mother in doing this

Literally not a single assed person has made a judgment on OP parenting.

So no, my children will not share the same names.

Your first child is X Y and you are going to call your second Y X

Of course they will share the same names

I don't think anyone tried to present the OP as a terrible mother . Wha absolutely ridiculous and inflammatory hyperbole!

It was what her second DS might think. You felt the opposite (hurrah), but not everyone will feel the same way. Do you see how that works? Not everyone is you.

Anyway, that all being said, of course now the op has said she's going for it, she probably doesn't need any more negative opinions! That is the law of baby names! Once it's decided, beaks out, (unless it's like Adolf or something terrible).

All the best op! It really isn't a big deal at all, and IRL I wouldn't say a thing about it to your face or otherwise.