Engaged - so who's last name to give?

Your name always if you aren't married.

If you plan to change your name and baby's name after getting married then just give baby your partner's name now. It will be such a faff changing it.

Your name till you are married.

There was a thread on here recently from someone who was regretting giving her dc her dh’s name, because despite being engaged for ten years he was still putting off getting married and coming up with excuses. She was sick of having a different name from her kids when she had told her OH right from the start that this was important to her. He had persuaded her that she might as well use his name, as soon they’d be married anyway. Then ten years passed.

She was gradually realising that he no longer had any intention of marrying her, because he had everything he wanted and there would always be higher family priorities for their money now. She was very bitter about it.

With TTC it can be quick and it can be years! I know people who would have to overcome lots of health issues/obstacles to conceive, conceive straight away! Whereas myself no issues and unexplained infertility took 2.5 years.
I don't really understand the point of the original post tbh as if you feel that strongly about having the same surname to your child then give the child your surname. It's no one else's business and what you want to do. If your other half is happy with that then it's sorted.
We preferred to get married, share the same family name and then have a child. Everyone is different. But have a look at the legal side of things and rights prior to having a child if you aren't married.

Whose

Another agreeing you should stick to your plan of your name until marriage. Your original reasoning is sound and convention is baby gets mum's name, it's just also convention that she's married and has the same name as the father.

I eloped, no one got upset though some questioned our choices. We were planning to have a big party on the one year anniversary, but we were dealing with our honeymoon baby at that point so pushed it back...we eventually had an anniversary party at the pub for our 10th

Name changing can be a pain (I changed my entire name soon after marriage), but the vast majority of places do not care as long as your info lines up so just do it as things come up. I had a passport in the 'wrong' name for over a decade that I used as ID, even at banks. The only people who cared was the Home Office (and they didn't actually care, they'd use paperwork in other names with appropriate evidence, they just wouldn't refer to me by any other name than what was on my passport).

Why don’t you have a quick registry office wedding and then a big ‘wedding’ later if that’s what you and your OH want?

If that’s not and option, give the baby your name, 100%

To echo PP above, the hospital when you give birth refer to the baby as “baby Mother’s Surname” regardless as they need to match the two of you together. And if you get married after birth, you do have to reregister the baby as per the link. For me, I was married when I had the baby, but I hadn’t chosen to change my name on marriage. We gave DD both our surnames double barrelled, and it has never caused any trouble. Also, you can go by a different name socially without changing all the background ID if you really want. I.e. as a family we are happy being known socially as the double-barrellled name (personally I take issue with people choosing to rename me as just Mrs DH Name, because I have never expressed a willingness to be renamed as this), but all my life and professional documents as in my “true” name.

You know that changing your name is not obligatory, right? Have you given it more thought than "it's tradition" ?

It's baffling that you're more comfortable putting yourself in a position to need hospital/medical care during a pandemic than to prioritise marrying and put yourself through the medical stuff once the provision has improved and no longer risks your wellbeing needlessly.

There's plenty of room between a big wedding and "eloping". Lots of people have had very nice, if necessarily small, weddings recently. Family and friends who haven't made the cut have understood.

Just wait till you are married, then you won’t have all this hassle

Delay conception until after the wedding? Just have a small registry office service soon & a blessing/reception party later.
Or
Double barrel then, for everyday things, drop your surname to a middle name when you get married. If the wedding doesn't happen, baby still has your name within the surname. When child starts school you can tell them that child is known as Y, even though birth cert states XY.

ie Samuel Joseph DELILAH221JONES changes to Samuel Joseph Delilah221 JONES

Your name.

Is there a reason you’re TTC now but not getting married until 2022? Would you perhaps have a legal wedding in a registry office now before you get pregnant and then have the big ‘wedding’ in 2022?

Also, 2022 is 12-23 months away. Have you booked and paid deposits? What if it takes you months to get pregnant and you end up pregnant for the wedding? You have no idea what pregnancy will be like for you, perhaps it’ll be lovely or maybe you’ll be unlucky and have HV and the wedding won’t be enjoyable. Just my thoughts on it, but I personally wouldn’t want to take any risks on a day I’m paying thousands for.

I was engaged not married when I had my baby and they automatically used my name on everything at the hospital and doctors until I sent them the birth certificate which showed I had registered with her dad’s name (this was when she was 3mo due to Covid). I didn’t even think about registering her with my name tbh, probably just out of convention and the fact that eventually we will all have the same name.

Apologies, I may be wrong about what happens when you re-register a birth... I didn't know that specific process existed! The form can be found online, which probably tells you what you need to know about that.

Give the baby your name now and then he changes his name when you get married?

I don't think you would need to update your own name on the birth certificate. In fact, I don't think you are actually allowed to.

Completely agree with @SnailortheWhale - why not get married first and have that peace of mind? Then it will be done. Otherwise there will be no end of reasons to delay it... You're pregnant, you have a newborn, you're skint, you have another newborn... And the years roll by.

Your name as you have to re-register the birth after you are married.

I got engaged and gave my child his name as thought it would be easier.

He's then cancelled our wedding and run off with a woman from work.

I would also say don't TTC until married either if you are young and likely to do it next year anyway....otherwise you'll just end up being another MN poster who is still engaged 10 years later with 4 kids

As for when you are in hospital having a baby- my friend who wasn't married when she had her baby - all Of the paperwork automatically referred to the baby having her surname even though when the baby was registered she gave him the dads surname. It wound the dad up so much I'm sure it spurred him on to get the wedding booked in double quick time 🤣