Snobbery to popular names

I think most parents want something different for a name, but notes different their poor child will be teased for it e.g Apple
I think most snobbery arises when we hear the names that are the modern day equivalents of Traceys and Sharons and Terrys eg The hyphenated ones Daisy-Mae, Jayden, Bayden, Kaydon etc etc

I don't think it's snobby to not want to call your child a name because it's overly popular. I have a very unusual first name and love the fact that I've never met anyone with the same name. There are so many lovely names out there, it just seems really unimaginative for everyone to call their daughter Amelia / Ava /Evie / Isla etc. How dull to have three or four people with same name in your class / workplace / social circle, whatever happened to variety? You'd end up being Jack H / Jack B / Big Jack etc. They may be nice names, but the more people have them, the more you associate those names with people you know. Emma's a nice sounding name, but I'd never name my daughter that because I know at least four of them and for me, that name is very much associated with those people. I also think that very popular, trendy names tend to date very badly. So yes, Alfie and Arlo may sound cute now, but in the 1980s Craig, Paul and Scott were in favour - these names are incredibly unpopular now. I think snobbery would be disliking a name because it sounded 'common' - but even then, if you've asked for people's opinions about a particular name, you can't have a go at them when they give you their opinion. You don't have to agree with it, but it is their opinion and they're entitled to it. Ultimately, if you really love a name and you're not bothered about it being popular then great, go for it. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, and I honestly don't understand why it bothers you so much.

I was going to call my 11 year old Amelia but so many other people I knew named their baby Amelia the same year so I didn't, if they hadn't been so close to home I would have used it - still love the name.

My daughter is 27 and called Esme ...I absolutely fell in love with her name and we have never met another Esme ...I know it is popular now..so I did actually have good taste!!

When choosing a name, I wanted one that was uncommon. My brother grew up being known as Samuel F. He signed his Mother's Day cards with his surname initial - which is quite funny, but not what I wanted for my children. Similarly, in University, a friend of mine was known as Black Daniel because there were four in our halls with the same name. This was again not something I wanted for my children.

DH and I both loved the name Oliver, but it is the most popular boys name in the UK. It wasn't snobbery that stopped us using it, it was the fact that we didn't want our son to be distinguished by a characteristic or initial (Oliver K or Little Oliver, for example).

*not their real names

The irony of this thread...

I think OP has a different understanding of the word snobbery, not liking something and expressing an opinion on that is not snobbery. Neither is stating a fact.

I wouldn't give my children a name that is in the top 100 for a variety of reasons, but snobbery is definitely not one of them. If I was considering a name I would want to know whether it was overly popular and I wouldn't think people were being snobby in pointing that out.

For me it’s more about avoiding names that will obviously date. No one wants their child to be the equivalent of Gemma/Tiffany/Lisa/Joanne of the 1980s (there are much worse examples) but for example names like Victoria, Rebecca and Emma were also top 10 then but they don’t date. It’s hard to pinpoint if a name will date but I think if it’s biblical or used by royalty you’re probably ok, if it’s something that’s shot up in popularity and is new then it will probably be deeply unfashionable in 20+ years time. If you’re ok with that, fine - I don’t think it’s snobbery, just people warning you that it’s a risk. I certainly don’t care if there are 4 other children with their name but I do care if it’s going to be an awfully unpopular and unfashionable name in 40 years.

Overexposure to a name can take the shine off it. You get so used to hearing a name, it starts to sound boring.

Take Emily, for instance. It's a lovely, classic name that will never entirely go away but everyone knows girls called Emily and as such, nobody who knows anyone under the age of 30 ever comes to the name with 'fresh' ears.

Back in the '70s you were more likely to come across an Emma than an Emily. As Emma became very popular, people started looking for a name which was as nice as Emma but sounded a bit fresher. So Emily became popular. When people started to tire a little of Emily and wanted a similarly-lovely-but-fresher version, Amelia became popular, and so on.

At some point someone will say 'Emma, that's such a pretty name and you don't hear it much these days...' and the cycle will begin again.

People who post on baby name boards are either first-time parents out of touch with current trends, still thinking names like Emma and Rachel are super-popular and wondering if Emily might be a fresher alternative, or they are people with an active interest in names.

Letting a first-time parent know that Emily and Amelia are popular names is a kindness, if they thought they were being original.

If a mother-to-be is absolutely set on having a daughter named Amelia and has wanted to name her baby that since the dawn of time, it wouldn't put her off. If she and her partner were considering both Amelia and Adelaide, they might decide that Adelaide is slightly more original, despite also loving Amelia.

It's not snobbery to avoid a name that has been used so much that people can no longer see how lovely it is and just think "oh, another Sarah, how unimaginative".

(Interestingly, a Sarah born today is likely to be the only one in her class.)

As for try-hard... one of my favourite names is Cordelia (my 'fresh alternative' to Amelia, perhaps). I've seen this name dismissed as 'pretentious' and 'try-hard'. I find that strange, as it has exactly the same rhythm as Amelia and Olivia! And why is Octavia 'posh' when Olivia isn't...?

It's a minefield.

if you like a name and it’s very different then cool, but I have seen a few times on here a poster mention a name they like that seems to be pretty popular. They end up getting influenced by others to change it because people don’t approve as it’s to popular. It’s not something I would do because I couldn’t careless if people think the name I chose is to popular, but I just think if you really like that name, don’t be put off by the popularity

There are so many names in the world, that if you don’t want to choose a popular name, you don’t need to.

If you don’t care, then presumably somebody telling you it’s popular won’t stop you.

We liked Amy/Amelia for ages, but when I was pregnant it suddenly shot up to the no 1 spot. As it happens, I had a boy, but if we had had a girl I would have chosen something else I liked - every second child I met was called Amelia, half of my friends’ babies were Amelia/Ava/Ada/Amy, and honestly I wanted something a little bit different. Not Younique, just not literally the same name as all my friends had picked. Or we could just all stick with “Baby Smith”, and have done with it.

if you like a name and it’s very different then cool, but I have seen a few times on here a poster mention a name they like that seems to be pretty popular. They end up getting influenced by others to change it because people don’t approve as it’s to popular. It’s not something I would do because I couldn’t careless if people think the name I chose is to popular, but I just think if you really like that name, don’t be put off by the popularity

As ZoyaTheDestroyer said, presumably people only post if they are unsure, and they are asking what people think. If they have chosen ' the name', then it won't matter to them that is has been used a lot recently, or that Barry from Milton Keynes doesn't like it. Sometimes people aren't aware of the issues that might arise with a name, and do change their minds due to the answers, but isn't that a good thing ? To find out before you give a person a name that you hadn't realised people felt a certain way about ? If other people thinking {whatever} about a name doesn't bother you, then no harm done, if it does, then you can think of a different name, but you are going in to that decision, informed.

Glad you've accepted you were using 'snobbery' wrong.

But instead you would get lots of responses along the lines of you can't do that to your child - poor kid, they will be bullied - change your own name to Balthazar and live with it if you like it so much.... etc.

I didn’t say it was ok did I ? The whole point of the original post was to say I have noticed a lot of negativity more when someone posts up a popular name they want to call their child. Balthazar is an unusual name, so I highly doubt you would get the same reaction from various posters than you would posting a popular name up. You get a lot more personal comments than boring and too popular. Try hard, desperate to be special, I'm not sure it would fall under chavvy bit certainly comments about lower classes wanting special names so they feel more important.

I actually think "trying too hard" is a snobbery comment. "Gosh, the working classes / new middle classes, they're so TRY HARD, trying to make their average WC child who'll never be special appear special."

Bit why is it ok to be negative and influence people's decisions about Balthazar but not Alfie?

Ok, maybe a better way to describe my original post would be “negativity” on popular names ? I think that’s what I’m trying to get at bit that's the ENTIRE purpose of that boardm. For people to give positives and negatives. Some people will prefer Alfred, some will love Alfie, some will hate it. Same for Balthazar or Hdieicir or Like.

Personally I love Sophia but hate Sophie but that's cos of personal associations

As an oldie I'm a bit meh about naming people shortened names. Alfie - short for Alfred, I think. People were called Alfred in the past and, imv, depending on their temperament had their names shortened, changed or not.
So James, was James at home, Jamie maybe, but this might be changed as they aged, and as I'm in Scotland Jimmy or Jim mostly. The diminutive was a sign that you knew the person well, or they were a friend. I think Jimmy was given to more fun people. Certainly the toffs were James always. So going straight for a diminutive seems an attempt to wish for your child a personality to suit the name, rather than how it was in the past when the name was changed by friends and acquaintances to match the personality.

What you are still missing is that people only post here if they are undecided and want input. People who don't care about popularity don't post here. If a person is put off a name because a stranger on the internet thinks it's too popular then they didn't really love it in the first place.

don’t be put off by the popularity. You don’t need to choose a unique name for the sake of it
Very very few people have a unique name. There's literally thousands of choices between top 10 popularity and making your own name up.

That for me is snobbery. Judging a parent for choosing a particular name. It's oy snobbery if they're assuming you are socially inferior. Thinking your a bit boring doesn't count

I think you are slightly mis-using the word snobbery. Someone saying a name is silly is just their opinion.
I did, however, see the comment about it being controlling to use the name Alfie and thought that quite odd. I don't think I've ever heard that said on Mumsnet before. I must be controlling then because my DS has a name I can't shorten! As are all the parents of every one syllable name in existence
Lots of people do find names like Alfie, Archie Albie etc a bit nicknamey and insubstantial though. The baby names threads would be pretty boring if everyone liked every single name!

I know what snobbery means... They are basically saying, why choose that when it’s so popular, how boring etc. This is what I mean by snobbery. Maybe there’s a better word to describe it? I’m not sure.
That's not snobbery. That's people thinking a name that's been used again and again is a but meh. Some of th are beautiful enough to get past that, some in SE people's opinion are too boring and interesting to hear again and again