Can we triple barrel our child's name?

The OP says neither of them will back down and that they're in a standoff @Skirmisher

Yes but the OP seems pretty determined to avoid the 'unworkable bitch of a name' scenario.

Double-barrelled names are standard in Hispanic culture. The structure is first half of father's surname followed by first half of mother's surname.

Would that work for your child?

I think it's ok to give all the names, but not to triple barrel them.

I'd go for your first option. One of his names as middle name and one from each of you as the double barrel name.

As a former immigrant to the UK, keeping the main surnames english makes life for the child much easier.

So, my vote goes fully to [John] [González] [Peters-Austen]

Really, with my one post on the matter. Ok.

Totally agree that if it is a hispanic name, then he's being hugely unreasonable.

Father: Pedro Lopez Cardinal
Mother: Ana Ruiz Garcia.
Child: Antonio LOPEZ RUIZ.

So in your case, the option is Child Gonzalez-Austen. Three surnames is far too much of a mouthful unless you're Spanish aristocracy.

Yes, and I think you're berating the people in this situation quite unnecessarily!

We have a similar dilemma, except one of the parents who provide one half of the double barrel is dead, so it requires my DH deciding whether he chooses to honour his dead parent, or the only living one. Names and families are complicated and it’s amazing how emotive this subject can be when you start delving into it. We haven’t come up with a solution yet. My name has 2 syllables, each of his is only one, so I’ve suggested just removing the hyphen and making his name a single name, so it’s the equivalent of Snarky Corr-Smith Johnson becoming Snarky Corrsmith-Johnson, but he’s still pushing back on that!

So what @LisaSimpsonsbff we are talking about this situation not any other one!

The OP says neither of them will back down and that they're in a standoff @Skirmisher

Yeah my surname is a middle name for dc and I wish now it wasn’t - I should have double barrelled.

But Lisa I'm referring to this egotistical battle of wills in which neither parent will back down, but would rather saddle their child with an unworkable bitch of a name instead.

Yeah, again, people don't seem to see it as an egotistical battle of wills when a man thinks the whole family should have his surname and nothing but. At least OP and her DH are trying to compromise and listen to each other and they're starting from the basic premise that they should both get an equal stake in this, they just disagree about how to do that. What 'oh it's no big deal for one name to go' currently equates to is women giving up their names the vast majority of the time.

egotistical battle of wills in which neither parent will back down, but would rather saddle their child with an unworkable bitch of a name instead.

But that's not the case here.

I agree with a few PP that you should run with the Hispanic method of dropping the mother's part of your DP's surname swing as that's what would have happened if you'd also been double-barrelled Hispanic (and you'd have also lost your mother's part of your name). Surely following the tradition is much more of a nod to his heritage than doing some compromise, maybe put it to your DP that way?

But Lisa I'm referring to this egotistical battle of wills in which neither parent will back down, but would rather saddle their child with an unworkable bitch of a name instead.

Having or not having part of a name doesn't make a child any less the product of two families coming together.

Surely if you have Spanish (or Portuguese) heritage you go with:

Father is Pancho Orozco Gonzalez (sorry can't do accents - because he got Orozco from his dad and Gonzalez from his mum)
Mother is Maria Cruz Diaz

Child is therefore Orozco Cruz and if you are in an English speaking country and you want people to understand that this is their last name, in toto, you use Orozco-Cruz.

So in your case
Baby Gonzalez-Austen

You can of course give them two surnames as in Spanish tradition
Baby Gonzalez Austen
And you can even tell people it's a two part surname. Whether you choose to do that depends on whether you want to keep on telling people.

My DCs have my last name as their final middle name and some people think they are double barrelled, or that we all are.

This is very silly. It's the equivalent of tattooing a child all over with 'MADE BY SUSAN AND JOHN GONZALEZ-AUSTIN-PETERS'

I think this is a bit unfair - no one says this about a man who wants his wife to change her name to his and then give it to the children too, even though that's arguably much more territorial. I can understand why the DH wants both names included, but it's just not practical and so he's going to have to compromise.

Basically what I'm saying is I don't view a middle name as the lesser option.

That's totally up to you, but for most people it is - and it tends, in a shocking coincidence, to be mostly women who end up having their name as a middle not a surname. Most people use their surname daily and their middle name very rarely.

This is very silly. It's the equivalent of tattooing a child all over with 'MADE BY SUSAN AND JOHN GONZALEZ-AUSTIN-PETERS'

The kid will still be the descendant of all it's ancestors. Your DH may as well pee all over the poor kid if he feels that territorial about it.

I suggest you both lose all the names and start from scratch with a name you choose together and both love. I've known three couples to do that!

Has anyone mentioned an email address? I went from a name 5 letters + 5 letters to a double barrel with extra 8 letters when I married. My choice. Then changed jobs to a company with 16 letters in its name +.co.uk

Fucking nightmare. Think about their professional life after school. Usernames and logins! Argh!!!

I just wanted to say that I in no way view having my surname as a middle name for dd as 'dropping my name'. She still has my name. It is on her birth certificate and that's not going to change. In fact should she ever decided to go all traditional and change her name upon marriage it is DH's name that will be dropped and she will still have mine. So in many ways my name as a middle name is a far more permanent fixture in her life than DH's as a surname might be.

Basically what I'm saying is I don't view a middle name as the lesser option.

I think is too many and will be a pain in the arse for form filling etc.
Picking one each and having the third as a middle name is a good compromise I think.

Really don't, I have seven seperate words in my non English surname and it's hell. The UK banking system can't cope with unusual acented letters, there isn't enough space on debit or credit cards. paperwork becomes a nightmare, setting up work email accounts is aweful and talking to call centers is unbelievably difficult.

Simplify your DC's life in this increasingly complicated world

There's no way that I'll consider using my name as the middle name - 2 name places, 2 parents, we each get 1. Dropping the name of an actual parent to avoid dropping the name of a grandparent is a bit crazy.