My husband won’t let me use a name that is v important to me

I don't think you can have a name if your DH doesn't agree to it. I love Nina, personally, and I think it's a much cooler and stronger name than Mila, which is, however, pleasant enough.
How about Nina as another middle name? Or Simone as a first name?

The name in daily use should be something both parents can at least tolerate.

However why does DH get to dictate both the surname and the forenames of your children? He has vetoed your surname, used his family forenames for the first child and wants to do the same for the second?

Compromise works both ways. Its your turn for a choice to take priority. Either she has your surname or your choice of a forename.

What on earth was his excuse for vetoing the double barrel option?

You can't expect him to call his own child a name that he hates
Even if he gives in, to please you, he'll probably never change his mind. Worst case scenario: he'd resent you and it could even affect his bond with the baby. It sounds extreme, but I've read threads here over the years where OPs went with a name because it meant a lot to their partner and massively regretted it.

There are a few names that I really hate, to the point that they make my skin crawl. There is just no way I could call my children those names, even if my dh had the same reasons you do for wanting those names.

It should be a decision that both of you make together.

There will always be one parent who isn't as keen on a name as the other parent, but I can't imagine naming one of our children a name and knowing that my dh hated it.

It's disappointing, of course, I get that, but you need to let it go and move on to another name that you can agree on.

Whilst I know that name means a lot to you, you cannot insist on it if he really doesn't like it.

Those who are saying you carried the baby it's your choice (or similar) are, quite frankly ignorant at best.

I agree with adding an additional middle name.

I'm really sorry but you need to have a first name you both love I would not be happy to be told my child was named x but she can your choice on middle and surname. Can Nina be a 2nd middle name and choose a brand new first name. I now know quite a few people who have 2 middle names.

Either parent imposing a first name that the other dislikes is unfair, it should be a joint decision. And it doesn't matter whether the person hates a name for a specific reason or just has an irrational dislike of it, both are a good enough reason not to use it. Surnames and middle names just aren't comparable to first names. Use Nina or Simone as an additional middle name, or honour your dad in a different way which will be meaningful to her - by playing/singing Nina Simone's tunes to your baby and telling her about your dad.

Actually the her having your surname makes perfect sense and is a way of honouring your Dad and the family name living on

Friends (who were married) did this the mum and daughter have her surname the son and Dad his

Our first child has the first name of DH’s grandfather. Luckily I liked that name a lot so didn’t suggest alternatives, but DH got to honour his family with that name.

So it's your turn now. Tell him not to worry, he'll come to love the name as he grows to love the child.

You still can’t use a name he hates, despite your 1 - 6 points above.

If you didn't change your surname, tell him your want her to have yours then. If you did then she has both your surnames. In which case two middle names that mean something to you and a neutral first name tbst is hers

I don’t have my DH’s surname. I didn’t change my name on marriage as I’m already established in my career using my maiden name.

Just wanted to say that “because I didn’t want to” is a perfectly good reason to keep the name you’ve presumably had your whole life.

Yet another thing 99% of men don’t give a passing thought.

Honour your Dad by using his surname, your Dd will then have a huge link back to him and then change yours by deed poll back to your maiden name to match.

Even if the OP had changed her surname on marriage, which is not how it reads to me, she would not need a deed poll to change back to her pre-marriage surname.

I seem to have woken up in the 1950s.

Patriarchy has really done a number on us to call a woman who wants one of the names of her child to be her decision, to be called bullying

The surname is irrelevant if you e changed your name to his as presumably you’re happy for that to be the family name.

Did you not change your surname on marriage op, is that why you're pointing out your daughter will have his surname? It's not your family name?

Two middle names. How difficult can that be? Make Nina the first middle name

You can't reasonably expect to use a name your husband hates. Have 2 second names.

Two middle names or try simone

You cant give a first name he dislikes - you can do two middle names

I don’t see any bullying here. You want to give his child a name that he really dislikes. A name he will be using, myriad times a day, for the rest of his life. It has to be something you both like.

The baby will have DH’s last name and a middle name that is traditional in his family

Well, perhaps you need to revisit these decisions.

I can see why he wouldn't want his child saddled with a name he really dislikes. Plus, she'll end up being called Ninny at school.

Why not go for three names, with Nina plus his family name as the middle names?

If he doesn't like the name then he doesn't like it, it doesn't actually matter why he doesn't like it. However, if he gets to dictate a middle name, you can do the same so Nina can be an additional middle name.

I'm having the same issue with my DP with a family middle name. I'm happy to use it if we have a boy but it means the boys name I like, which DP isn't keen on, will also have to be a middle name.

Really you hold all the cards here don't let him bully you

What a fantastic way to operate in what im assuming is supposed to be a loving relationship

First name should be agreed jointly.

Nina could easily be another middle name.

I really like the name Nina. Lovely choice. But I don't think he's evil or nasty here. Baby's first name is the one you'll both use every day for the rest of your lives, probably. It needs to be one you both like.

Go for Nina as another middle, and choose a first name you can both agree on.