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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Gender neutral names/nicknames

107 replies

CheesyMother · 02/10/2019 12:11

I’m just wondering if anyone has some ideas of names that can be used for both girls and boys, or where the usual nickname is one that can be for both boys and girls.

So names like Leslie, Evelyn etc but also names like Charles/Charlotte which would both be Charlie, Henry/Harriet which would both be Harry.

Thanks!

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5zeds · 05/10/2019 14:27

My (female) friends called Alex or Sam have never been mistaken for a man!. . Off the point but how on earth could you possibly know this?

BertrandRussell · 05/10/2019 14:23

So nobody ever sees Alex or Sam written down and assume man? Hmm @

Lavenderblues · 05/10/2019 14:19

My (female) friends called Alex or Sam have never been mistaken for a man!

BertrandRussell · 05/10/2019 13:03

I’ve mentioned before the time my niece ended up stranded at an airport because the person meeting her assumed that she couldn’t possibly be the Dr Sam X he was looking for....

TatianaLarina · 05/10/2019 12:58

From experience a woman with a gender neutral name is generally presumed to be male. A lifetime of that gets wearing.

5zeds · 05/10/2019 12:54

The message is that if you choose to obscure it a little bit before equality is achieved then it’s fine to do so.
Yes, I think what I was said was this message is not one I would be comfortable sending. I don’t think people trying to “pass” for things they’re not is a good idea.

Dljlr · 05/10/2019 08:44

I'm a Jo, it's not gender neutral as everyone assumes I'm male and I receive (professional) emails addressed to 'Joe' even though my name is in my email address Hmm I think truly gender neutral is very difficult to find; everyone's natura default seems to be male.

TheDarkRoom · 05/10/2019 08:37

Totally get that boobs! January is such a great name! No need to shorten that ti Jan.

One of my best friends is still called by her original surname, even though she changed her surname when she got married!

thebakerwithboobs · 05/10/2019 08:29

Is this just to give her the choice? Because she might not like the shorter version anyway. My name is January but being called Jan makes my teeth itch! My nickname is my surname.

Disposableplates · 05/10/2019 08:09

I have a gender neutral nickname, but at work use my full name as think it is more professional! Not come across much bias either.

So you may have all the best intentions now but it all depends on the child.

Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav · 04/10/2019 18:31

You've just said there's a few that you like... That's what I meant, do you like any of these 'kind' of names or would you just be doing it for the sake of it?

Original poster
CheesyMother · 04/10/2019 17:56

Good point @DirtyWindow

Thanks to everyone who has made suggestions so far. There are definitely a few that I like and hadn’t thought of before.

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DirtyWindow · 04/10/2019 17:54

Re Jo - Jo Johnson uses that spelling (pretty sure his full name is Joseph).

Original poster
CheesyMother · 04/10/2019 17:16

Out of interest, for those who seem very anti this way of thinking, do you judge people who have named their daughters Charlotte, Harriet, Philippa etc as sending some kind of message or being apologetic for being female?

Is it just as abhorrent to you if I choose to call my son Henry?

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Original poster
CheesyMother · 04/10/2019 17:14

No @5zeds. People do (currently) judge you on your sex. That is a fact. The message is that if you choose to obscure it a little bit before equality is achieved then it’s fine to do so.

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5zeds · 04/10/2019 16:02

Thinking it is important that their nickname shrouds their sex in mystery sends a message. The message is “people judge you on your sex, hide it to achieve equality”. I wouldn’t want to send that message. Female and unapologetic here.

drspouse · 04/10/2019 15:52

@CheesyMother just out of interest as she likes numbers!

TheDarkRoom · 04/10/2019 15:38

Just thought of Lex and Riley too.

Original poster
CheesyMother · 04/10/2019 15:22

So, for example, I like Sam and Samuel but I’m not so keen on Samantha (I think due to associations with particular people in my mind). And I wouldn’t give the baby the name “Sam” - even though we would probably call them that in reality. So if it’s a boy, we would call him Samuel but if it’s a girl we wouldn’t call her Samantha.

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Original poster
CheesyMother · 04/10/2019 14:36

Exactly @TheDarkRoom! In fact, I’m more likely to use a neutral name for a boy as I like more of the gendered names with neutral nicknames for boys than for girls.

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Original poster
CheesyMother · 04/10/2019 14:33

Yes - I think those are pretty truly neutral @thedarkroom although I’d definitely think Jess was a girl at first instance.

@BertrandRussell - we probably will give them a girl’s name if they turn out to be a girl, but as we already have a neutral (nick)name for my son it’s just something I’m thinking about. What I really want is a traditional girl’s name where the usual (or a common) nickname is (truly) neutral.

And I am looking for neutral names for a potential son too! I don’t know which they are yet!!

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TheDarkRoom · 04/10/2019 14:26

I thought the op didn't know what she was having Bertrand? Is this not for the baby, regardless of sex?

TheDarkRoom · 04/10/2019 14:25

I think my suggestions of Lou, Nat, Pat, Jazz, (nicknames obviously) as well as Robin, Sacha and Rowan are truly neutral. I don't think I'd know either way if I heard them.

Oh also Jess maybe? That could be either, but I'd probably think girl first...

BertrandRussell · 04/10/2019 14:23

Just give her a girl’s name. What’s wrong with being a girl? Nobody ever goes hunting for a “gender neutral” name for a boy.

Original poster
CheesyMother · 04/10/2019 14:19

The point about Charlie and Max being assumed to be two boys by most people is why it’s so hard to find a truly neutral name.

I think Jo/Joe and Frances/Francis when spoken are. But not when written down, obviously.

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