Why on mumsnet do people think their children’s names have to “go” together ?

@TatianaLarina Phoebe went into the top 100 list for the first time in the UK the year that Friends started. Rachel also was popular Oddly Monica never followed . It has steadily risen since yes however I sadly do think it is due to Friends. I think Aoife is oddone out as Irish for many yet the other 3 are not English.

I think middle names are quite useful. For differentiating between people. It was quite useful at school for example when you had two Kate Smiths or whatever, and one became Kate J Smith and the other became Kate A Smith.

I'm more against middle names. They're pointless

I grew up with a name that my mum "just liked" and which was massively popular in my year at school, while my brother's first name is an old family name (though he goes by his middle name admittedly which is also fairly popular in our generation, his first name is really rare).
I felt that it was rather unfair to give me a name picked "at random" while he had in fact two family names with history.
The same would apply if you had a Tarquin and a Jane. Can't be bothered to think of something unusual for the girl, basically. Or if you had a John and a Persephone. Why should he have a name that every second bloke has or alternatively why should she have a name she's going to constantly have to spell and read out for people.
So from my experience it's all about equity - make sure your children are treated equally.
My DCs both have longer, more unusual family first names (their last name, DH name, is similar in popularity to "Smith" so their first names stand out a bit more).
Their middle names are both first names of grand parents, and they both have a second middle name of my last name.
I am happy we chose this way because it keeps it equal.

I actually fail to see why anyone would ever post on baby names at all - there are books and websites devoted to names.

And forum threads, OP. There are also forum threads devoted to this topic. Perhaps these are not the forum threads for you? Although you appear to have posted...about baby names...

I don’t think that Phoebe is the name that seems out of place - Enko
That would be Aoife as it’s the only Irish one. Nor do I think that the rise of Phoebe has anything to do with Friends - it was on in the 90s - the increase in popularity of Phoebe is much more recent.

I don’t understand the posters on this thread saying ‘why would you ask strangers’ and ‘no one cares about your children’s names’ and calling baby name threads ‘self indulgent’... why are you posting here then if you think it’s so ridiculous? That seems ridiculous to me. Some people like to discuss baby names? No harm done.

Well I am going to outmyself here completely

However I have 4 children

Phoebe, Eloisa, Conrad & Aoife

Phoebe has many times had people on hearing her siblings names comment on how hers seemed out of place to her siblings. So yes people DO notice this. I don't personally agree that it is they are all names that would have been common in late 19th Century The difference is as my Phoebe grew up (she is in her 20s) she ended up with a name that shoot up in popularity where as her siblings have names that have remained down low. This to people makes them feel the names do not " go" together

Had friends not happened Phoebe would have remained down low on the list and no one would have felt they didn't " go" However add thi to the face that he greatly favours MILS looks and her siblings doesn't and it did cause her a fair bit of distress as a child. Helped explaining to her exactly why she had got her name (JD Salingers The Catcher in the Rye dh wanted it from he was 14) and that Phoebe was " the greatest sister in the world"

Well of course they need to ‘go together ‘! Say you have a child called Sebastian, you don’t want his siblings to be called Elvis, Shanaya and Dwayne
@Aintnothingbutaheartache

I actually spat my tea out laughing at that one..

I don't also get it! Any names that have a great meaning will always be okay for me.

Well I don’t get why people choose completely random names that sound bizarre together. I don’t get why they wear completely random outfits either. It’s a slightly hedge backwards approach to life.

Partly because some names together sound rediculous or have other associations. A sense check on these is sometimes helpful. For example Billy could not have a sibling named Elliott. Sam a sibling named Ella. etc

If you give them names that go, then you don’t have to feel bad for treating your kids unequally.

Feel bad for giving your kids different names? Really?

I know lots of families whose kids have very different names, some very popular ones, other more unusual ones, doesn't seem to be a problem!

It’s to stop your kids giving you shit when they get older. If you have a Tom, Ella and Beyoncé. Either Beyoncé’s gonna hate you for giving her an out there name or Tom and Ella are going to hate you for giving them boring names. If you give them names that go, then you don’t have to feel bad for treating your kids unequally.

Well of course they need to ‘go together ‘! Say you have a child called Sebastian, you don’t want his siblings to be called Elvis, Shanaya and Dwayne

I notice when couples names go together ie William and Katherine or Matthew and Nicole. Then you could come across a couple called George and Spiral, it sounds odd to me anyway. George needs to marry a Martha and Spiral needs to marry a man called Fox or Jarrah (real children’s names). I know of two couples who were Leon and Leonne and Dion and Dionne. At least they weren’t twins but married couples.

It’s just shorthand for “this is the kind of name I like” and also “I don’t want a name that will make people do a double-take when they hear them together”. It’s very rarely because posters actually want a matching set - it’s just to stop people suggesting Thomas or Kaiden to someone who has an Atticus and a Parthenope and isn’t really going to be up for those styles.

LovelyBranches I know someone like that too.

I wanted names with a similar feel so that none of the children felt like the odd one out. If I'd had Matthew, James, Thomas and Tarquin, poor Tarquin would always have been wondering what he did to deserve it. // Ditto Tarquin, Sebastian, Hugo, Darren.

But a parent who likes Martha is unlikely to like Kortnee. So that's very unrealistic.

In itself there's nothing wrong with the combination

I grew up with someone who had a traditional african name. Her sibling had a traditional Welsh name. It sounded so odd, like they weren’t anything to do with each other and didn’t belong in the same family. It also caused some animosity because one had to spell her name to everyone and the other didn’t. I wanted my children to have names that worked together and even though my children have names from different languages they are similar in ‘feel’

Well to me it just sounds a tad daft if you had a Martha Rose and Kortnee-Paige.

This.

I don't get it either.

I get that some combinations might sound daft like Sam and Ella or Doris and Boris.

But most names shouldn't be a problem.