How late is too late to add an extra middle name, or do I just accept things as they are?

For confirmation we got to add a second name, I’ve never used it.
My kids took my maiden name as their confirmation name.

Maybe it’s just the way your posts are written but you sound unpleasantly controlling. You got free reign with choice of first name, twice. You got your husband to agree to having a middle name when he didn’t want any, twice. You got to choose that middle name, twice. And now, eight years later, you are unpicking your hisband’s memories of a happy and harmonious process of naming your children?

Apart from all of that, I always think it isn’t a right to choose your child’s name, it’s a responsibility. A new baby doesn’t have a name, so you choose the name. But from then on, it’s that person’s name, it belongs to her/him as an individual. You no longer should tinker around with it. Change your own name and add all the middle names you could dream of. But don’t cause this confusion, bureaucratic headache and messing for your children, just to satisfy your own whim and to “prove” yourself right against your husband.

I really regret not adding a second middle name or going for a different one than the family name we did go with (very dull but made an elderly relative happy).
I don't think DS or anyone else will be that bothered about it though.

I'd love another go at naming a baby but sadly it's not to be.

Similar to you I really wanted middle names but my DH didn’t and as I chose the first names I didn’t push it.
I wanted to give our DD my grandmother’s name as a middle name, which by coincidence was also DH’s grandmother’s name so would have been a lovely way to remember them both and a nice connection for our DD.
Happened to mention it to DD when she was about 7 and she loved the idea and now writes and signs her name including the middle name on everything... although we haven’t added it officially and will not be doing so.
She’s 9 now and might grow out of it but it’s quite sweet at the moment.

At those ages I'd discuss with them, I don't think you could unilaterally add a middle name unless the children liked and agreed - if they do, great! My mum added one informally at 11!

My DP agreed to let me add the second middle name I wanted when our DD was about a month old and I considered it lots. She's now 11 months and I've decided not to bother! Plus the letters in my daughters names are consecutively 4, 6 & 8 letters long, which we agreed is oddly pleasing 😂 so the 2nd middle name would have ruined that haha.

Having had a long name please dont add in a middle name - its a right pain when it doesnt all fit in and you have to write for ages.

Plus it would be for you but its not your name anymore it is theirs. They are old enough now to know there name and therefore IMO too late to change

How often will these added middle names be used? If purely on documents I think it's just a waste of time and a bit silly.

I would just stick to the names they have, it isn’t going to really affect them. Unless they are really keen on getting another middle name and everyone is on board! x

Hi really think you need to let this go.

They have a given name you’re pleased with.

They have a middle name.

You want them to have another middle name? As walking talking mini people? It’s all a bit indulgent.

They won't use an extra middle name anyway so what's the point? Get a hamster and name double barrel the names to name it. Leave your kids alone. You would be creating an additional pita for no reason.

So for my 50th I treated myself and I am now Ruth Elizabeth.

That's lovely. Well done, you.

If they're old enough to discuss it with, then yes, I think that's too old. Up to a year, maybe, though it seems a bit pointless to me. Just accept that their names are their names now and let it go. Middle names really don't matter much anyway.

You can use the additional names without doing a legal name change. I used my confirmation name after my middle name for years without any name change after school accidentally put it on my GCSE entries, never caused any problems.
If you got yourself some kind of decorative object or jewellery with the names plus extra middle names, would that scratch the itch?

Sounds like a self-indulgent waste of time tbh. You get to bestow their names at birth, but once they become verbal and begin moving through the world their names belong to them e.g. Catherine decides if she's to be known as Kathy, Katy, or Kitty. Or Isadora. Or John.

The beautifully named Ruth Elizabeth demonstrates this, I think. She's changed it because it's hers.

In answer to your question I didn't have a middle name and have wanted one since I was 10. My mum regretted not giving me one but didn't think it was necessary at the time.

My grandmother was Elizabeth, my mum is Brenda Elizabeth and my dd (adult) is Florence Elizabeth May. She got two to make up for my lack of name.

So for my 50th I treated myself and I am now Ruth Elizabeth.

Please don't mess with their names. You don't know where they'll end up living or who they will end up marrying. Name changes and name stuff can be a total nightmare if paperwork isn't straightforward. Not everywhere is like the UK and life can be so hard when all you want is to get a new passport with the right name in it. Speaking from experience.

Virtually obviously please don’t actually assault him

Punch him instead

I know someone who decided to add an extra middle to both her kids' names when they were 4 and 1 year old. (Similar story to yours - in the end he really didn't mind....whereas she felt strongly about it). This was in Australia so don't know how different to where you are, but it was quite straightforward.