I hate the baby name he wants!!

Obviously do not cave and use the name. Don’t even think about it! The fact that he has got his family involved is completely out of order.

Also, who’s surname is the baby going to have? If he’s insisting on his because ‘tradition’ (regardless of who is actually carrying / birthing the baby) then I think you should get even more say than him on her first names.

Equal say means you both have to like it. Better to have a name you both quite like than one where is loved and hated equally.

Tell him the name is off the table. He can then start thinking of some alternatives.

Use it as a middle name and as you've said OH instead of DH are your last names different? Use yours and use a first name you both like.

Maybe have two middle names and you use a family name from your side too.

He does get a say but you're both the parents so your child shouldn't have a first name either of you hate.

Doesn’t matter what the name is, just no way.

Equal day means it has to be something you both agree on. That might mean neither of you gets your favourite, but neither of you can expect the other to use a name you dislike.

No clue why have is in capitals :)

What is the name? Is there another variation that is possible to use? Like Isabella is a form of Elizabeth. This might be a good way to compromise.

My children are not called any of the names I thought I would name them pre children because dh and I did HAVE equal say. It meant he got to veto names he didn't like and I got the veto names I didnt like.

DS has a middle name I would never in a million years have picked but he is named after dh's late brother who dh was very close to. So I stepped back there accepting that took precedence to what I would have preferred (luckily it goes well with his first name)

However our childrens names were many hours of debating negotiating and discussions and now 15 years + I still love them and feel we made good choices.

Not a chance in hell. Middle name at a push or not at all. Demand to call her something outrageous due to 'family connections' and see how he likes it!!!

Tell him to fuck off. You should have shut him down immediately.

Just say it's never going to happen so come up with other suggestions.

"If it's a boy, he can pick. If it's a girl, I can pick"

That's where the issue lies. You should pick a name together, for either sex.

Nope-if one person doesn’t like the name, it’s off the list.

Equal day=equal veto

You can not call a child anything that has negative connotations for one parent.

Name chosing is hard.

Is there another form of the name that is different enough to be ok but still has that link. For example Catherine has many different spellings and derivatives. Kathy, Cassie, Irene, etc

And how dare he suggest it to the family before you’ve decided?!!

Equal say means you both have to agree . Is he a bit dim?

What’s the name?

As for ‘equal say’, I guess he’s going to push a bowling ball out of his arse too, is he? Just to keep things equal.

He sounds like a twat.

It's not equal if you don't like it.
Say it's not happening and the name will be something you agree on.

Equal say but also equal VETO! We have always said that if one of us says a point blank no to a name, then that’s it, they don’t even need a good reason.

"I get equal say

Does he not understand what EQUAL means? It means YOU get a say the same as he does not that he gets to choose

It’s batshit agreeing one if you gets to choose if it’s a bit or a girl - you BITH need to like your child’s name

At the end of it - you can register her birth without him anyway so he’s only getting a say because you’re letting him have one, if you want to look at the reality if it.

Don’t cave because it’ll affect your relationship with your daughter.

If the rest of the bloody family think it’s shch a fab idea they’re all st liberty to use it and to change their existing girls names if they’re not planning on more babies...see how they fancy that!!

Give him equal say, agree you both have to like the name. But, as you also get an equal say, his mother’s name is a no. Ask him for his next suggestion. Don’t even discuss middle names.

He sounds like a peach

You should agree a name for a child.

Why arent you married? Whats the wider situation here?

Ditto everyone else - this needs to be equal (as in true equal) say. If either of you hate a name, it doesn't get used and you find a different one that you can both live with.

I really don't like the idea that "You do the boys names I do the girls names" are you suddenly not going to care what name a boy has?
What if you never have a boy? Does he never get an input?

Agree with others, if he absolutely has to have it then make it a middle name. It's really crap to bring his family in to pile on the pressure, don't be bullied into anything.

You are going about this the wrong way. Neither of you should get to pick without input from the other, regardless of the baby’s sex. You need a boy’s name and a girl’s name that you BOTH like. Start making lists and find a compromise.

Just be straight with him. Big fat 'NOT A CHANCE'.
I'd be mightily pissed off he'd got his family on-side too and I wouldn't be using it as a middle name either.

He gets EQUAL say so you have as much right to say no!!

Fuck that, he doesn't get to pick a name you don't like. Shut it down. Don't discuss it anymore. If he loves that name so much he can buy a goldfish and call it that.

And why is he discussing it with extended family as though they get a vote? Sort this out NOW, or he will do it for every parenting decision.

Tell him you are not raising your child by committee. He needs to grow up and make parenting decisions with you alone, not his family of origin.