Hurt by comments on name , should I change ?

I didn't tell anyone the names of my DC as their opinions were irrelevant. Anyway when DC2 was born we couldn't decide on a name, we eventually did and I called my Mum to let her know... her response 'Oh wow, that's the name of so and so's dead cat'

Not sure how to respond to her now?

'Wow, that was rude. Just to warn you then, I won't be able to get past any nasty comments like that spoiling the first couple of days with the babies so don't be surprised if we ask you to wait a little while to meet them until I'm feeling up to it.'

That will make her think!

I love Stella and its meaning and I'm proper posh OP

Not RTFT.
Stella is a nice name. I'm not keen on it shortened to Stell, but it's not too bad.
I had a dear friend called Stella, and it's not done Ms McCartney, the reassuringly expensive drink or the colour supplement from a Sunday paper any harm.
Use it. Your DM got to name her own DC.

Stella is a lovely name.
If your baby looks like a Stella to you then name what you feel is right for her, don't worry your mum won't even remember in a few months she ll be so in love with her GC.
(I would however have a conversation with her about minding her own business and keeping any strong opinions on your life choices going forward to her self if she is unable to be supportive!)

I like it. It is not at all a name that would have appeared on my list, but that is because I have a name style different to yours.
I think it sounds lovely, very different to all the Ellas etc too.

Tell your mum - Oh mum it is OK, as you don't like it, we have decided to change it, we are going with Hepzibah, much more unusual and original. Be really serious about Hepzibah, fake a nursery pick with it on the wall, ask her if she thinks Hepzibah goes better with Anna as a middle name or Jezebel?

Then when baby is born, she will be relieved that she has such a lovely name as Stella!

I hate my niece's name, didn't say anything, can't imagine her being anything else now. They will get used to it.

Your mum named her babies. It’s your turn to name your babies.

Stella is great.

I really like the name but immediately ruled it out because of the beer and the fact it’s known as wife beater. If you like it then use it, you will not find a name that is universally liked and it’s your decision to make.

Your gut instinct was not to tell anyone, you've been proven that it was for good reason!

Go with Stella it's a lovely name.

I would say that it would be good to mention to your mum that it has upset you and why, as you say it's out of character for her so she will more than likely just apologise and will have had no idea the feelings it has hurt.
Remind her how much you need her support right now and how important she is to you.

Also if you DONT now choose Stella and you regret it you'll secretly be quietly seething at your mum every now and then, and that's not good for your relationship with your mum.

Go with the name and listen to your instincts

OP Stella is beautiful.

My MIL strongly disliked our first baby's name. She had lobbied hard for us to choose a plain, single syllable name like Kate or John. We chose long, foreign names for all our children. She's over it now.

I think it's a lovely name but I can't help thinking if your mum hates it... she's probably already told several other people the name or at least her opinion of it.
Please use it but beware that it might not be a surprise for some people anymore x

Ooh. Yikes. I know it’d be none of my business but I don’t think I could hold back if my daughter wanted to use a name I absolutely hated.. Stella is pretty awful imo but that’s probably because of the beer?

Tell her Stella is the nickname, and you're actually naming her ConSTELLAtion

@Fred578 yes, in the context of an online forum specifically discussing negative feedback received about a potential name. My point was that although irl there’s lots of names we probably all grimace at, it’s poor manners to say so as it really is nothing to do with anyone other than the parents. My own mother in law pulled the same trick but it made me want to keep it all the more.

Definitely don't change it if you both like it. Everyone has an opinion before the baby comes but once she's here and has that name everyone will say how much it suits her.

How dare she say that to you, especially after badgering you to tell her! Ignore her, not her baby, she doesn't get to share her opinion. I'm sorry you had to deal with that shit.

Stella was my grandmothers name - she never had any wife beater comments! It reminds me of star which is a cute nickname too - it's a lovely name!

My mum hated my DD name when she was born, she actually tried to Gang up on me by trying to get my dad, grandad etc to agree they hated the name too, they weren't keen but actually my dad gave her a bit of support saying he's call her 'beth' instead like my mum had asked and also said to me - really don't care for the name beth so I lost it a bit and told them no her name is Tabitha and you'll call her that, not some made up name I hate - it died down but it was an awful thing of my mum to do after I had many problems having g children anyway and she was my first - plus I'd had two days of labour ending in section, I was exhausted and was greeted with am I ALLOWED to know her name yet (we didn't share til she was born) ... then she went off on one - didn't even ask if I was ok, or my DD

My MIL hates our son's name. She couldn't use it for weeks and kept passing me lists with alternative name suggestions. It upset me that she was so upset. I still remember the time she used his name for the first time. I knew she'd accepted it. Now he's 7 and she seems to quite like his name! Or at least never give it any thought.

Stella is a brilliant name! Don't change your mind.

Stella is a great name.

Your mum doesn't sound like a nice person at all - nagging you endlessly to tell her your name choices, then insulting one of them and ignoring the others.

Who does she think she is? This baby is yours and not hers. She needs to wind her neck in.

Unfortunately as much as you try to not let it put you off, it really does. MIL called one of our choices for DS1 ‘disgusting’ (we only told her our other choices after he was born and named). We now can’t use this name for DS2 as she’s tainted it for us.

Call her Stella. She’ll adore her grandchild so much it won’t matter and the name will really grow on her. Soon she won’t be able to imagine her as anything else.

My worry would be that if you have girl twins she will favour the one who isn't called Stella. That being said I would still use it and the first hint of her doing this she would be sent home until she grew up.

When pregnant with DD, it was a choice of two names, miley or madison and we preferred miley. Every time i said it everyone would sort of look awkward and say oh i like madison but never comment on miley. We went for it anyway, it suits her beautifully and we love it

The only thing that needs to change is your mother’s lack of manners. Stella is a fantastic name.

My mother has no filter either. She says exactly what comes into her head without thinking. You soon learnt to develop a thick skin growing up.