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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

What do you think of this name for baby due imminently?

108 replies

catlike1979 · 15/09/2019 12:20

39 weeks and not sure if boy or girl, have a girls name but for boy.....
Rafe Michael James Head.

I've posted on here recently asking for help with names - we both really like Rafe, but I'm not sure Rafe Head works (too short having both names one syllable?), but there are so many names that DON'T work with our surname. Michael and James have family connections but we don't want to use them as first names for various reasons but we love them as middle names.

Any comments? Or alternatives? Want to avoid the very overpopular names, please be honest and HELP because we're getting really stressed about it! Took us 6 weeks to name DS whilst in sleep deprived haze and really want to avoid that this time Hmm

OP posts:
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CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 15/09/2019 14:10

OP your surname compared to others I've heard is perfectly fine. Everyone knows surnames can be tricky and/or plain weird.

When I was at primary school there was a Jennifer Blackhead and a Jennifer Whitehead. Same school. Not related.

Anyway nothing wrong with Rafael and Rafe is sweet. However in terms of sound yes a 3 syllable first name would be better overall although you'll likely shorten it for a NN anyway

Original poster
catlike1979 · 15/09/2019 14:08

Aw thanks @Spintops! I do need to stop stressing but so hard as it took us ages to name DS after he was born and I just didn't need it alongside the new baby sleep deprivation!!

DH didn't make me change my name, he expected that I would as he just figured that's what you did, and I was so caught up in the romance of being a newlywed and at the time all my friends changed their names too that stupidly I just thought that's what you did. It's only in retrospect I've thought about it and realised that I detest my surname and wished I hadn't done it! I'm pretty sure that whatever comes of this, I will be changing my name back to maiden name and have told DH this and he has accepted it. He's also said that he doesn't like the idea of the family not having one surname, so if push comes to shove then he'd change his name to my maiden name along with the children. So that's good.

We just had a chat about it and he said I should stop stressing and if we end up changing our surname then we can do that as and when, but see now I'm stressing about choosing a first name because IF we end up changing our surname, it has a bearing on which first name we go with and this baby is due any day now!

OP posts:
Spintops · 15/09/2019 14:03

Woah, woah, woah! I see NOTHING wrong with the name you've chosen. Don't let it stress you out. If you love the name Rafe, go with it. It sounds absolutely normal to me.
I think there's too much overthinking going on. I remember your other thread and a lot of the suggestions from others genuinely sounded awful with Head. The best ideas are going to come from you and your partner because you've considered it the most and Rafe goes fine with Head. You don't want to choose a name that other people like or you're going to regret it. Go with what YOU both like.
Mumsnet is good for steering people from naming their kids things like 'Annette Curtain' but Rafe Head is inoffensive/normal/fine.

HugoSpritz · 15/09/2019 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Atlasta · 15/09/2019 13:53

Isaac Michael James Head
Alexander Michael James Head
Leon Michael James Head
Daniel Michael James Head.
All sound lovely and go well with the unfortunate surname.
Rafe seems to draw attention to it.

MyDcAreMarvel · 15/09/2019 13:51

Rueben would work better.

FamilyOfAliens · 15/09/2019 13:45

Wait, what - did he insist you changed your surname to Head as well, OP?

What’s wrong with him?

whatausername · 15/09/2019 13:45

True true @diddlediddle OP & I posted at the same time, it wasn't meant to be a pile on. I really don't think Rafe Head is bad at all time, I imagine calling it out in the pharmacy and seems fine to me. Not particularly elegant or cool but strong and not embarrassing.

diddlediddle · 15/09/2019 13:40

Don't stress poor OP out further by going on about the surname being bad and why the patriarchy should be taken down 😂 I couldn't agree more but basically clearly the baby is going to have the last name Head and that's what's been decided for the best in their family. Fair enough.

Ranulph Head nn Rafe could work? Or Ralph? I agree Raphael is a bit Spanish if you have no connections to it.

Are there no other contenders OP?

FWIW I still like Austin and think it goes well with the middle names you've chosen. I think ruling it out just because of the initial is unnecessary.

whatausername · 15/09/2019 13:11

I don't think Rafe is that bad tbh but Rafael is lovely too.

whatausername · 15/09/2019 13:11

Totally agree with @Bookworm4 and was actually going to say that I would change everyone to my maiden name. I'm curious why you gave it up if you like it so much? Quite frankly, Head is a rubbish surname and if were your DH I would have been glad for an excuse to change it. Or did he insist that you change your surname too?

Original poster
catlike1979 · 15/09/2019 13:07

@Bookworm4 he's quite traditional about it (surprisingly as he's very modern and forward thinking about pretty much everything else!) and was really, really unimpressed when I brought up the subject of changing my name, never mind the whole family's!

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 15/09/2019 13:02

Why is your DH so keen to hang onto this awful name? Lots of surnames over time have been changed, anglicised etc, I know a few families who took the mums surname.

Original poster
catlike1979 · 15/09/2019 12:59

@Whoops75 I would love to use my name. I really love my maiden name. The problem is that DH isn't keen at all, and our 3 year old DS now has the surname Head. It all feels a bit too stressful and rushed to
talk now at the last minute about changing our name - DH is adamant that we all have the same surname so if we used my maiden name for this baby, we would all have to change our names. Argh. I'm so stressed about it :-(

OP posts:
yellowallpaper · 15/09/2019 12:47

Did not read post Blush. I thought Head was a first name. I agree a 2 syllable first name to go with his surname.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 15/09/2019 12:46

Head does seem a lot trickier than other one syllable surnames for some reason.

I don’t think it goes well. If you are set on Rafe, which I quite like, I’d go for the longer Raphael too.

I think Head would work better with a longer name and a diminutive short name.

Original poster
catlike1979 · 15/09/2019 12:45

I like Frederick but then Fred Head awful
William Head nice but Willy Head will be jokes in the playground (synyonomous with D*ck head!)

OP posts:
yellowallpaper · 15/09/2019 12:45

Oh dear god! Is Head an actual name? Please no, he will be teased mercilessly with major sexual innuendo being to the fore.

Rafe is nice though

Original poster
catlike1979 · 15/09/2019 12:44

I like Raphael but think sounds too Spanish!

OP posts:
Badolddays · 15/09/2019 12:41

I don’t like Rafe anyway. What about Raphael?

20viona · 15/09/2019 12:35

It doesn't sound the best.

Mermaidoutofwater · 15/09/2019 12:34

Please don’t use Rafe. It sounds and looks like another word you would never want associated with your lovely baby. In combination with your surname it is horrible.

Badolddays · 15/09/2019 12:34

I would choose a longer name which takes the emphasis away from Head eg Nathaniel, Gabriel, Sebastian.

MissSueFlay · 15/09/2019 12:31

I think you need a long first name to work with the short surname

Montgomery Head
Christopher Head
Frederick Head
William Head

Whoops75 · 15/09/2019 12:31

I think names like Jacob and
Lucas work.

You could use Michael James and call him MJ