Would you warn a mum that your baby will share a name with hers?

What outcome are you seeking OP? You keep using the word "warn" as if you are assuming it's likely to cause trouble? If so, what is the nature of the trouble? Her DD is older, the only possible reaction from others is that you copied her, and in the great scheme of things that doesn't matter one bit. It's none of her business what you call your child. Don't go out of your way to mention it, you'll look like a nut job.

• sorry she said it’s “top 170 ish”

So we are talking about the popularity of the name Sadie, Maggie or Ottilie

@coragreta OP has said it’s about number 170 ish in the charts

What will you do if you tell her and she's really pissed off about it and says so?

They will think you've copied them regardless of what you tell them.

I'd be a little annoyed and probably a little weirded out, think it was odd if someone named their baby the same, living in a small village setting in the same street as you've described. I'd probably give you a wide berth, and be secretly a little pissed off about it 😂.

Same. I'd definitely choose another name. Especially as you yourself want your dd not to share her name!

I hate threads like this because I really want to know the name
I think it does depend on the name. Common fine. Super unusual they will think you have copied them.

If it’s top 170ish it’s probably not all that unusual. Is it the sort of name people will have heard of?

Some names are so unusual that you meet one person with the name and never hear of anyone else with it, but those kind of names aren’t usually in the top 200.

My son was at school with David (Dave), Nicholas (Nick), Sarah, Emma, Louise, William (Will), James. They all seemed to like their names and still do. Classic and timeless.

Susan is due a come back.

In the top 170ish as you say.... you'll come across it again. My DS is one of less than 100 with his name in his birth year according yo statistics yet there is one in his rugby team and one in his swim class.... funnily all named after a relative and not named to be unusual

Whilst I wouldn't tell the Mum... if the name really is unusual she will think that you copied her. How much that would bother you is personal to you, but she will definitely think you've taken inspiration from her daughters name. Her reaction could vary from flattered to angry or somewhere in between, but it will definitely register on her radar that you copied (even though officially you didn't) but it all depends how unusual the name is.

No

someone on another thread suggested Twig! Reckon that might be a safe bet

@crustycrab exactly my point haha unless you bung random letters together you can't guarantee! I avoided the obvious Ava and olivias and I went for something 'super rare' but unless you quiz every pregnant person in the local area you can never guarantee a rare or unduplicated name

I would pick another name.

Regardless of how long you've liked it, they will always think you copied it if it's an unusual ish name.

By telling her you run the risk of her saying oh I'd rather you didn't! Or getting a bit miffed/making a comment about there being other names whereas if you def want to stick with it, I'd just wait until she's born.

Also my dc2 has a traditional but "unusual" name (Everyone knows the name, but you don't hear it used very often). I'd be hmmmm.... not annoyed as such, just probably a little weirded out, think it was odd if someone named their baby the same, living in a small village setting in the same street as you've described. I'd probably give you a wide berth, and be secretly a little pissed off about it 😂.

I'd mention that you are calling your DD the name her DD is called and that you aren't copying as you have had it at number 1 for a long time.
I just wouldn't want her to think I was a mindless copycat tbh. Whether she was happy or not wouldn't really bother me.
I however would personally have second thoughts about the name as wouldn't want DD to be the younger one with the name as I care far too much what people think of me and I'd worry these randoms thought if copied the family over the road

What does your dh think? Does he think it's be weird to use the name now?

And put yourself in the other mum's shoes... How would you feel if a neighbour used you DD name in a year's time, when you'd thought of an unusual name purposely so she wasn't one of many in the class? Would it annoy you? I think you'd be miffed personally, but rightly so, no one owns a name, so if you're adamant you're using it, do so with confidence, and as pp said and tell them in advance, so it doesn't seem weird when the baby is born... congrats by the way!

I would probably only say something if it came up in conversation rather than deliberately saying something out of nowhere. You might well look a but mad then!

I think mention it in passing that you've always loved that name and had it picked for your dd. It wouldn't matter usually, but living on the same street, in a small village and children sharing a class - it may be a big deal to them

What's the point in telling the other mother beforehand?

Are you asking for her permission?

You're not going to change the name (which is fine), and she's hardly likely to nip down to the deed poll office with her DD on hearing about your plans, is she?

I’d think you were nuts if you approached me with this, tbh.

Are you saying they'll be in the same school year, as I'm sure that'll be impossible if theirs is over a year old and yours isn't born yet? Forgive me if that's not what you're saying here. If they won't be in the same year group, I'm not sure it matters as much, but if they'll be the same class, then I'd definitely think twice about the name. Also, if I was that keen to have a more "unusual" name, I wouldn't want my child to have the same name as another on the street. I know that's not always preventable, but in your case, I would choose a different name. There are thousands out there, and it's not like you're saying it's a name speical to you (family name etc) just a name you like, so I'd just look for another equally nice one. I'd love to know what the name is so we could give you some alternative suggestions!