What do you think about hyphenated surname?

Agree with PP, use both surnames on documentation but don't hyphenate so he's only known by one.

My only question is what do 2 DC, who both have double barreled surnames do when they get married?

Why does this chestnut pop up on every thread like it's meant to be some kind of "gotcha"!

Pick one surname, pass it on.

Ideally, boys pass on the surname from their father and girls pass on the surname from their mother. Patrilineal and matrilineal, innit? Like y-chromosome and mitochondrial DNA.

Mind your own business Mike.

Back off Tatiana, there is no need for that.

My only question is what do 2 DC, who both have double barreled surnames do when they get married?

They've both got their DM and DF's names, double-barreled. Which name takes precedence? Somebody is going to be pissed off!

And you think your opinion isn’t clear from your posts? Are you hoping to browbeat OP to your POV?

I know your opinion on this Tatiana, you've made it very clear from your countless posts on this thread (and probably others if memory serves me).

It's not a feminist choice

One man’s surname or two men’s surnames. Is that your idea of feminism?

"I also believe that my opinion about the use of my surname is the opinion that should ultimately matter."

Agree with this.
However, I don't really understand why using your surname would prevent you from also giving the child a name to honour someone in your family. Surely you can do both. I did for my DS:
First name: chosen by DH and me (he suggested and I agreed)
Middle name: family name from my side to honour one of my relatives (also a middle name for relatives on both sides)
Surname 1: my surname
Surname 2: DH's surname
(No hyphen)

The lack of hyphen means that some people might assume that my surname is a middle name (no big deal) and it also means that DS can easily choose to use just one surname for "everyday" ie all non official things.

However, that's just how we did it. If you really really don't want to give your child your surname, I don't fully understand it but I acknowledge that it is of course your choice.

It's not a feminist choice, but all our choices don't have to be feminist - they are informed by so many factors.

Spelling my name, or having someone mispronounce it at the dentist's, doesn't send me, or anyone in my family, into the kind of tailspin that some people on Mumsnet seem to suffer from regularly

Tailspin my arse, I just said I couldn’t be bothered. If it turns you on that’s up to you.

I have a two syllable surname and I have PoA for my aunt who is 3 syllables hyphen two syllables and it’s more of faff to deal with. It’s just personal preference.

I've got a double barrelled surname and it's not wanna be posh and it's no hassle either!

The first name of mine is two syllables and the second is one syllable. Not sure if that's relevant.

I do sometimes shorten my name though if it's for something "not important" for example ;
Kathleen Johnson-May
Kat May
but all official documents I have no issues with my full name.

Hope that helps.

@Gallivespian, I am only going by people I know.
The ones who are married might be old fashioned in that they are Mr & Mrs Surname, and call their child Childsname Surname.
The unmarried ones tend to either give the father's surname to the child or use Fathersurname-Mothersurname.

I'm probably old fashioned as I got married, then became pregnant and the children got their father's surname, which was also mine.

When I was at school, hardly anyone had a double-barrelled surname, but I'm sure if I went to the same school now, there would be quite a few.

I'm only stating my observations.

I have one. Don't do it. It has been a burden. It's awkward and terrible.

All the kids I know who have double barrelled surnames got to about 14/15 and then ditched one of the names.

I like the middle name - surname solution. No barreling. I must admit that I always think of double-barreled as either sounding ridiculously posh or working class unmarrieds. If that kind of thing bothers you.

My DC have their father’s surname. I kept my own name, so I’m the only one in the family with a different name. I vaguely toyed with the two surnames for my DC but decided against it swiftly. Yes, the DC could have had my surname, but I wasn’t particularly bothered at the time - this was 20 years ago. His simpler surname made options for first names much easier.

And so does DC's first name and second middle name. Idgaf. Never bothered me at all. It's who I am, my heritage, my name. Spelling it out isn't a problem at all.

I did think for one second that your DC was called 'Idgaf' and thought, 'Oh, interesting, I wonder where that name originates?'

And I entirely agree with your post. Spelling my name, or having someone mispronounce it at the dentist's, doesn't send me, or anyone in my family, into the kind of tailspin that some people on Mumsnet seem to suffer from regularly. Nor did not being able to buy mugs/door plaques/whatever with my name on them give me an identity crisis.

Well fine OP, just use his name.

I don't understand what your dilemma is?

Is his patriarchal naming compulsion ("And I‘m not opposed to simply using mine. DH however is") so strong that he feels he can dictate the entire name, including adding your surname against your wishes?

Also my first name and my maiden name (now the second part of our double-barelled family surname) are foreign and always require spelling. And so does DC's first name and second middle name. Idgaf. Never bothered me at all. It's who I am, my heritage, my name. Spelling it out isn't a problem at all.

We double-barelled our names when we got married and DC has the same surname. She also two middle names, as does DH. So they both ridiculously long names.
But we don't care, we think it sounds nice (DC's name) and it gives them easy options to use a middle name if they end up not liking their first name etc. This is particularly something we thought about as we gave them a first name from a different language/culture so ensured one of their middle names is more commonly-British.

I'm sure loads of people think it's too long and silly but I don't care. Personally I like my double-barelled name. DC can always change it as an adult if they don't.

Our child has both our surnames: mine-DH. I never changed my surname after marriage and it made sense.

No one ever say that about a man's surname do they?!

Well yes they do - all the -son ending names - Johnson - son of John.

I can’t get worked up about my father’s surname, I don’t like his family much, not a clan I particularly feel kinship with or want to belong to.

Ah, that old argument. A woman's surname is just her father's surname! No one ever say that about a man's surname do they?!

My surname is mine because I've had it from birth.

Also, if woman give their children their surnames, it won't just be the father's surname any more.