Baby surname - advice needed

Also PP is completely wrong, maintenance is nothing to be with being named on a birth certificate (or not)

Please give your baby your surname. As PP has said, travelling with your child if he has a different name is difficult enough but you will also become 'Mrs father's surname' regularly. My son has my name and so will any future children.

He's abusive and your relationship needs to be over regardless so definitely go alone and give your name. He can apply to be added later if he wants but he won't be able to change the surname

If he hasn't married you then why would you give the child a name different to your own. If he's threatening to flounce over this then he likely will over something else - he sounds like a right charmer(!). Go and register on your own. Give the child your name. Let him walk off. Incidentally, he will not be able to get the baby taken off you and he is very unlikely to get any meaningful custody rights to a very young infant such as would allow him to see baby 'whenever he wants' when mum is around and able to provide care. Especially if you are breastfeeding he won't get any real access at all.

You'd be better off single than with this abusive person. You most likely want to try and make it work especially as you have just had baby but it's unlikely that you can make him reasonable or respectful of you,

OP, it sounds as if you and your baby will be much happier and safer without this nasty man in your lives. Register the birth without him, give baby your surname, let him leave, and claim child maintenance.

No court would separate a newborn from its mother, btw, so don't worry about that.

He sounds abusive and I advise you to talk to your health visitor about the situation, call your local women's aid or the national DV helpline for advice and support.

Register the baby on your own with your name.

Then ditch the abusive partner

Interesting! I wish I would of thought harder about giving DS his dads surname. Zee zee mills is speaking about this currently on her instagram and she makes some clear and harsh points!

Do you usually travel? Because it’s rather embarrassing when the officers in the airport are questioning you because you and your child don’t have the same surname.

Although if the mans surname would be needed to claim CSA it’s a tricky one!

I would book it without telling him, use your surname and not put him on BC

Protect Yourself and your son.

Oh and also - block him. If he continues to harass you, go to the police. They will warn him off contacting you and tell him to get a solicitor to deal with it.

‘Make things difficult’? Well - he can’t. He can go to court to get access, the end. He CAN be prevented from harassing you. He CAN’T take the baby when he feels like and going to court is only going to backfire for him big time if he thinks he’ll get to dictate. More likely he’ll find himself put on the spot himself!

But please, first register your baby without him, then te him to keep away.

Please please please do not register the baby with him there, do not even tell him until it’s done.

You are saving a WORLD of trouble for yourself by giving the baby your name. Great.

If he isn’t on the certificate, he has no parental rights. He can ok go to court to get them if he is serious about them, but don’t hand an abusive man rights relating to you and your child by voluntarily putting him on.

Please please book it without telling him and just get it done!

To be fair will he be able to go at the moment with Covid - may only be allowed just one person?
Use your name xx

Go without him, give him your name and be glad he's out of your life. Not being on the birth certificate will limit what he can do anyway

Go without him, use your name, don't name him!