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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Honest opinions needed...Baby’s name is the same as a friends child

60 replies

Willow4987 · 08/02/2020 20:42

So a friend who I’ve known for 10 years (who I went to uni with) but don’t get to see that regularly due to where we both live in the country mainly

We were super close at uni, and I still consider her a close friend. When we are able to see each other, we click better with each other than most other people.

So the dilemma...her son is almost 2 and for the sake of the thread let’s say his name is John (it’s not but fairly common/traditional so kind of similar to the actual name). I’ve not had a chance to meet him yet (I have seen her however) but I’m due DS2 soon and the only name I like is the same as her sons

I’ve only ever had 2 boys names I’ve really liked, the first one I used on DS1

If you were the friend would you be offended if I used the same name?

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MikeUniformMike · 09/02/2020 19:14

Your friend will probably mind but if it's a top 5 name it was probably going to happen sooner or later.

KipperBang · 09/02/2020 19:08

Of all the names in all the world, MUST you choose the same one that a close friend has done?

Nobody owns a name. But it displays such a lack of imagination and 'copycat' doesn't it? I'd think you were strange if you did it to me. But meh, crack on as you clearly want to but don't be surprised if your mate thinks you're a bit odd

Rachelhaydenberk1 · 09/02/2020 18:05

I would mention it to her beforehand personally but it's up to you!! Its not like it's a super close circle though - just an old friend you dont see often so I wouldn't necessarily give up on it but I would maybe tell her ahead of time just so she has no reason to be surprised!

Purpleartichoke · 09/02/2020 18:01

For me, the name has already been taken because it is already in use in your circle. I would pick a different name.

sel2223 · 09/02/2020 17:36

I wouldn't personally do it, however it's entirely your choice. Nobody owns a name.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/02/2020 08:43

Nope, I wouldn’t. If I had a Dd I always wanted to name her after a DF with a named which was very common when we were growing up. The name became more common and another DF chose it for her DD. We gave that name to our DD as her middle name instead.

Original poster
Willow4987 · 09/02/2020 08:37

Thanks everyone! Think I’ll go for it and then just acknowledge the same name when he’s born.

OP posts:
ellenpartridge · 09/02/2020 08:31

If the name is in the top 5 I don't think it's a problem at all

Thinkingaboutsummer2020 · 09/02/2020 08:24

My son’s name is more uncommon (in the 70s on the name chart) and I love it if someone I know uses it! (Most recently one of the children in his classes little brother). If you haven’t met her 2 year old them very unlikely it will cause any confusion.

Flymetothestars · 09/02/2020 08:18

Top 5 name just isn’t a problem
Go for it

Thislittlepiggywentto · 09/02/2020 08:12

I would be bothered. Just go for it.

Whatsyourflava · 08/02/2020 23:48

If it’s top 5 then it’s completely fine. No problem at all.

Letthemysterybe · 08/02/2020 23:37

If it’s a top 5 name then I’m sure she’s not bothered.

dellacucina · 08/02/2020 23:33

Before seeing this: it’s in the top 5 so fairly common

I was going to say "there are like 5 acceptable boys' names so I think you get a pass!"

I wouldn't sweat it Smile

Original poster
Willow4987 · 08/02/2020 23:20

It’s also quite traditional/classic

OP posts:
Original poster
Willow4987 · 08/02/2020 23:20

@Whatsyourflava it’s in the top 5 so fairly common

OP posts:
HerculesMulligan · 08/02/2020 23:08

This happened to me and a university friend. We both had boys in 2014, chose different names, then she had a second boy a couple of years later and gave him the same name as my DS. Until I read this thread I had no thought about it having any impact on me or our friendship! No one owns a name, fgs.

HannahC86 · 08/02/2020 22:35

I'd be flattered, and gracious. I think it would be childish if she was anything else.

Jossina · 08/02/2020 22:33

Since you don't see her weekly or even monthly I think it's fine. It's not like the name is super original or something.

Whatsyourflava · 08/02/2020 22:23

What kind of number in the name charts are we talking @Willow4987
Give us a ballpark

reginafalange2020 · 08/02/2020 22:10

I honestly don't see the problem here. It would be weird to be offended. I could understand her being offended if you hated her sons name.

When I was pregnant with DC2 every one knew my boys name was always Harry. I was sure I was having a boy so called my bump Harry. Anyway out popped a gorgeous Girl.

A year later my friend got pregnant and called her son Harry.

12 weeks ago I had a baby boy and called him ........ yep you guessed it Harry!

Neither one of us had a problem.
No one owns a name. Just tell your friend it's a name you've always loved and it's the only name you can agree on.

Lucylivesinamushroomhouse · 08/02/2020 22:00

If it’s a fairly common name I’d say it’s fine.

CorianderLord · 08/02/2020 21:57

No I'd be fine... it's your child and you're not immediate family. You can't own a common name.

Rachelhaydenberk1 · 08/02/2020 21:56

Yeah they are unlikely to know each other or be around each other so I wouldn't overthink it too much if you really love it. I would probably tell her though so that she can never say you didn't. Just doing the ethical friend due diligence. And then if she is totally fine about it there is never any guilt or second thought about this again! If she has a weird reaction about it, then of you think it's too weird you have time to think up other names or you can name your child that name anyway because at the end of the dsy it's still your decision!

bridgetreilly · 08/02/2020 21:52

It's completely fine to use it. Don't tell her in advance. Do say something when you next talk to her along the lines of, "We obviously both have excellent taste in names!" that acknowledges it but doesn't apologise for it. The children are unlikely to even know each other well, after all, let alone be close enough for any confusion.

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