Baby’s surname when you’ve kept your maiden name

My husband has a double barrelled surname, I kept my double barrelled surname when we married, our daughter has half of each of our surname double barrelled- so we went with option 3, all 3 of us have separate names and it works just fine for us!

@PlantPotting thank you

@S00LA just wanted to say I love your post too
Perfect

I kept my name. DH and DC have his name. It has never been an issue.

Option 4 - change your surname to DH and all have the same name 🤷‍♀️

Wtf, why should she do that?

I did DH’s surname with mine as a middle which I’m happy with although obviously I realise that the fact that we did it that way round rather than his as a middle is because of ingrained misogyny.

I have to say though for me the issue was never handing down my name it was more disbelief that some women are expected to change the name they have grown up with and been known as and established a career with etc etc. For some people they don’t like the idea of not sharing a name with their DC. In this case, double barrelled is probably the way to go although I’m not a fan of the hyphen personally.

I did first name, my surname as a middle name, his surname. We did it that way because we both like DH’s surname better (it’s a good name).

If it had been the other way round, we would have chosen mine (although DH’s parents would have had a fit! But sod them!)

P.s I also think Smith-Jones / Jones-Smith is fine

My siblings and I all took our mums name. Parents are still together. Never caused any problems and doesn't to this day.

I teach a lot of pupils with double barrelled names (usually no hyphen) - a couple per class.

@S00LA I think I'm a little bit in love with you.

OP, we double-barrelled. I was earnestly told that this would be a huge hassle by people who explained that they couldn't possibly do it so just did some patriarchy instead, but I've yet to work out what on earth they were going on about.

Should add, if both names had been an option I would have gone with this but our surnames sound utterly ridiculous together!

We did option 2. The only disadvantage is that I need to take a copy of the kids birth certificates when we fly to show I am the mum. It's no big deal at all.

Baby has your surname. Your DH could take your name.

I would do it double barrelled as long as it sounds ok :)

I didn't change my name when I married 25 + years ago - didn't occur to me. But I did give my children dh's surname. We were talking about this recently and both of us wondered why we automatically assumed his name rather than mine. If I were having children now I suspect they'd get my name with both of our blessings. DH couldn't give a curse about his surname - other than it is the one he has so there it is. I did save the three wristbands from when I gave birth though - they were each Baby Pallisers for the couple of days in hospital.

Mine is also a cooler name. I think my sister slightly regrets changing hers.

We merged our names into a new one for the kids. Works really well. Don't know why more people don't do it. If me and OH could be bothered we might have changed our names to the new one but we are lazy.

My son has both our surnames.
No hyphen.
His first, mine second. It flows better that way.
His middle name is a traditional surname.
Both his surnames are traditional first names, one of which is traditionally a female name.
He’s 3 and so far no issues.

I think all children should be called after their mother for lots of practical reasons, but i accept that not everyone will agree with me.

Why thank you @BeMorePacific 😀

I've kept my name but my DC have DH's surname. I gave in with the DC because he and especially his family were against me keeping my name.. I really regret giving in now and wish I'd persuaded him to give them my name too.

@S00LA 100%. Love your post!!

Her name is weird and embarrassing and she is desperate to change it, even though her father and none of her brothers, uncles and make cousins feel the same way
My uncle (my generation) wanted to change his but my grandfather went on and on and on about it and my uncle gave in.
My brother married into a culture where nobody changes their name and his DCs have both names, if they hate our name they can use their mum's.
My dad was born in 1939 and there are no other men or boys in the family (well, I have two male cousins under 25, yet to see what they decide)
So apart from the fact that my uncle could have pushed harder, all the men are getting rid of our family name too (some admittedly by having only girls)

My DC have option 2 (my surname DH's surname) and pretty much everyone assumes my surname is another middle name and refers to them as Kid DH's surname. It drives me bonkers! So now I write My surname-DH's surname. You can add and remove hyphens at will, you don't need to do a deed poll or anything.

Or double-barrel and all have the same name?

We did option 4 and merged our surnames together to create a new surname.