Namesake Nightmare

Suggest Darragh?

I wouldn't even contemplate giving my child a name I didn't like- it should be a joint decision between both parents.

It’s awful. Use it as a middle name rather than inflicting it as a first name.

No your H doesn’t get to decide this. You both have to agree.

And surely you remember the time you promised your first best friend you would never call a child Darren, because of how awful that Darren she knew was?

I think Darren is ok.
I remember when Archie , Alfie, Frederick and the like we're viewed as awful names. Thing a come round in cycles.
Fwiw this is why I would never agree to one parent choosing a name. Far better for both of you to choose a name you both like, than one you love but the other hates.

Darragh? Not Darren though. It’s a bit like Wayne; you just can’t do it.

There were only 40 Darren's born in 2017 so pretty much no chance of there being another one in his class so there is an advantage.

How does big Darren feel about this? Does he still expect his mates baby to be named after him??!

Why did he promise this? Did his friend save his life or do something out of the ordinary to warrant such an honour? Because I’ve got lots of good mates but I didn’t name my baby after any of them.

I wouldn’t saddle my PFB with Darren. It’s awful. Really dated. Just no. If you really feel you must honour this agreement Ohno’s suggestion above is a good one. Daniel Arrun is fine.

It’s actually quite a nice name and if it hadn’t been so popular in the 80s it’d fit quite well alongside modern names. I don’t hate it and he’s certainly be the only one in his class!

Having said that, I’d go for middle name.

I predict that Darren will come back fairly soon because some of the 50-something Darrens are becoming grandads. I hated it when I was a kid, because the first one I ever knew was mean to me, but nowadays I can think of worse names. It seems fresher than Jayden or Tyler or any of that crop of names. Oddly enough I met a guy called Darren today who I would say was probably about 40 (I'd always associated it with slightly older people than that, my age, early 50s) and was very intelligent and interesting, a good advertisement for the name. Having said that, if you don't like it, you don't have to use it. I agree with SputnikBear - let his friend think it's all your fault, but don't feel railroaded into using any name you're not happy with (and obviously don't do the reverse to DH either).

Sorry Dazza, that ain't happening.

No! No no no.

Why on earth did he make a promise like that to his mate? His dying grandfather maybe, but a mate??

You need to be clear it is a joint decision and you hate the name Darren. Using as a middle name seems a decent compromise.

It could work you could even have it as a middle name at least he won't be one of a dozen in his class

When did he make this promise? If it was before he met you I don’t see why you should agree. If it was back in the 90s then Darren can’t possibly expect your DH to stick by an agreement they made as kids. If it was recently I’d be furious that he went behind your back!

Just let him tell Darren that you won’t agree to it, roll his eyes and say “Women, eh?” Take the blame to give your DH a get-out. You can’t possibly call your DC an awful name and live with it forever (and make your DC live with it). That just isn’t reasonable regardless of what DH promised his friend.

In my part of the world it’s a 70’s/80’s name. Choice nicknames include: Daz, Dazzler and Dazza.

Sorry, I know that just makes it worse.

Call Darren Snr yourself and be honest with him? For all you know he might not like his own name, and be a bit horrified at your DH’s plan?

Middle name at best. Even that is bad.

Anyway, why would someone name their child after a still-alive best friend? I had to avoid a couple of nice names just because I have close friends with the names and that would be weird.

Darren as a middle name. Easy compromise.

I agree it's not a bad name and you did promise your DH he could use the name for your your son. This is between you and the baby's father. If you talk to him about your misgivings maybe he'll compromise. If not, I think you should honor your promise.

Darren is dated but I can see it the appeal that it had. It’s not a bad name.

Daniel Arran - D. Arran - Darren

Or whatever first name beginning with D that you like.

Alternatively find another way to honour the friend - if he’s such a great guy he will understand that you might live him but not his name

It’s fine to use it now.
I’m hearing a few names like that around. I know an 8 year old Ian, a four year old Brian and a 9 year old Jonathan.
They’re names people know and can spell, but not too common that there’ll be loads in their school.

I don't actually hate it but I do think you should love the name as it's your baby. So yes, think of some alternatives.

Darren for Godfather - you cant name a baby Darren !

I think he needs to explain to his mate that he wasn't in a position to make that promise without checking with you.

You could give it as a middle name if you want.

Dara (or Daragh or Daire) any good? It's a lovely name (Like it even more on a girl actually)