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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Using same name as friend

33 replies

Poppyolive90 · 14/12/2020 22:28

Hi,

I’m not pregnant yet but hopefully one day soon. We’ve had names picked out for years as we’ve been together a very long time. One of my partners friend’s wives has had a baby this week and they have named him our chosen boys name. I had a bit of a cry due to the fact that I’m not even pregnant yet and I feel like they’ve used the name and we can’t now. I know no one owns a name and I’m not even pregnant yet but I’m feeling quite fraught about the fact we’re still trying which I think is adding to my feelings.

I’d say it’s an unusual name, but one everyone has heard before. It’s top 500 so not ‘unique’ but just not in fashion at the moment. I’m worried that if we ever are lucky enough to have a baby it will look like we just copied them if we use that name.

Rambling post, sorry I just feel very emotional at the moment. I think I just want to know what you would think if someone in the same friendship group used the same name? My husband sees him pretty often, he’s definitely in his best friend group. But as a couple we don’t see them so often.

TLDR; would you use the same name as someone in your friendship group had used or would you think it was weird if someone did that?

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Original poster
Poppyolive90 · 14/12/2020 22:53

Thank you Britannah. I felt a bit like I was winded. Yet another month of disappointment and then obviously I really am happy for them and felt so awful for being selfish and crying (obviously just to DH!!) but I feel like when is it my turn and them using the name we had picked made it that bit more painful.

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calimommy · 14/12/2020 22:52

For YEARS I had 4 names picked out for girls (I had this notion I would end up with a house full of girls) and I repeatedly told family and friends what they were with the hope no one would use them. I had 3 boys 😉☺️ and now I am pregnant again, and very surprised that it is a girl, but we have completely gone off the names. I think we wore them out. Incidentally with each previous pregnancy my list of names changed -we felt differently about the names each time we were expecting. You may never have a boy, you may take years to conceive, etc there are so many variables. If you end up
lucky enough to have a baby boy I would still use the name you have picked -they are JUST names at the end of the day, millions of people have the same names all the time.

JanewaysBun · 14/12/2020 22:51

Seeing as you have a connection I would totally go for it and maybe say it's one of your GPs middle names.

Have you spoken to the friend since the baby was born? When you do a casual "such a lovely name, that's actually the name we have chosen should we ever have a boy- maybe they will be good friends". If they are rude then that makes thrm the CF.

Fwiw my DD's name is like 800 on the charts, I announced name on FB and one of my (tbh not close) friends said exactly that. She's due any day with her DD and the only thought that entered my mind when she said it was "im glad she knows it's the best ever girl name haha"

Britannah · 14/12/2020 22:43

Sorry you are feeling this way OP 💜 Firstly, I really really would try not to worry too much at this stage - appreciate that’s easier said than done but you may go into have little girls or if you have a son decide he doesn’t suit that name/actually prefer another name which is very common. However if you have a little boy and still have your heart set on this name then just use it. I personally chose not to select any of the names our close friends have BUT to be fair non of them have picked names I have fancied so fairly easy for me. If they did and I genuinely couldn’t think of another name I liked more I would just go for it. They will understand I’m sure and at the end of the day nobody owns a name. Best of luck and sending lots of baby dust your way xx

Original poster
Poppyolive90 · 14/12/2020 22:42

Sun It’s been our imaginary future child’s name for a good few years now. And hopefully it won’t be too long before we have our own child Sad

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Original poster
Poppyolive90 · 14/12/2020 22:41

It’s a name we both agreed on (basically the only one!) but it’s important to me as it’s a welsh name and my
Maiden name was welsh and my grandparents on my fathers side were welsh and I want to honour them in some way. I do feel like we could get away with the family name line due to that?

Only thing is we aren’t in wales Grin so the name does stand out a bit in the South East!

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SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 14/12/2020 22:40

By the time you are pregnant or any baby arrives you may prefer a completely different name though, surely?

Personally I think it would be strange to use the same name, esp if quite uncommon at the moment but agree noone owns a name

JanewaysBun · 14/12/2020 22:34

Hmmmm
I'm not sure, is it more your choice than DH's? If it is I would just go with it as less weird if dh goes along with your name vs picks the name himself iyswim?

Is it like Robert? If sonylu could always lie and say it's a family name Blush

I wouldn't cut a name I loved if it was important to me esp as id be giving it up for someone I personally wasn't friends with iyswim

Anyway blokes are less worried about this stuff tbh. Yoir DH will probably say the name and his mate will have forgotten it by next week