Friend used our baby name (without knowing), should we pick a new name?

Oh, OP, this is a bit of a pickle. I reckon if you like Rowan you should still go with it, but my own 2p on the Irish names front is Fionn, Oisín or Ferdia. Ferdia is particularly lovely.

Friends come and go but your little one will be with you the rest of your life. Think of it this way if for some reason you chose a different name and stopped being friends with that person within a year, will you be thinking oh man I wish we had used the name we loved after all?

I’d just use it OP.

I think they’ve done you a favour, since you want a name that is Irish and not trendy, as Rowan is not Irish and is trendy!

Having said that, it’s okay to change your criteria and go for the name you liked all along. Especially once you meet your baby, if he seems to suit Rowan. I’d come up with a short list to think about after he’s born, rather than set your heart on something, though.

As well as Ronan/Rónán, Eoin (which is an Irish form of John) or Eoghan mentioned earlier, there's Rory, the anglicized version of Ruairí (the latter is pronounced Roo-ree). Also you could check out 'Irish Gaelic boy names' by Bitesize Irish for names and pronunciations. Some of the names they include are rare outside Gaeltacht (Irish speaking) areas though.

Agree with @LizzieAnt about it being an anglicised version of Ruadhán.
The name Rua is becoming popular, it is a diminutive of Ruadhán and is nice. Also means red (hair).

Yeh it used to be a fairly unusual name until the last couple of years or so and it’s now leaping up the top 100 and Roman is fastest rising name. Think back to names like Noah and Theo that used to be very rare 10+ years ago and then suddenly entered top 100, became fastest risi names and boomed.

I've only met one Rowan, a 13 year old lovely boy. Otherwise I think of Rowan Atkinson.

Just use it. Rowan is lovely and you have great reasons for using it, which haven’t changed. Doesn’t sound like you see them enough for it to be confusing.

Not “trendy” at all in my book. I’ve only ever met one Rowan, an adult (male). Plus the previous Archbishop and Rowan Atkinson, also male and over 50. It’s traditional but not boring.

I think if you had your heart set on it and don’t use it there will always be a bit of a regret there. What about spelling it Roan so it’s a bit different?

No one own a name and you are perfectly within your rights to stick to your original name choice

HOWEVER

I personally would never want to call my DC the same name as anyone in mine or my OH's friendship or family groups. It's one thing if it was a colleague or distant friend, but this is his best friend so it would be a no from me.

I've been thinking about your situation. You actually named him Rowan first as you've already been calling him that in the womb! I would have your partner tell his friend that and let him explain it! If we are talking about men here they are not as emotional about these things as we are so I'm sure it will be fine! And its really not this group of friends' business!

But if it does really bother you, I would suggest Ryan. Irish name too and better known but not as in current "demand" as Rowan. I do know several- it is getting quite common. I like the sound and meaning better. They are similar but to me Ryan is more dignified but that's just my personal opinion. I do like Rowan. It was on my list at one point but now I'm obsessed with Callahan!

I'm sure if you go with Rowan it will be fine! You guys see each other only a few times a year and friends grow apart. And the friendship group sounds kinda mean and unsupportive if they dont understand your side on this!

I only know female Rowans. I much prefer Rohan for a boy.

I would still use the name, you don't see these friends often, who knows if you will still be friends in years to come. Someone I know didn't use their chosen name because a close friend beat them to it. A few years later and they hardly saw or heard from these people, no falling out just pressure of family life.

I had Rowan on my girls’ list from a young ago (Rowan Marlow being a hero for those who read Antonia Forest) but DH thought of it as a boys’ name (Rowan Atkinson, Rowan Williams) so we decided against it. I didn’t think it would ever become popular.

I would use it if you like it, OP. And your friends are weird.

Sorry, a typo in my earlier post. It's Rónán (with two accents/fadas) that's the original version of Ronan. The fada lengthens the sound so this name is pronounced Roan-awn. The anglicized version without fadas is pronounced Roan-an). Just in case you want to consider alternatives...

If you like it, use it. But it’s really not an Irish name at all. I only know female Rowans personally.

I'm not sure I'd consider Rowan a traditional Irish boys name. There's no letter w in the Irish alphabet. It's listed as an anglicized version of Ruadhán, but the latter is pronounced differently, as Roo-awn. I haven't come accross the name Roan. If you love it, use it. I wouldn't be too worried about your husband's friend's child as you see them rarely. But, in case you decide not to use it, possible Irish alternatives inclde Ronan or Ronán (the accent giving the second syllable an awn sound). Ronán is the original but Ronan widely used. Means little seal. Also Eoin or Eoghan (pronounced the same and like Owen) sound like Rowan without the R.

For starters these mates can F off! It’s really odd they’d meddle in your child’s name choice- its got nothing to do with them. 😡

That being said, I think if one of your main criteria is that you want to avoid a “trendy name” as you say, then I’d definitely avoid Rowan.

I think what’s happened with your friends calling their daughter Rowan could be a blessing in disguise.

Names like Arthur and Olivia are currently trendy but they have stood the test of time and been in the top 100 before. Roman/Rowan/Rohan has never in history been in top 100 til now but is currently storming up the charts for girls and boys. So it could be a Darren/Sharon type name to the next generations ears. I’m sure Darren and Sharon sounded like lovely fresh (trendy!) names to new parents in the 70s and 80s. And they are actually ok names but obviously very dated.

Use it if you like it. You won't see them much. There'll probably be lots of Rowan's by the time he goes to nursery and school. There's 3 of us with the same name in my extended family. My 5 kids have at least one other with the same name. While at a hospital appointment last week 3 other girls had the same name as my dd. Unless you want something that no one else has you will have to make one up.

Rowan is a great strong boys name. I'd use it, especially as the two boys live far apart!

I think it’s got to be how you feel re still using it. One of our DC shares a name with x2 friends children. They are absolutely good and close friends but we don’t see either of them often due to distance etc. Also the kids are a few years apart in age so it didn’t seem like an issue and no one was bothered. This is obviously different to your circumstances but if you feel happy then don’t let other people make you doubt yourself (this is a skill needed for parenthood in general!)

As for other suggestions - how about Torin?

“Definitely not a girls name”?!
Tell that to the 100 girls in England (and rising) that were given the name last year.
It’s a unisex name xx

@ cattlestreet - yes I hoped Roman and Rowan would be seen as different names but sadly they often aren’t in my experience. My daughter gets called Roman by accident quite a bit, even at the hospital recently.