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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Baby name choice - regret - change or keep

87 replies

1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 11:46

New to mumsnet and looking to canvass some honest opinion outside of the main circle of people I know. My partner and I whittled baby names for our new boy down to a few. We had a lot of trouble deciding any boys names and have an older son for which a name decision was difficult as well. For a long time, I'd just assumed we'd call the lad a certain name we'd been joking about assuming he'll just be called when he arrives. In the end, we didn't use it.

I thought I was ambivalent between the names and my partner had a definite preference, so we named our lad that. During the name registration itself, we were going to change the middle name to something I liked much better than what we originally decided, but I got cold feet about it and didn't make the change.

We agreed a name that will be the formal name, but instead we'll use the nickname (the nickname adds a letter to the formal name so it's not a straight nickname and if people hear the formal name, they may call him a different nickname). I don't particularly like the default nickname from the formal name but we'd agreed we just won't use it, however this has not been true now that the name is in use.

There was another name I loved and we were going to use, but it is one of those many people would think is a girl's name rather than a boy's name if seen on paper. I decided this just was unfair to do to the child because his brother has a normal male name. Living in a city, it seemed like it would be a "trendy" or "hipster" name especially since we are very English and the name is very Eastern European generally and we have no Eastern European roots.

So now I'm not sure if I should change his name to the one I had always assumed it was going to be, change it to the "trendy" name that I had loved or try to get used to this one and get over the regret that went into this name being decided (we absolutely rushed the naming as my partner thought my indecision was similar to my previous indecision for my previous son). And if we change the name, a) are we damaging him forever as the original would always be on the long form birth certificate? b) should we try to keep this current name with him as a middle name?

Sorry, quite a long one! Very grateful for any opinions on this though.

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Nonnymum · 13/05/2019 14:34

I know a boy sasha and that is his full name I isn't associate it with a girl at all. Neither would I associate Alex with a girl tbh.
Is the baby still very young. If he knows his name it will be difficult. If he is still tiny just pick the name you like. For what it's worth I think Sasha is lovely

Clownfish123 · 13/05/2019 14:28

I completely understand how you feel. It is so hard to find the perfect name. Personally I would go with George. It is traditional like your other sons name and Georgie is cute for a little one. It's well known, classic and timeless.
Don't go with Alexander if you don't like Alex as he may well decide to be Alex as it is by far the most common shortening. For what it's worth I don't particularly like Sacha and think it is quite girly.
Ted/Teddy is a nice name but you're clearly not sure on it after a month of using it. Use George for a month and see how it feels.

Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 14:19

And yes, Alex risk did seem to much!

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Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 14:18

Lavenderblues - yes, I had realised that beforehand. However I don't like the Sasha spelling as to me it looks much more like the feminine name. But, Sacha in English can get people thinking Satch-a as pronunciation I'm sure. Again this was the line of thinking that struck the name out originally.

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Lavenderblues · 13/05/2019 14:13

Sacha is the French spelling btw.

Lavenderblues · 13/05/2019 14:12

Alex is truly unisex, short for Alexandra and Alexander. I know more male Sascha/Sashas, it's very popular in Eastern Europe/Germany.

If you're not keen on Alex I probably wouldn't risk Alexander.

Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 14:00

MikeUnifirmMike - sadly I really don't care for Eddy as the name. Agreed on Xander, which is why Sandy seems slightly dangerous :)

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MikeUniformMike · 13/05/2019 13:37

Forgot to say, I don't like Xander.
Call him Eddy.

MikeUniformMike · 13/05/2019 13:36

I like Alexander, Alex, Sacha and Sandy. Alex, Sacha and Sandy are unisex, but I know more male Alexes than female and I know a male Sascha and female Sasha.
I like George. I like Edward, but I don't like Ned, and Ted/Teddy is overpopular. Eddy is nicer.

Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 13:36

BuroingFrog - yep regarding him going by Alex someday. I get the feeling if the name had been right, that would be first son's name. Although as some say, maybe first son was not an Alexander but this one is.

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BurpingFrog · 13/05/2019 13:29

Sorry OP, cross posted re "Alex"

BurpingFrog · 13/05/2019 13:28

OP, I have taught a lot of boys called Alexander and a friend’s new baby has that name too. I don’t think its nicknames are girly and nobody's been teased. Three of the Alexanders I know are Sachas, and it’s been a non-issue for them.

That said, he might want to be known as Alex instead -- how would you feel about that? I was tempted to name my son Benedict, nickname Ned or Neddy, but didn't as I wasn't as keen on Ben, which I thought he might end up becoming. (Interested about the Scottish issue with Ned - hadn't known that!).

You have till he is 12 months to officially change it, or even longer if you can prove the new name was in common use before 12 months. My advice is don’t rush it officially: try calling him Sasha, or George, or whatever, and see which feels right.

It feels a big deal now regarding telling friends and family etc, but in the long run nobody will even think about the fact he changed his name, or that there was a period of time when his name was uncertain.

Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 13:27

lemonjam - yep, I'm in same position. This exact name got batted about for first son too and we didn't do it then.

MercyBodle - partner knows how much this is getting at me so is pretty much on board no matter what I choose.

Justkeeprolkingalong - yes, one brother having a very traditional name and another having very unique is not ideal in my mind. And if he changed it someday from Sacha to Alex, I'd respect it but be a little sad. And yes, that is current name - most people we know like it and think it fits well with my other son. However, think they like it on the full name. As my other son's name is also very traditional, I wonder if part of what I don't like as well is one very traditional name and one nickname type name.

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MercyBodle · 13/05/2019 13:17

I don't see a problem with any of the names you've mentioned including the ones you've used - and don't see a problem with using Sacha/Alexander no matter where you are from, and don't see a problem with George Alexander (both straightforward popular names so wouldn't worry about ref to royalty).

So, in the end you need to work out what you want, not what other people will think of you. Why don't you try out your preferred options and see if you can clarify what you really want. It is definitely not too late to change (even after 12 months it can be done.) And you might need to emphasise the strength of your feelings to your DH if he doesn't get it.

And just by the way nns for George could be Georgie, Geordie, Jory (Cornish), Joe.

Justkeeprollingalong · 13/05/2019 13:17

Alexander is a great name and Alex is definitely unisex but my favourite is Ted (for Edward) -I think that is the name he is currently called? If so stick with it, an excellent name.
Definitely not Sacha, especially not if his brother has a traditional boy's name.

lemonjam · 13/05/2019 13:16

I love Sacha. Probably wouldn’t be brave enough to use it, but I love it.

Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 13:07

Snowdrop - did you legally change the name Maxwell after registration? And do you still regret not using Humphrey?

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Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 13:06

ChicCroissant - no, I don't suspect any PND. I have always been very indecisive though so this probably does not help at all. You are spot on about the nicknames/formal name, that's what put me off. Especially since partner said we wouldn't use Edward/Eddie/Ed much (as I'd suggested why not just switch to Theodore for Ted/Teddy) and then straight away used that after registering - which hadn't been done when name was road tested.

My other son has a name that has some nicknames but you'd FULLY change the name, so probably not likely unless he decides himself that he'll be referred to by something else.

This is what is attracting me to George so much, it's the name I'd assumed the lad would be, it can't really be nicknamed too badly and he can have a cutesy toddler name Georgie but then when he's older his whole name hasn't changed.

DaddysGirl36 - no offence taken, you have encapsulated my concerns on that name entirely. It feels like to name him Sacha is for me rather than for him.

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snowdrop6 · 13/05/2019 13:00

I rushed in to my second child’s name.i was going to call him maxwell.but then the lady in the bed opposite told me she was calling her son max.
I have no idea why ,but I felt I just couldn’t call my baby maxwell..so I picked something different.
My third child was Humphrey..
From the minute he was born I knew I wanted to call him Humphrey .but my dh said my hormones were confusing me and it wasn’t a good name.
So we didn’t

DaddysGirl36 · 13/05/2019 12:58

I have a Ted, full name & he gets lots of compliments.

I love George but my DH doesn't & I know lots of baby George's

Alexander is a lovely name too but I have a female Alex in the family & so couldn't choose it

In terms of the shortenings for Alexander then I think Alex or Xander would be the only ones I'd use, they are also lovely. Sacha - I think is girly. Sandy - I think of a nickname from a surname such as Sanderson & it was also our dogs name. Sorry I know those are your preferences

ChicCroissant · 13/05/2019 12:57

OP, assuming that you are not suffering from PND (which is often the case with name change threads) then I do think that you are overthinking the nickname side of things. Children will come up with their own nicknames for their classmates.

You are trying to come up with two names really - the formal name and your own preferred nickname of it, is it the fact that people are not using your preferred nickname that has put you off? Because that will happen.

BigusBumus · 13/05/2019 12:48

I LOVE the name Sacha for a boy. Please use it if you love it!! I don't think of it being hipster or Eastern European, its just a fabulous strong boys name.

PuppyMonkey · 13/05/2019 12:45

I know two people called Alex - both male. TBH it never even occurred to me that it’s a more “female” name. It’s the definitive unisex name imho.

Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 12:43

To be honest, I'm still not getting any that "feel" like him type thing. This is why my partner thought it would be best just to commit to something and get on with it. I also thought committing to it and announcing it would sort this all out, but if that was the case I don't think I'd be typing on here right now!

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Original poster
1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 12:41

I think I'm really trying to suss if I actually want to change the name we finally agreed on or if it's more that I want to go back in time and redo the whole thing since it was all so rushed (admittedly, I am certain this may have resulted in a different name).

I'm scared if I weren't to change the name and I never get used to it though, then it will always be a regret...and I absolutely love my first baby's name, I'd feel bad not having the same kind of love for this baby's name.

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