Posting as it’s bothering me (again) and I don’t have anyone IRL to talk to about it
Basically my best friend of 25 years had her baby in summer and gave him the name I’d told her I was going to use. She had picked another name after her dad who passed away but changed it a few days before her csection and announced it publicly before telling me. I was obviously hurt and felt like she done it in bad taste, we’ve never actually spoken about it either so not been able to clear the air. I congratulated her and didn’t comment on the name, I didn’t even say it out loud I just said ‘baby’ up until recently as it upset me. Some people did raise an eyebrow that she had named him that but as my baby wasn’t yet born and I didn’t know the sex they said ‘first born first named’ and wouldn’t talk about it.
As background the reason I picked the name was because it’s special to me and sentimental and since we were kids she knew if I had a son that would 100% be his name. She has no connection and used it because it’s ‘plain and simple for school and work’ in her words not because she liked it.
I then had my son recently and still used the name for him on the advice of NM and MM ladies as I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t stick with it. It suits him perfectly and I’m happy I got to use it after all. Since then mutual friends are making comments such as ‘you stole x and x babys name?’ ‘Why didn’t you chose a name of your own’ ‘are you trying to take attention from their baby’ not even a simple congratulations and it’s upsetting me. She didn’t congratulate me until he was 2 weeks old but has made public comments like ‘they’re name twins it’s nice!’ but I know her style and that she means it patronisingly to make me look bad as when we speak one to one she won’t discuss it and hasn’t called him by his name yet. Many of our friends know the background about the name and why I used it so if anything they should be questioning why she used it and know I didn’t copy her. I don’t want to fall out with anyone over it after all no one owns a name, and I just let it go even when it hurt me for months as I still got to use the name, but the fact it keeps coming up makes me realise my son may be seen as the ‘second x’ etc.
What’s the best way to let all this go? I don’t think they will stop as I’ve seen comments on fb along the lines of ‘oh mils baby x not Laura’s x’ and I know this will continue through their childhood. Any advice?