My mum won't call my son by his name

I would also avoid mentioning due dates, OP... that’s going to open another can of worms when it comes to birthing partners, etc. Just keep your birth plans to yourself, keep parenting ideas to yourself, etc. If she asks when you’re due, maybe extend the date by an extra couple of weeks and “have the baby early.” She won’t be waiting at the hospital when you arrive.

Congratulations OP!!. I like Harry.

You have all the power. You can not be doing with this stress right now. Minimise contact and concentrate on looking forward to Harry's arrival. I wish you all well.

Also Harry is a lovely name!

Your mum has had her go at naming children! She sounds awful

Frankly op that’s disgusting behaviour from your mother. Harry is a lovely name, and she should respect your decision.

I’d seriously consider having a relationship with the woman if I were you.

Also agree with the other posters saying not to discuss baby's name with anybody other than your DH until baby arrives. Well apart from the MN baby name section

Your mum is a nut job.

My mum is opinionated dont get me wrong... i wanted to call this baby 'Fletcher' and she was very quick to say she hated it.... however, would never go as far as refusing to call him it when he is born.

My mum and i are very close and its important to me to pick a name that i know she like ( not her choice, but i feel like ones she hates are kinda tainted)

I would treat your mum like the child she is being and ignore her when she uses another name ect.

I too am really wary of being set on a name before baby arrives as some just DONT suit their chosen name. I know someone who was adamant on Callum for years and years... her son is called Joel..

If this were the case and you decide against Harry at the last minute she will always secretly think its because SHE persuaded you off it.

Just tell her you are gonna wait for the baby to arrive to name him and you dont wanna discuss in the mean time.

PLUS Harry is actually called HENRY... amd is technically emancipated from the Royals now... so ya mum can sod off.

I think your mother is being ridiculous, what on earth is wrong with a child being called, 'Harry'? I've known loads of little Harry/Henrys, it has been a popular name on and off over the years and it's fairly classic.

She is also being very inconsiderate to you by making such an issue out of the name!!! Blimey, what would she do if you called your baby Jayden or Wayne (or worse)?

Nasty to go on about 'ginger', so what if a child has red or reddish hair. Some people have nothing to moan about so invent things.

Tell her straight!!! Show her this thread if necessary.

You are an adult now, too, OP. You simply do not have to put up with your mum’s behaviour. Does the relationship make you happy, or is it ongoing just because she’s your mum?
We have a Harry. It’s an ace name.

Don't tell anyone the name of your baby before it's born. It just gives them the chance to express an opinion you don't need.

This is probably a useful way to learn that you're going to need to develop a different relationship with your mum, op. She's going to be like this when the baby comes and you need a strategy to deal with it.

I love the name Harry. It was on our list if DD had been a boy.

You keep the name of you and you DP like it. Nobody has any right to tell you otherwise.

To be honest, your mom sounds like a compete nutter so I would be cutting her out of your life before the baby arrives as she will only get worse once he is here. Do what is best for your family and son. If that means no contact with her for the sake of your happiness and mental health, then so be it.

The baby is not born yet. Say nothing. When he is born call him what you like. She will get over it. Its only having discussions before the baby is born causes this. Once the child is here and registeed there can be no arguement

Grey rock* even

I'm so sorry that your mum is being so cruel. Grey work is the best thing to do, just shut her down and leave it at that. If you feel strong say, "BJ? You do know what that means don't you? People will accuse you of something if you start calling a baby blow job.". Shes had her turn to name children, time for her to respect your wishes.
And the Harry Potter thing isn't a big deal, it's a lovely name and wont make everyone immediately think about the book character.

I don't think the HP link is an issue. Nobody uses middle names in everyday life, I don't know many people's middle names.

You have a family link to both names so use them.

It's a lovely name and she should respect that. Are you a Harry Potter fan?

Do tell her what BJ stands for.

And then refuse to engage anymore on the subject. Unfortunately when narcissist-type personalities find something that annoys/irritates others they will often deliberately engage in it (all the while defending their reasons to the hilt and making out YOU are the unreasonable one).

Here's an idea - ask her what name she wants to be to the baby. Then say 'Oh no, don't like that!' and mutate it into something hideous, preferably with sexual overtones

Yes it was the frankly bonkers suggestion that somehow the baby was communicating it’s preferences that I was referring to.

@Pennywort apologies, the post I saw was a different one

No, she wasn't, @MsSquiz -- this is her post:

But even you aren’t calling him Harry. Are you even sure that you want the name or Maybe he’s telling you he doesn’t like it.
It’s certainly not unheard of babies to refuse a chosen name or to name themselves.

@Awwlookatmybabyspider appears to think that the OP's unborn baby is signalling, though his drunken grandmother being a pain in the ass, that he doesn't like the name Harry and wants to be called something else.

It's nothing to do with the name!!

You are an adult and about to become a mother yourself, stand up for your child.

Congrats on your pregnancy! Have a think about some boundaries you can put in place so you can feel less afraid of her. If you don’t want to speak to her when she’s been drinking because she’s unreasonable then decide that you won’t and stick to it. No one should be relentlessly calling you unless it’s an emergency.
Seriously get this in place before your baby arrives or you’ll be doing all kinds of things to keep her happy in the future, and making yourself miserable. You shouldn’t be afraid of your mum. Things have got out of balance.

@Pennywort & @MehitabelWhurl
baby spider was referring to a PP who said their daughter was called Madison and didn't want people calling her Maddie. (Which a totally different thing IMO)

If I were you OP, I would start calling your mum by a different name and just say you're not keen on "mum" any more. See how she likes it?

I hope you will update us OP so that we can all learn better ways of dealing with these fecking rude gits overbearing parents✊😊