Baby’s surname when you’ve kept your maiden name

We're in this situation and I think we're having my name as a second middle name, so for example: Mary Jane Smith Jones

We thought about hyphenating but I actually originally hyphenated my name when we got married but didn't like it so changed it back! It doesn't really "go" and I think if I don't want to live with it my child shouldn't have to!

I double barrelled my name-his name. In laws were horrified but we explained it isn’t a problem as in our family we’re all on first name terms...

We've both kept our last names after marriage. DD has a double-barrelled surname. It's not been a problem and i don't think anybody really cares. Just had to jump through some hoops to get her a German passport (dual citizenship) because the naming laws aren't compatible with each other.

Option 3 - really should have done it without the hyphen. As my lastname is Spanish in origin we get away with it. My DP's lastname is extremely common which is the main reason I did it. DP actually wants to change his name so it is the same as our DC for that reason.

I put my surname as my child’s middle name and then he has my husband’s surname. I really didn’t want to double barrel and my husband’s surname went better with the name we chose. I also felt that nobody would question if he was my son due to so many mothers having different surnames to their kids, but have found at work that when a child has a different surname to their father it’s more of an issue for medical appointments etc as we then have to check parental responsibility....something we never do if a woman brings a child in with a different surname to her own

@S00LA is spot on.

When in doubt use the mother's name. Could also use Jones as a middle name and Smith as the surname but doubliing up with or without a hyphen is fine.

I was told by so many people that it was "illegal" to keep my own name including people in banks, building societies and company payroll that I should have pretty a t-shirt saying "Its my name, deal with it".

My fiancé and I have just had a baby. We are both divorced and I reverted back to my family name. Baby daughter is DB: his surname-my surname.

When we marry my fiancé will also DB so we are the same.

My other kids from my first marriage have their dad's last name but I'm more than happy to pretend that marriage didn't happen!

We went for option 3 plus...double barrel with hyphen but DH has done it too so we all have the same double barrelled surname.

Married, kept own names, had kids, wanted to all have same name, DH took my name

I did 2

"my surname is my father's anyway"
🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Yeah I see that 👍
It never hurts to explain yourself/share your thoughts without being unpleasant though!

No. It’s your surname. It has been from the minute it was given to you. Why do so many women think they can only be defined by a man?

I just meant it was important to him as he didn't get to have the amazing experiences I did and the name meant a lot to him and nothing to me 😊

It's a personal choice and one we are all happy with. I didn't see pregnancy as a chore and besides my surname is my father's anyway so 🤷!

She’s the only person to ever have heard my heart from the inside.

DD has DH’s surname and my surname as a middle name. Works well for us.

Yeah it's only fair that you do all the physical work and take all the risks with your health and changes to your body.. and then don't share a surname with your child 🙄

Also she has two half sisters and I thought it was nice for her to have that connection with them 🤷

My DD has my partner's surname because as her mother I felt I had all these amazing connections with her and got to carry her and birth her and feed her etc. and it just felt only fair!

We gave DD her own surname. Absolutely no reason why children have to take either parental surname.

It does seem most women choose the mans surname - the patriarchy is the system we use in this society.

I feel it a bit strange as women are generally (pretty much always) the main care-giver to dc. I would prefer a dc of mine to have my name as they hang out with me the most and I do most of the work re child rearing.

My maiden name is my DM maiden name (we are not originally British) and as my DF wasn't in my life very much it seems appropriate.

I guess some unmarried women feel that the man is more likely to stick around and help raise/pay child maintenance if the dc have the fathers name? That's the only reason I can see because having dc openly out of wedlock is a fairly new thing (that's not disapproval - I don't really believe in marriage).

I have my dad's surname, parents are unmarried however but been together for 30 ish years, I usually am a massive advocate for dad's name if together regardless of status but seeing as you married into a partnership I think double barrel is naturally more appropriate in this situation and makes it easier as a whole

DC have my DP's surname and when we marry, I will take her surname as well. We are both women. I grew up not sharing surnames with siblings as my parents each had a child with their ex partner's surname when they had me and then I had my mother's surname. So a total of 4 different surnames has just made me want a family unit where everyone has the same surname. My surname is the Danish equivalent of Smith/Jones/Johnson (one of the most popular names). I think it's fair that the kids got my genes but my DP's surname

My DC are both early 20s and have no issues with their double-barrelled name. It makes them unique as it's a doubler of names from very different cultures and reflects their ethnic backgrounds.

It didn't occur to me to do anything else. I didn't change my name when we married, he didn't change his and there was no other way to compromise. It's my name first just because it flowed better.

My dc have dh's surname and my name is double-barrelled (in the country we live in and dh is from you are not allowed to double-barrel children's names, or even both partners' ). Dh actually offered, to take my name but I said no for stately homes reasons, plus my surname wasn't particularly nice and I've never liked it that much. I am OK with the way we did things, but I still find it a bit odd that my children are without my surname entirely and really dislike being called by dh's name only by teachers etc. (It doesn't help that the name is quite an unusual one here and gets mangled, as does my part of the double barrel for being foreign... sigh). I'd double-barrel IIWY.