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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Baby name choice - regret - change or keep

87 replies

1mummyinabigcity · 13/05/2019 11:46

New to mumsnet and looking to canvass some honest opinion outside of the main circle of people I know. My partner and I whittled baby names for our new boy down to a few. We had a lot of trouble deciding any boys names and have an older son for which a name decision was difficult as well. For a long time, I'd just assumed we'd call the lad a certain name we'd been joking about assuming he'll just be called when he arrives. In the end, we didn't use it.

I thought I was ambivalent between the names and my partner had a definite preference, so we named our lad that. During the name registration itself, we were going to change the middle name to something I liked much better than what we originally decided, but I got cold feet about it and didn't make the change.

We agreed a name that will be the formal name, but instead we'll use the nickname (the nickname adds a letter to the formal name so it's not a straight nickname and if people hear the formal name, they may call him a different nickname). I don't particularly like the default nickname from the formal name but we'd agreed we just won't use it, however this has not been true now that the name is in use.

There was another name I loved and we were going to use, but it is one of those many people would think is a girl's name rather than a boy's name if seen on paper. I decided this just was unfair to do to the child because his brother has a normal male name. Living in a city, it seemed like it would be a "trendy" or "hipster" name especially since we are very English and the name is very Eastern European generally and we have no Eastern European roots.

So now I'm not sure if I should change his name to the one I had always assumed it was going to be, change it to the "trendy" name that I had loved or try to get used to this one and get over the regret that went into this name being decided (we absolutely rushed the naming as my partner thought my indecision was similar to my previous indecision for my previous son). And if we change the name, a) are we damaging him forever as the original would always be on the long form birth certificate? b) should we try to keep this current name with him as a middle name?

Sorry, quite a long one! Very grateful for any opinions on this though.

OP posts:

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ThreeLuckyStars · 11/12/2024 19:03

emmar88 · 13/05/2019 18:56

I named my son Alexander originally and was going to use the name Xander as a NN. Soon realised after birth everyone was naturally going to call him Alex (which I don't like !!) I changed his name to George in the end x

How does it feel a few years on? Does he feel like his new name? What was it like telling people about the change?

Original poster

1mummyinabigcity · 19/06/2019 18:55

Ha, wish I could've tried them out for an entire year but that might be slightly too long for me!

@Tyburn - that is totally true...in fact, I myself have been known by two specific nicknames rather than my actual name for many years! But they are not name nicknames if that makes sense.

OP posts:

Tyburn · 19/06/2019 14:37

Pssht. Nobody really cares about 'real' names vs 'family names', so go for whatever .

To this day I have one paternal uncle who's real name is John who everyone knows/calls David, and on my maternal side an Andrew who for 50 years of his life was known as Ben.

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 18/06/2019 18:53

Sacha/Sasha is one of my favourite names for a boy, I guessed that might be your other one! Why give him a name you don't like just because of what other people might think? It's a boy's name, a lovely one, and he's your son

Hecateh · 18/06/2019 14:28

The only Sacha I can think of is Sacha Distel but just googled the name and only men come up Sacha Baron Cohen and Sacha Gervasi who is a British American film director so obviously hasn't caused him any problems. I think Sasha is the female version but it does sound the same.

My nephew's 3rd child didn't have his name fixed until he was a year old. They kept trying 2 or 3 names over the first year and eventually decided just before he was a year old - and not the one I expected either.

Original poster

1mummyinabigcity · 18/06/2019 14:17

@cantfindname - I'm glad you hadn't read the thread first to leave that comment. I didn't even think of that and we already have people asking about "when's the girl" even though our family is definitely complete! I can also totally imagine that thought going through someone's mind.

@llangennith - I can see why you would say that and this is the trouble, some people definitely have a tendency to overthink it I reckon. It feels enormous naming someone although when you meet people you never really think twice about their name generally! So can definitely see the point that it is being overthought about.

@milkshake435 - glad you went through with what feels right!

From reading quite a few name regret threads, it seemed when it genuinely was about the actual name rather than any other issues, most people who didn't change it on the balance regretted not changing it more than those who did change it regretted having done the change. So regret over not changing it seemed to outweigh fear of what people would think/reaction from others.

OP posts:

milkshake435 · 18/06/2019 12:42

*not the obvious shortening

milkshake435 · 18/06/2019 12:41

I’m
Glad your settled on a name :)
I feel comments like the above ‘ you were seriously overthinking the whole name thing’ are not needed in supporting OP.
I too have been through , emotions regarding my DD name and it consumes your thoughts massively and to you it seems like a big deal although not to others. I actually officially changed my DD name in the first 12 months as we always called her a shortening which is the obvious and after introducing her , taking her to doctors etc and being called the lingering name , it just began to play on my mind and not identify my DD , whereas the short name was her. Therefore we changed it. I think it shows strength in a person to change their child’s name and their decisions are important to them.

llangennith · 18/06/2019 12:03

Glad you went with George. You were seriously overthinking the whole name thing!

Tavannach · 18/06/2019 05:32

Should've read the full thread. George is lovely.

Tavannach · 18/06/2019 05:29

There's also Ned for Edward.

I like Sasha (more than Sacha) for Alexander.

Durgasarrow · 18/06/2019 05:03

Alex is fine as a boy's name. So is Sacha. I would go for it.

cantfindname · 18/06/2019 04:38

ooops didn't RTFT. Well done OP, George is another lovely traditional name and leaves lots of options for nicknames.

cantfindname · 18/06/2019 04:36

I'm going to be no help whatsoever and say I like all the names mentioned.

Particularly Ted (I have known some lovely Teds) I love traditional names and their variants.

Alexander is also a lovely name and my only reservation about then calling him Sacha is that some small minded person is bound to think that you wanted 2nd baby to be a girl and so are compromising. Believe me there is always one!

Astronica · 18/06/2019 04:02

Thanks for the update, and good outcome for you. And appreciate your advice for others in the same situation, that in the end it's not a big deal to change and tell others. This situation seems to be fairly common.

CalamityJess · 17/06/2019 18:39

Love George. Good choice OP. Glad you feel good about it.

AverageMummy · 17/06/2019 18:03

Oops missed the update sorry - pleased you sorted it

AverageMummy · 17/06/2019 18:02

I changed my baby’s name & it was slightly weird for people at first but quickly became normal & I am so pleased I did. As long as your baby hasn’t been christened it’s very easy to do whilst they are small.

Antonin · 17/06/2019 16:50

Thanks for the update OP. I often wonder what the final decision is.
Can’t really tell go wrong with George.
Enjoy the your wee ones

whatausername · 17/06/2019 16:24

So glad to hear you've sorted it all out and that you're happier now :-)

Original poster

1mummyinabigcity · 17/06/2019 16:08

@ToftheB - "Eddie is lovely for a little one, and he’ll have plenty of options for when he’s old enough to have his own preference." This was part of my issue...I just can't get used to Ed/Eddie/Eddy as a shortening.

To update and conclude this, since Tedward isn't a real, actual name and we liked using Edward the formal name as well, it was a real mess. If I could keep people from ever calling the lad Ed/Eddie and still use Edward, that would be amazing. But since that won't happen the name has been changed and he is now George. Hopefully since it's traditional name swapped with traditional name when all is said and done for him, it really doesn't matter.

Alexander just didn't work as per the shortening test...don't like all of the shortnames and doing a "known as" vs "official name" brought back the same issues as the original name.

It was worth waiting before making any rash decision to really see if it was the name that is the issue or if it was anything due to new baby, post-birth. Suffice to say, it definitely was the name!

I can honestly say if you read this and are feeling doubt, don't be concerned about having to tell people about the change. Most people are focused on their own lives and issues so this is just becomes an interesting "I have a friend who once...blah blah blah" for them. A piece of history and it stays where it belongs in the past.

OP posts:

ToftheB · 16/05/2019 08:33

I’m a little biased - but can I just speak up for Edward? It’s the perfect name, classic, solid, classless and I like all of the shortenings. Eddie is lovely for a little one, and he’ll have plenty of options for when he’s old enough to have his own preference.

I like all of your other options op, especially Alex, but Edward is my favourite.

Pepperdino · 15/05/2019 11:15

Teddys are everywhere at this stage. Teddy Tsunami.

ReganSomerset · 15/05/2019 10:08

Sacha feels like a name I would expect to find in London. I am worried the same may also be the case for a name like Teddy.

I know a baby Teddy in the Midlands, if it helps. Given name, not short for anything.

Original poster

1mummyinabigcity · 14/05/2019 15:52

@spellingtest - yes, this seems to be common with Alexander as a name, Alex is too much a default for people to resist.

@ReganSomerset - yes, it feels like something that could just be a time thing rather than anything else. Especially as time goes on, it could be weird to go another way.

@3luckystars - we did do that and it resulted in a few other names being cut. Maybe worth a repeat to see how I feel now.

@TatianaLarina - with no offence to any Sachas, Sacha feels like a name I would expect to find in London. I am worried the same may also be the case for a name like Teddy. George as a name seems like it could be a child from anywhere. And yes, a slight bit of control for the usage by rights of the initial name is nice, and then otherwise it is out of your hands. Which is why I'm concerned this guy will wind up an Eddie.

@pineapplepatty - why did the Sacha you know hate his name so much?

@spellingtest - yes, it was assumed no matter how much asking were to happen, Alexander being 4 syllables will always get shortened by default by a lot of people.

OP posts:

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