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Baby names

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Original poster

Name regret - 2 years on

58 replies

GettingABitDesperateNow · 26/11/2019 00:40

Hi all

I thought I'd be over this now and just posting to see if anyone has a similar story and how you got over it?

We were stuck between two names for our baby. At the time, after the birth, I couldn't decide and my husband had a slight preference for one name...we didnt decide for about 10 days after the birth and his family were contacting us every day to ask if we'd chosen yet, and every night, my husband would say 'right, we have to decide tomorrow'. I went for the name he liked, primarily because the other name has a common nickname that isn't my favourite, and the name we chose doesn't have any short versions. After 10 days I was no nearer a feeling about which was best so just plonked for one.

I realised after a few months I'd made the wrong choice. While it looks nice written down and I dont mind the name in itself -

  • it sounds awful in the dialect where we live (not the same accent as me, so didnt sound like I thought it would in my head)
  • I dont think it suits her
  • I think the name is considered a bit chavvy
  • the spelling is its original spelling but there is a newer spelling that other people use...anyway it confuses people
My husband refused to change it though

Two years on, and I still bloody hate it. I just feel rubbish about it. I really thought I'd have got used to it by now. No PND so not related to that. Her sister has a really nice name that we always get compliments on and our poor second daughter is stuck with a name I hate. I regret not choosing the other name so much (the alternative was also a name from my husbands culture as is my first daughter's so is a much better 'fit' as well as being pretty, and not too popular, and I just cant believe I didnt pick it due to a possible nick name that we wouldn't have had to use anyway).

When I read similar threads, people say to change it (it's too late now, she knows it, and husband would never agree anyway) she will grow into it (she hasn't, in my head), use a middle name (hasn't got one as has a long surname) or use a nick name (there really isn't a nickname with this name, you can't really shorten it)

I know it's not the end of the world, but has anyone experienced similar? How did you get over it? I feel like I cringe when I introduce her and I wish I didn't! I have mentioned to a couple of people and they think I'm mad, and say well it's done now just stop thinking about it...and I try not to give it any headspace and then I hear someone else say her name and I just feel bad about it again. Any advice about how I can make peace with her name? Or at least not think about it, its such a waste of energy regretting something that I cant change

Not sure if relevant but not having any more children

Thanks just re read and its massive, sorry.

OP posts:
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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 26/11/2019 02:05

Or is it Isla.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 26/11/2019 02:04

If it’s Eve I wouldn’t say that was chavvy.

Original poster
GettingABitDesperateNow · 26/11/2019 01:50

I've seen the name on other threads and other sites where people have asked 'what nickname / shortened version goes with (child's name)' and pretty much all responses said there isn't one as it's a short name in it's own right (it's not this but think something like Ava).

I was going to add a middle name before she was one and life took over (we had a run of illnesses over 3 months which was quite tough) and I never did it and now my husband thinks it's too late, and I'd need his permission legally.

You're right I do just need to move on, I'm just not sure how! It's like a break up or something, I try and not think about it then I hear other people call her her name and i just feel sad about it.

I am aware this sounds pathetic and i do realise it's definitely a first world problem.

Hopefully she wont have the same feelings about it anyway.

Thanks for the responses

OP posts:
BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 26/11/2019 01:15

There must be a way of keeping the name but changing it slightly, for example I don’t like the name Joan but Joanie is nice, Sharon could become Ronnie, Lorraine could be Raine, Joyce could be Jay etc etc, if you could tell us the name maybe the mumsnet massive could come up with something you could call her instead?

Collision · 26/11/2019 01:10

Please tell us the name.

SleepWarrior · 26/11/2019 01:08

Could you add in a middle me that you love and then start calling her FistName MiddleName occasionally, and then gradually drop FirstName so you are always calling her by the new name.

If she really doesn't like that then stop, no harm done, she just has a middle name now. If she does like it then in a year's time or something (when she's used to it) you could swap the first and middle name round on the birth certificate and it would be no big deal so long as done before she starts school.

If there were a few stubborn family members who insisted on calling her the original name it wouldn't even matter because it would still be one of her names.

Staffori · 26/11/2019 00:59

I regretted my daughter's long name but like the shortened version we've always used. I think in your shoes I would - together with my daugher - try to come up with a nickname you both like. It doesn't have to be connected to her real name.

ShippingNews · 26/11/2019 00:59

My DD has a name I dislike , it's an old name and whenever you see it in a book, the character is always the scullery maid , or a pantomime dame. It has no class and I've no idea what I was thinking when I picked it for her 30 years ago. But ... It never seems to bother her, and she has never said she hates it. So I've filed it in the " first world problem basket" and have moved on.

If your DD knows her name you can't really change it, OP. You'll have to move on I'm afraid.

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