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Original poster

MIL won't stop giving name suggestions and asking for the name

65 replies

Yellowcar107 · 25/08/2018 13:11

Hi,

This is my second pregnancy and my MIL was the same in the last one. I just have had enough really, I don't want to tell her the name we chose as last time we did she was rude about it.

As we don't give her a name she is constantly suggesting names and gets put out if we say we don't like them. I try to be polite and say its to similar to DD or someone in the family has it already.

She just won't stop and I don't know what to do about it. DH can't say a word to her as she gets all high rate with him.

I just want the name talk to stop and just want to enjoy going over to see them wtih DD like we did before.

Any suggestions? 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
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GoldenMcOldie · 26/08/2018 03:32

I read these threads and often feel a little sad.

OP have you tried looking at this from a different perspective? Perhaps she just wants to be involved?

If you can hand on your heart say that she is trying to upset you then tell her the truth. Say that you don't appreciate her interference, that it upsets you.

If she is just being a bit over zealous, try and cut her some slack. Kindness for the sake is ok.

Topseyt · 26/08/2018 03:02

Just tell her that the baby will be called Balonz. Then let her stew about that for a while.

Flamingosnbears · 25/08/2018 19:43

Politely tell her this is your choice between you and your husband and that she had her turn with her children.

Originalsaltedpeanuts · 25/08/2018 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cbeebiesrehab · 25/08/2018 18:46

When we wouldn’t tell my mother our son’s name she said ‘oh well, I’ll just call him Archie then’ she then called him Archie in a number of texts between me and my sisters and I have to admit I lost my cool a bit and she stopped doing it but started doing things like saying ‘I had a dream last night and I think my grandson is called Oliver’ Hmm I just ignored her or put on my best bitch face and tried to change the subject.
My MIL on the other hand was a dream😂

Westworldmaeve · 25/08/2018 18:45

Oh ooh oog, can we help with thinking up a weird name to tell her?

Bonzo Mcdonald Trumpski?

guiltynetter · 25/08/2018 18:39

my MIL was the same so in the end i just told her a name that we were considering (but were planning on using something different) it kept her quiet for a while.

bobisbored · 25/08/2018 18:38

I just kept telling my MIL that we would "see what she looked like". It shut her up eventually.

blueskiesandforests · 25/08/2018 18:37

I agree, say you've chosen XYZ [an outrageous name] in honour of your dearly loved childhood hamster, and won't consider anything else.

My mother kept suggesting the names of my cousins for my dc2; my cousins are inoffensive, unremarkable beige people I'm not close to, only saw once per year growing up, and haven't seen in years. They both have "dad" names they share with many 70s born men. Naming my baby after one of them would have been very weird. When we did tell her our chosen name she left a very long pause and then said in a heavily disappointed tone "Oh. I suppose I'll get used to it". Added to my growing inclination never to tell her anything again...

BasilFaulty · 25/08/2018 18:32

She got to pick her own kids names!

Just nod along and smile. How annoying.

MikeUniformMike · 25/08/2018 18:25

Sorry. It was too good to ignore.
Good job I don't have a son or I'd be worried. Best wishes OP, and don't forget to ask on here if MIL runs out of ideas.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 25/08/2018 18:23

@MikeUniformMke 😂😂😂
OP, Tell her to butt out.

MrsJayy · 25/08/2018 17:20

She sounds v v overexcited and sticks her oar in.

Original poster
Yellowcar107 · 25/08/2018 16:21

Hi guys

Thank you so much for the suggestions!

I will be saying her suggestions will be added to the list and that we want to keep it secret until the baby is born as last time others was rude about our name choices.

Not sure why she is so obsessed with knowing, she is one of those women that want to be part of the pregnancy. DH is only child as she wants to be part of every part of his life. Last time she even tried to get me to take her to the delivery room! Lol she knows that isn't even an option to talk about as I shut that down immediately last time.

Thanks again guys! Fingers crossed this whole baby name talk will ease x

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 25/08/2018 16:14

Smile sweetly and say you would like it to be a surprise and will tell her after the birth

ReginaPhalange89 · 25/08/2018 16:07

My OH told his side of the family my fav girls name and they all didn't like it! That was before we even found out she was a girl. From then on we just kept quiet and said we had a few to choose from . We used it anyway despite them not liking it!

Every time she suggests one I'd just say "oh that's lovely I'll add it to my list " . Tell her you're not in a rush and will have a couple to choose when she arrives ! Why's she so desperate to know anyway ! Nice to have some surprise on the day she arrives !

marants · 25/08/2018 14:38

Irate?

Holidayshopping · 25/08/2018 14:36

High rate?

I would tell her that you’ve got a name but it’s staying a secret until the baby is born because some people were so rude when you told them when you were pregnant last time. Then smile serenely.

AlbertaSimmons · 25/08/2018 14:31

Me and DS1 did this as a game throughout DDiL's pregnancy. We worked our way through the 12 apostles, the ninja turtles, world XI footballers, girl bands, boy bands etc. It was just a bit of fun.

Timeforanothernewone · 25/08/2018 14:31

@MrsJayy my nan was the same. She doesn't call him the wrong name any more but still struggles to remember his actual name! She normally just calls him 'the baby'. She remembers my niece's name as she once knew someone with her name

ivykaty44 · 25/08/2018 14:30

Tell her you like Helen or Nelson

But you’re not sure about Helen...

MrsBartlettforthewin · 25/08/2018 14:27

Pick a name that she'll hate and tell her if she doesn't stop bugging you then you will call the child that name just to annoy her.

Or get DH to deal with his mum and every time she starts leave the room. If she can't do as you have asked politely then I see no need to continue being polite.

MrsJayy · 25/08/2018 14:26

Tbf Mil didn't maliciously call her Rachel she just got it into her head it got really annoying after a week though

GinIsIn · 25/08/2018 14:26

My mother pointedly told us she hated the name we picked for DS. We called him it anyway. 18 months on, she tells everyone how she chose his lovely name Confused

GinIsIn · 25/08/2018 14:25

My mother pointedly told us she hated the name we picked for DS. We called him it anyway. 18 months on, she tells everyone how she chose his lovely name Confused

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