Wondering about Baby Surname

or if I should give her his surname just so he doesn't run away

WTF?!

You should give your name.

Hi, so am not married , and I and my 'partner' don't seem to have any future plans. I would say I do not entirely know what his pans are about being a father or a present on.

I'm sorry OP but nothing you said here suggests marriage may happen one day. Quite the opposite.

“I’m glad she has the same surname as someone rather than having given her my maiden name because she’d be the only insertsurname if I had.”

You do know it’s not compulsory to change your name when you marry?

I'm not married to my partner and am currently pregnant, we're going to be double - barrelling our names - which to be fair i've pushed for because if we ever get married then i'd want to keep my name anyway so this works for future plans as well

DD has her dads last name. We are no longer together ( split when she was 6 months) and I am now married to my DH so have a different last name. I wish I’d given her my surname rather than his but I’m glad she has the same surname as someone rather than having given her my maiden name because she’d be the only insertsurname if I had.

If you take him to register the birth, the baby will have his surname. I simply can not see it panning out any other way.

I and my 'partner' don't seem to have any future plans.

Why are you talking about “when you marry then? Did you mean “if”?

Sorry I missed the 'when we get married'

Are you living in a fantasy world?

Your OP says you don't have any future plans and you don't even know his plans for being a father, now you are getting married?

would say I do not entirely know what his pans are about being a father

The surname of your child is the least of your worries.

You are about to have a child and you don't know what his plans are? Jesus.

Yes, give your child your surname, because if you don't you will be back here in a few weeks asking how to change it.

Oh, and maybe communicate with your partner?

'When we get married later'
Is that on the cards?

Your name. My mum (parents unmarried) went to register me alone back in the 80s, tried to use my dad’s but couldn’t without him there, so he went the next time and they used his. He buggered off not long after and I’ve never had anything to do with him.

I unofficially used my mum’s surname at school but I had have a signed letter from a court in the 90s to get a passport in my mum’s name.... this caused raised eyebrows when me and DH went to get married as my mum couldn’t find the letter from the court and I had a different name on my BC and passport. She always wishes she’d just registered me with her name the first time she went.

Moral of the story, it can be a huge faff. Register the baby yourself, I hope everything goes ok for you

if I should give her his surname just so he doesn't run away.

Definitely not! Do not include his name anywhere on the bc.

Definitely your name

Your name.

Birth certificates aren't some point scoring exercise.

I agree with this. However, I would register her without him and then add him later to ensure he doesn’t try to force you to use his surname. You can’t include him on the certificate unless he registers the birth with you.

Definitely use your surname if you are not in a secure relationship.

Thanks @MaisyPops

It sounds to me like cutting off your nose to spite your face. And your child's face at that! If anything, if you think he is likely to be flakey, it would make it easier to claim maintenance etc if he is on the certificate.

NecessaryOnABicycle
Because a minority of women think that who is dad depends on who they are in a relationship with. If a man isn't commited to their relationship then obviously that means the woman should prevent him having parental rights. Keeping the dad off the birth certificate becomes a way of scoring points with some openly saying they do it to make it more difficult for the dad to get court orders for contact, says over medical treatment etc.

Why would you not put him on the birth certificate if you know he's the father? I don't understand this advice.

He’s not entirely sure what his plans are but you are entirely sure what yours are.

Use your surname, but don't keep him off the birth certificate as someone's already suggested.
Your DC deserves to know who her father is and should anything happen to your relationships you can go for CMS much easier withiut him claiming I'm the baby isn't his. Birth certificates aren't some point scoring exercise.

Yours. I wouldn’t double barrel either. It sounds like you are the baby are going to be the main relationship and family unit here.

Don't even think about giving the baby his surname! It won't make him stay around (only the wish to be a good father will do that, and that's nothing you can influence) and you will be the main, possibly only parent in her life. You and she will be the family unit and she should have your name. Absolute no brainer.

Use your name - otherwise you have loads of additional admin - travelling overseas, registering at doctor, childcare etc is all more difficult with different names. Strictly speaking it shouldn’t make a difference but it really does. Why give her the name of a bloke who’s disinterested in her? You’re her family, give her your name.

🤔 this situation sounds depressing and messy - not sure why you thought bringing a child into this would be a good idea.

(Unless you really were the 1/100 contraception warns us about - in which case 100% give them your Surname we don’t live in the 50’s anymore children were automatically given the fathers surname back then because mothers were pretty much always married. It’s not just a god given right - your baby your name)