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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Name Dilemma

39 replies

CrackersDontMatter · 13/06/2018 18:38

It’s very early days for us yet so this is all just hypothetical right now. If this baby is a girl, DH wants to name her after his mum. Sadly she died before we met and I absolutely support his desire to memorialise her in this way. She sounds like an amazing lady and I’m sad that if we’d met just a few months earlier I could have known her.

The problem isn’t really the name itself, it’s a pretty name I suppose and I don’t dislike it as such. It’s not something I would choose because it’s not my style. The other issue I have with the name is that it is so popular right now.

I went through school being one of four of my name in my class. I was referred to as “First name Surname” all through school. Even by friends. I was never just “first name”.

So, I suppose what I’m asking is should I just get over myself and give him what he wants? Would I be an absolute knob to try and persuade him otherwise? Would you agree to a name you’re not really keen on in these circumstances? Obviously this could all be moot, the baby could be a boy but I just can’t get my head around a name I don’t love.

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Chewedupcucumber · 13/06/2018 20:18

I was always Chewedup last name, with 2 or 3 of the same name in my class. Never bothered me at all, in fact it was nice to ‘blend in’ rather than be saddled with an ‘unusual’ name, especially during akward teenaged years.

I

Proudmummy2MA · 13/06/2018 20:15

I think it's a lovely thing to do if it's in honour of his mum, especially as it means so much to him.

For what it's worth, I've been teaching for 16 years and have only taught 3 Lilys in that time (all spelt differently - Lily, Lillie and Lilly) and there haven't been any in my son's baby groups, pre-school or school year (60 children) so the name doesn't strike me as that popular.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 13/06/2018 20:15

I think unless you love the name, you should use it as her middle name. This is your daughter you are talking about, a person in her own right...she’s not a tribute to your DH’s Mum, no matter how lovely she was. She’s your daughter, you need to love her name and she needs to be ‘herself’ not a ‘soother’ for her Dad. Sorry, that’s not worded very well, but I hope you understand what I’m saying.

I lost my Dad and I adored him, but if I had a baby boy I wouldn’t name him after my Dad because I’d want to give him the space to be ‘him’ and not trying to live up to being like or living up to his grandad...a middle name, maybe.

MikeUniformMike · 13/06/2018 20:10

As it is a lovely name, I think I would use it. Is there a name you love that you could use as a middle name, maybe yours or your mum's?
Please don't use something Lily-ish like Lillian or Liliana, as that is not honouring the name.

NapQueen · 13/06/2018 20:07

I think Lily is popular in the classic sense rather than in the 10 a penny sense. Its a name that doesnt date. Its very easy to pair with most sibling names.

BangPippleGo · 13/06/2018 20:07

Lily is beautiful and you're right, very popular - but I think it might have 'peaked' a few years ago? I know of lots of 4/5/6yo Lily's but i havent heard any new Lily's for a few years so it's entirely possible she will be the only Lily amongst her peers.

That said you both need to really love whatever name you decide on.

Chewedupcucumber · 13/06/2018 20:07

Lily’s a lovely, lovely name.
I thought you were going to say Bertha or Donna or something!

What would be your choice, out of interest?

Personally, id say go for it. It’s a beautiful name, it’s mean the world to him, and you get first pick with the next one 😉

Original poster
CrackersDontMatter · 13/06/2018 20:02

Thank you, I’m sure I’m over thinking it. I didn’t want to say the actual name as I didn’t want a lot of replies telling me how lovely it is. Like I said, I don’t particularly dislike it, I just would never choose it. I was more just wondering about opinions of using a name you’re not sure of.

It’s Lily. I feel awful, I know it’s a nice name, I’m just struggling to get on board with it. Maybe if I’d known his mum, I’d be able to connect it more with the memory of her rather than it just being a word on a page.

Actually the more I read my words here, the more I feel like I should agree. It would mean the world to him and maybe that is a good enough reason.

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MikeUniformMike · 13/06/2018 19:48

Use it as a middle name.

NapQueen · 13/06/2018 19:46

I wouldnt worry about popularity - apparently Jack is most popular boys name and I know no jacks. There are none in either of my kids classes either.

What is the name?

Flamingosnbears · 13/06/2018 19:43

You could have it as one of the middles you'd still be honouring her, explain how you feel I'm sure he'll see it from your perspective if you explain it the way you did in your post.

Yika · 13/06/2018 19:12

You could use it as a first name but double it up by using it always with the middle name (as if it were hyphenated) to make it more unique without in any way compromising the name itself.

HeyDolly · 13/06/2018 18:55

I would honour his mum by using it as a middle name but pick a different first name together

Original poster
CrackersDontMatter · 13/06/2018 18:39

Just to add, I have no issue whatsoever with using it as a middle name.

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