Baby name regret

55 replies

TinyJJ · 02/01/2021 01:13

Hello
I'm new here and looking for some advice.
I had a little boy just over 3 weeks ago. We couldn't decide on a name whilst pregnant and even whilst I was in hospital waiting for a bed on the labour ward to be induced, we were looking at baby name lists. My other half didn't like any of my suggestions. He had one name he liked which I didn't. With my daughter naming her was easy and we both agreed on a name before she was born.

My son was born and it took us 3 days to name him but even then I wasn't 100% on the name we have chosen. I felt pressured to decide on a name as we were having people asking us 'have we got a name yet' and the names I loved, my other half didn't and I felt like I had no choice but to agree to this name.
Now he's just over 3 weeks old and I'm really struggling with his name. I feel like I can't call him it and it's affecting me bonding with him. When I hear someone say it I cringe and I'm really upset about it all. I've spoken to my other half about it and he isn't keen at all to change his name and keeps saying 'it's a lovely name' and 'that's his name now'. He's worried about telling people his name has been changed whereas I don't care about that as people will forget and what with covid, nobody has properly met him.
The problem is I don't really have a definite name I would want instead. My other half has said what do you want to change it to and I don't know. I like classic, traditional but not common names. Nearly all the names I've suggested my other half has said no to (Albert and Rupert as examples). Since he's been born I really like the name Edward, with nn Ted but I feel like I know my other half will say no. His middle name is fine but is a family name so I don't want this to be used as a first name. I would also be happy to keep his current first name as a middle name so he has two middle names because it's not that I dislike the name, I just feel like it doesn't fit him as his first name. Plus keeping it as a middle name still gives him what he was identified as for 3 weeks.
I look at my son and think I love him so much and he's such a beautiful baby but I really dislike his name and I'm really annoyed with myself and frustrated that I can't get past this. It's consuming me.
What do I do? Do I seriously push to change his name or do I leave it?
Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation and if anyone on here did change their child's name? I'm in the UK.
Thank you

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IamnotwhouthinkIam · 02/01/2021 01:57

There are so many names in the world that it would be sad to settle in one you don't like. However, you need to have an idea of what name you do want (along with your dp).

Agree with this. There is nothing wrong with changing his name at an early stage though, if you really dislike it - it isn't that big of a deal (Is he even formally registered yet?). Leaving his "old name" as an extra middle name is a nice idea too.

But if your DP loves the name he's chosen, can you say what you don't like about it (ie. is it too old fashioned, too popular, don't like the sound etc?) Or can you tell us your daughters name, then it would be easier to make suggestions that might help (as we would know what your style is/ what would "fit") ; as Edward, Rupert and Albert are fairly different styles imo - although they have a theme of being traditional and are two syllable (I would count Edward as a true classic, Rupert as more quirky, and Albert as a retro/vintage name).

True classics like Edward (top 100 for the last century) are James, Alexander, William, Thomas, George and Charles.

Other well known or classic 2 syllable names you might like (some are more quirky or retro and a couple should be 3 syllable but are often pronounced as 2): Samuel, Henry/Harry, Michael, Jacob, Alfred, Frederick, Adam, Rowan, Isaac, Rufus, Joseph, Lucas, Marcus, Robert, Matthew, Owen, Oscar, Felix, Evan, Maxim, Leo.

Uggmugg · 02/01/2021 01:29

I know someone with twins who changed their names a fortnight after she'd named them from very traditional Irish to more street names. She kept the Irish names as middle names. It wasn't weird. It's a big pressure. I also know loads of people who never get called by their first name but by their second name.

What was the original name? Is it a family name?

Februaryisnear · 02/01/2021 01:25

This happened to my friend with her little boys name, she says it’s because it was not her first choice (DH vetoed her first choice)

However 3 years down the line she did not go ahead and change his name, he soon grew into the name and says now there is not another name that would suit him more (even her first choice)

boydoggies · 02/01/2021 01:23

There are so many names in the world that it would be sad to settle in one you don't like. However, you need to have an idea of what name you do want (along with your dp). Have you explained to him that it's causing upset with bonding?
Congratulations.

LouiseTrees · 02/01/2021 01:21

What about Theodore with nickname ted? What is his current first name though?

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