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Baby names

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Original poster

When DH vetoes your favorite name

34 replies

Lampy123 · 28/02/2019 15:47

What do you do when your DH strongly dislikes your favorite name? A name you always wanted to name your girl. But due to people in his past or family members he had a bad association with, he doesn't want the name, in fact is using his one "veto" for it. If I strongly urge him then he will say okay, but then there's always knowing he doesn't like the name.

What are your thoughts? What would you do? Will he possibly get over the bad association once he has bonded with the baby?

The name is Catherine (or any variation of it like Kate, Katherine, etc.)

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RiverTam · 28/02/2019 16:05

ah OK - sorry, drew the wrong conclusion from 'bad association'. Still, it's clearly a longstanding negative association.

You have to have a name you both like.

Original poster
Lampy123 · 28/02/2019 16:01

RiverTam - whoa, that's not the case and if it was obviously this wouldn't be a question. It's more innocuous than that, he just doesn't like his family members with that name or somw annoying girls he knew in high school.

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 28/02/2019 16:01

That's more reasonable.

I wouldn't want my DH thinking of someone else when looking at DD, especially someone who has caused him pain.

Quintella · 28/02/2019 15:58

You have to let it go I'm afraid. Especially since in his case the name has a bad association with someone from his past, rather than it just being a case of 'nah, don't like the sound of that name'. There are certain names that I just could not be persuaded to use and no amount of cajoling would change my mind.

RiverTam · 28/02/2019 15:55

You choose a different name

Imagine if he chose a boy's name (for example) that was the name of your abuser. Would you be all right with that?

Gazelda · 28/02/2019 15:54

Choose a different name that you both like. To pressure him would be very, very unreasonable.

Original poster
Lampy123 · 28/02/2019 15:54

The "one" veto is not really one, we can veto as many names as needed actually. But we both get one veto for the name the other absolutely adores, no questions asked, no discussion. Since this veto, he has vetoed other names I like too (and I've vetoed some of his too)

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 28/02/2019 15:49

You both have to agree on the name. Find a new one. You might get a compromise of a middle name.

Out of curiosity, why does he only get one veto? We discounted hundreds of names for DD.

Teatreealoe · 28/02/2019 15:48

I would choose a different one or have it as a middle name. But it's up to you. It was important to me that we both liked the name we went with.