Baby name help

@overandoverafail

You dont sound like you are aware that MIL has no power whatsoever to name your child.

You sound like you think MIL has ultimate control over everything and you are just obliged to go along with it.

Drop her a text, 'Hi MIL, I have heard on the grapevine you have been calling the baby Charlie. I'm aware of the sentimental value but am afraid I just do not like the name and therefore will not be using it. We will inform you of the name once the baby is born.' Job done.

OP if you just lie back and let MIL name your child you will only be back on here within a few months complaining that you hate your child's name, or that MIL is making your life hell by dominating the baby.

Stop trying to please people that clearly have no interest in pleasing you!

I'm in agreement that MIL is seriously over stepping the mark here.

Charles or Charlotte could be a nice middle name if DH feels really strongly about it but don't be bullied into naming your child something you hate!

Most people have said what i would say already, but MIL can bugger off and name a puppy Charlie if she wants it that badly.

My DM told everyone my DS was to be called Tim after her brother as that’s what 4 year old DD told her (4 year loved Topsy and Tim at the time was the real reason). So she looked like the wally not us when DS arrived and was called something completely different! I made her tell everyone the right name!

Tell dh he needs a new dw then... One mil can walk all over but you won't be controlled by her..

I also wouldn’t use it as a middle name, as it just legitimises her using that name instead

Wow, is she always this controlling?

Put your foot down or this will set the precedent that she gets to have a say in big decisions about YOUR child.

Do you like the PILs under other circumstances? Or is this weird controlling behaviour not just about names? If the former, maybe tell them you are happy to have Charlie as a middle name and say it in a way that makes it clear this is final and not for discussion. And tell all other family members to please NOT call your baby Charlie. If the latter, then those inlaws are better off kept at a very safe distance and given very little involvement in you lives.

Yeah, that little boy did not plan the baby name. His mother planted the seed and nurtured that idea in him for a long time.

Then they're in for a surprise, aren't they?

Let's see if we can help you find a name. What have you considered so far?

P.s. MIL might have told the family but I assume you speak to them at times. No reason you can't mention how MIL has been joking (or draconianly insisting) that the baby will be called Charlie and how she'll be in for a surprise.

I’d have a hatred of a name being foisted on me too!

Tell them both to bugger off. Planned it since childhood? That’s weird as fuck quite frankly and not your problem.

I kind of hope he isn't your birthing partner in case he takes advantage and tells the midwives the baby is named Charlie whilst you're still not fully yourself or in control. Although if he does that you've got wider problems!

Best of luck OP. Stand your ground and read your H the riot act for involving your MIL like this.

@overandoverafail

Apparently it's something DH and MIL have had planned since DH was a child

Tough shit. MIL is not the one carrying and giving birth to the baby. She is irrelevant in this issue. As for hubby, well the fact he seems to care more about pleasing MIL than you should be a massive alarm bell.

OP this is your baby, if you cave and agree to a name you hate you will regret it forever. MIL sounds like an overbearing nightmare, this usually only gets worse once the baby arrives - you need to set very clear boundaries right now.

Aww diddums. Well, given THEY are neither carrying it or birthing it they can sod off. MIL has had her turn to name a child. Quite honestly, your H is a turd for involving his mum and trying to force you into this (yes, force).

MIL doesn't get a say. Make that very clear to DH now.

You don't like Charlie so use your veto. Normally I'd suggest the middle name compromise but I worry that DH or MIL will just call baby Charlie anyway.

You and DH need to find a name you both love. Failing that a name you both like and failing that a name you can both live with. One of you doesn't get to impose a name on the other.

Your compromise here is to use it as a middle name.
Some ideas
Alexander Charles
Isaac Charlie
Benjamin Charles
Thomas Charlie

Jessica Charlotte
Imogen Charlotte
Lucy charlotte
Harriet Charlotte
Faye Charlotte

Even if you use the name Chester or Charlotte as a first name your dh and mil will just use Charlie anyway.

I'm not going to suggest any because you don't want it for a nickname either. Take your power back.

Firstly, your MIL doesn't get a say.

Secondly, as you dislike the name Charlie (so do I) you exercise your veto.

Thirdly, you and your DH (absolutely not your MIL) have to agree. So back to the drawing board.

I don't like the name Charlie but would be willing to have it as a middle name in this situation. Would that be an option instead?

You need to find a name both you and your DH like - and your MIL should have absolutely no say in the matter (make sure your husband is clear on that!).

Yuck

I hate the name Charlie too. It is another word for idiot. I would simply put my foot down and dismiss it completely. Forget the nickname. You wouldn’t expect your DH to accept something he absolutely hated, so it’s absolutely reasonable for you to rule it out completely. MIL is rude to even verbalise her hopes for a name.

But Charles (an obvious choice) is very nice, and not commonly used. Charlton, Chester. Charity for a girl? Good luck.