Can we triple barrel our child's name?

You could give the child a completely unrelated surname. if you wanted to.

@TooManySurnames I'm in almost the exact same position, although DH will not counter triple-barreling (thankfully). He is very much of the view that his González-Peters equivalents are "both his name", and he simply can't pick one. I suspect that this is quite a deep-rooted worry about hurting the feelings of one of his parents, especially his mum who has the less attractive name.

I have offered to go with whatever arrangement of one of his names and mine he preferred, and even said I would change mine (which I didn't change after marriage) to it in order to prove my commitment to it. But no- "they're both my name; it would be like you picking one syllable of yours". This was compounded after his dad disclosed recently that he's regretted DB'ing DH's surname from day one- DH now thinks if he gives in he'll regret it like his dad does.

He's normally a very sensible man, but he's being uncharacteristically obtuse about this. Present plan is to wait until after baby arrives and he can try and argue with me about it then, after I've gone through the trials of pregnancy and birth.

Ah, Mike already explained. Sorry

My child BTW has his father's surname and mine as a middle name. So firstname, middle name, my surname as second middle name, father's surname as surname. But we will informally go with first name, surname

Three is too many. The Spanish traditionally have both mother and father surnames but don't take both to their married name. For good reason.

Where do you put the end to the doubling? What's your child supposed to do, add your three names to their partner's two (assuming they are double-barrelled)?

Your dh needs to drop one of his. He can either used the Spanish tradition or randomly choose the one he likes best.

I'm sure you know this but in Spain / countries with similar naming styles the parents have their own double barrelled surnames Carmen Ruiz Gonzales and Juan Gómez Zamora. When they have a baby they each give the baby one name so the baby is Little Gómez Ruiz . Not Little Gómez Ruiz González Zamora . (I'm getting ideas for my next name change though!)

So your DH is being U. He can pick one name for your baby's surname and you give one. Three surnames is simply ridiculous

The OP's name shouldn't be shuffled to middle name status.

I think your suggestion is good Bigly.

We gave dd my surname as a middle name rather than double barrel. It was mine as the middle name just because it sounded terrible the other way around. It means we can use it when we want to but it's simpler for her when at school and filling forms and things. I do think three surnames would be a bit much for her to have to use all the time.

As an aside I love double barrelled names where they're two names from different cultures.

I'm guessing your DH is of spanish or latin american heritage.
CnP from wiki
"Spanish naming customs are historical traditions for naming children practised in Spain. According to these customs, a person's name consists of a given name (simple or composite) followed by two family names (surnames). The first surname is usually the father's first surname, and the second the mother's first surname."

so your baby would be Firstname Gonzalez Austen.
I'm ignoring your DH's surname being double barrelled.
You could hyphenate Gonzalez and Austen.
as pp have suggested.

I have met people who’s parents were double barrelled and got both so John Smith-Brown-Jones-White. It’s very upper class and that’s what I’d assume, unless there were obviously other cultures at play. Mainly after a week it will be the child’s name and after 20 years no one will ever notice.
Also my dm has 4 middle names (so 6 in total) and it’s never been a problem for passports or other forms.

He think's we should use both names as surnames, but without hyphenating:

[John] [González-Peters Austen]/ [Austen González-Peters]

If you do this then the one that comes first will disappear quite quickly - people will assume it's a middle name and it'll just get dropped. That may or may not be a solution to your dilemma!

*Second middle name of Gonzales

We have already done this (I'm taking his name to make three)
Mine will be, let's say, A Gonzales Peters-Austen and my child will have a second middle name too of Austen but on a school register it'll come through as Peters-Austen - does this make any sense haha

Surely the simple rule when naming a child is that the child is more important than the parents, grandparents or anyone else.

I’d go with father’s first surname, mother’s first surname as per Spanish tradition and use the Peters part as some form of given name for a nod to the Grandparent who’s left out, but only if that really was going to upset someone because that leaves one maternal grandparent still left out. Thinking of other people’s sensitivity could land the poor child with the longest name ever 😏

I'd much prefer 3 than a collaboration of the names pushed together. I'm just imagining the picture I would build of a person based from their CV, for example. The 3 barrelled name would immediately make me think of public school boys, a made up mashed together name would make me think local comp. I don't say that in a disrespectful way please don't get me wrong.

I've taken my maiden name as a middle name on marriage and it causes no end of confusion in England. People tend to double barrel it with my surname but then it isn't a name that would be used as a forename so I can understand the confusion!

Use one part of his surname and hyphenate it with yours then could you use the second part of his name as a middle name eg Instead of Peters use Peter or Petra if his actual name would work?

Try combining - a friend combined Smith and Good and became Goodsmiths

Gonzalez Peters Austen for example could be:
Austers-Gonzalez

Austen-Petalez

If it’s at all possible with your actual 3 names then making one would be ideal as double barrelled kids often drop one anyway - for instance with these 3 it would be something like Austenalez

Can you not use the culturally relevant part of his name plus yours? Ie. Gonzalez-Austen

I was going to suggest that as well.

There is an upper class family in this country with a triple-barrelled surname: Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe (en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe).

It's very unusual to have a triple-barrelled name though in this country and I wouldn't saddle any children with one, so what would be the point? Just pick 2, max. If your DH is of Spanish background, so that his surname is his dad's then his mum's, then the "traditional" approach would be to put his dad's surname first, then your maiden name, and lose his mother's (but you could give his mother's surname as an extra middle name to any children).

yep, you're right. Three names is too much. Think of the extra stress at exam times! Also I don't think computers will cope, some have trouble with my two middle names.
Sam Taylor-Johnson was Sam Taylor-Wood before she married Aaron Johnson, and they both took the name Taylor-Johnson when they married.
so Baby Gonzalez-Austen.

I think 3 is too much. I really like your idea, I think it’s fair.

The only people I have met with triple barrelled names are super posh. I think it’s fine to use though. And ignore all the Mumsnetters who say your DC will be teased, all of mine have unusual names and have never been teased.

I like it!