How to agree on a name without committing murder?

Whose last name will the baby have?

I think there are quite a few men who just don’t care all that much, as long as they don’t hate it.

I’d just make a list and stick it on the fridge and by the time you are due have a short list of 3-5. And pick when you see her. Clara is nice!

Personally never had this problem, I knew what I was calling a girl, DH never had any say, luckily he liked it haha. The rest were really easy too. DH only vetoed 1 name. All the names we have meaning to us. DD1 names after both our grandmothers, DD2 a name my grandmother always loved and I always loved too, her middle name is Gaelic for both our mothers first name, and DD3 we had a name my dad always wanted to call a little girl but my mother never let him, it’s a name we both liked though not as a first, I suggested I liked 2 names that went well with it, he liked them too so we went with the one that flowed the best. We promised my dad he could have the name he always wanted, either male or female version, my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the same time I found out I was pregnant so it was sort of in his memory. Her other middle name is related to something that happened while I was pregnant.

Stop asking him, pick your favourite names and casually start referring to the baby by these names over the next few weeks and see what you like and if he comments on them. If he says he dosnt like any say tough unless you come up with anything better these are my choices get use to them.

DH and I had the same problem, more than once I snapped "well we have to call him something!!"

The first name we have decided on for our baby boy is the only boy's name we agree on, so hopefully it suits him when he's born (middle names we're sticking with my family naming tradition, otherwise that would have been two names to think of, or no middle name at all haha)

DH and I both wrote lists of names and then swapped and crossed out vetoes (and goodness he vetoed my choice of Cicero. Bloody hormones!)
We were both teachers so had a "no children we'd taught and had bad associations with" rule. That made it tough!
It's a shame he won't engage with the process, but you have plenty of time. And if you are still no closer when baby arrives, you call them whatever you like!

My partner was just like this OP- hated all my names- but the last few weeks now I'm almost full term he's taking it more seriously and suggested one of my top 5 as if it were his idea so there's hope! I think men find it harder to visualise an actual human who needs a name til later on

I didn't get any sense out of my DP until DD was born. Had my heart set on Freya, but she didn't look like a Freya. We agreed a name in about 5 minutes.

Don't fret about it now. Think about the names you like.

More important to decide - whose surname will you give her ? DD has mine and that was agreed by us both very early on.

Baby name tinder? That’s what my husband and I called the baby name - find it together app. Super easy and low key as you can swipe yes or no on names when ever you get 5 minutes to get a short list you both like.

Then you have a place to discuss from.

Given his attitude I would tell him that unless he properly participates in choosing, then you will choose the name and he can put up with it.

Oh dear! I didn't see your last post that's not very nice of him

You can then make a list of all the names you like

we take ages chosing names!!

My advice would be for you both to know both your "rules". One of my rules is no names that exist in the family. Other is that if one says "no" it's no!

Then go through a list. You can find on online. And go through every single one to make a smaller list that you both like!

Oh well, since you call him DP and not DH, he can't register the birth without you, so if he continues being a twat about the name, you can just go and register whatever name you like.

Hope you're giving baby your own surname.

I love Anya and Clara!

Frustrating. He can’t expect power of veto while not contributing much himself. Ask him to sit and write a proper list With a decent number of options to optimise chances of getting one you both agree on, give it proper attention, you write yours, cross reference and see if there are any matches or compromises to be made.

Have you got a while to go before the baby arrives? If it’s too soon, he might not be engaged in thinking about names yet.